Can I ask a question? How do people survive dating? I mean, I know what I'm doing here isn't anywhere near as advanced as dating, and look at the frickin' state of me. I just wrote a really whiny post about him and believe it or not, after all the drivel I've posted lately, I'm too embarrassed to post it. It's just complete schlep.
The last time I had to 'date' was when I was 17 years old, and I kind of just sailed through the whole thing without any sort of game plan or worries because my boyfriend is a darling who pretty much decided I was the one for him instantaneously and treated me as such thereafter.
This shit is far too complicated for my tiny little brain. And coupled with the guilt? Forget about it.
Today is the first normal work day since he left and it is sucking big time. The hours are dragging by and I keep looking out for a glimpse of him out of habit. Phrases and nicknames he invented have stuck and people all around me are using them. He was a big presence and his absence is therefore really noticeable. I don't even feel like I can talk about him because people didn't realise we were remotely close and so it will look odd if I suddenly have all this knowledge when Sassy asks if anyone's heard from him. Can you imagine? "Oh yeah. He text me last night about one am, not sure how he is but his underwear was clean."
So. I'm trying to wait this out and not text him until Friday after I've been to see the new Bond with Studmuffin. I don't know why I'm so uptight about it since he sent me the last message on Monday, but I just feel like a little space is probably good. Either that or it's one of those seize the day things and I'll totally miss the boat by not pursuing him. One or the other, hey? Ho hum.
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3 comments:
Hun, the guy has felt you up in a stairwell. The time for coyness has passed. He starts a new job next week and won't be flitting in and out of your place anymore. You've left a respectable amount of time already, and his last text to you was a come on. If you want him, send the frigging text.
Oy!
Mj is a marvel, where can I get my own version?
He's right of course and also, post the damn post no matter how drivelly you think it is. No-one here is going to judge you on it, believe me. This blogging malarkey is supposed to be cathartic - do it, do it!
Also, God, I know - how do people date? I've been off the battlefield for nearly five years and I'm so relieved I can now let myself go (well, I did that about three years ago). Kidding, but the mind games? All the effort? All the princes we kissed that turned into toads? Argh.
If I ever find myself single again I'm getting a smallish dog and I'm sticking with him.
Love you x x
Haha, I've already got a smallish dog and let me tell you he is my #1 man!
How hard does MJ rock? But he's pretty used to getting his own way in the love department, and doesn't realise the rest of us mere mortals can't bring a man to his knees with the click of our fingers ;)
Love you both! xxx
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