What-A-Mess

God, I'm trying to write a clever post about the wisdom of 'the chat' but I can't fucking function. I didn't have the concentration to read Heat magazine the other day, never mind write something intelligent. Basically, if you're a single woman out there struggling with dating, I would just like to offer you this snippet of advice: NEVER HAVE THE TALK.

Yes, you may find out where you stand, but The Talk kills off all notion of possibility. It also quite possibly embarrasses the hell out of the object of your affection so that flirting becomes impossible and practically all contact is initiated by you.

I'm listening to Amy Winehouse. That's when you know it's bad.

You know that Sex and the City moment where Carrie cries in the new Yankee's mouth over Big? I totally know how that fictional character felt. I kind of just did it to the Boyf. Only worse.

Since I'm no good with words, here's a picture to summarise the whole Crunchie/Chica saga.

I really should have known it would end like this earlier, like when he said, word for word: "All men are dogs."