KnockBack from SexyBack

Well, after a disappointing day yesterday, and increasingly difficult moments with the Boyf, I decided to have it out with Himself and sort out once and for all what's going on between us. Ever wish you hadn't made an incredibly stupid, rash decision?

I was feeling pretty bold in a pair of high heels, well fitting dark blue jeans, and a simple but flattering top, and finally stopped acting like such a wimp. I summoned him to meet me while I was on a really boring shelving job. When I noticed him approaching, my heart started beating faster. I tried to prepare myself. He turned the corner and said "Just follow the sound of the jingling," about my bracelets. I agreed and commented that I was noisy today, since he'd earlier remarked on my high heels clicking across the floor. He'd also stroked my arm while we were looking at photos, put his head really close to mine, and told me I looked cute in a truly heinous picture of me and 'Muffin. Since the flirting episodes were apparently back on I would maybe have not bothered with the talk, except I'd already asked to chat to him that morning.

I can't face re-hashing it all, so here is the e-mail I sent Guillermo earlier today.

Well, it went okay, but basically nothings gonna happen and I can't get my hands on Himself.

I was really proud of myself actually for the way I handled it; I was very grown up and really cool when he gave me the knock back.

I said there were probably better ways to put it but I needed to know where I stood and whether or not this was harmless flirting or if he wanted something to happen. He said he didn't know. I said he'd asked me what I wanted but I didn't know what he wanted, that he speaks to me likes he's single when he's not, and that I need to know what he thinks.

He said he does want something to happen and he is interested but he couldn't cheat on Sarah. I said for the record I wouldnt cheat on the Boyf, if he asked me out I would finish with him first. He said things are going shit with him and Sarah at the minute and they could break up at the weekend, he doesn't know.

I said I just wanted to grab him and he laughed, I said I felt like I couldn't because I think he regrets Saturday. He said he doesn't regret it at all. I said 'You said a lot of things to me on Saturday, but I didn't take them seriously because you were drunk.'

He asked what he said. I said 'Do you remember trying to kiss me on the way out?' he looked sheepish and said no. I said 'Do you remember asking me to come home with you?' he covered his face with his hand, I said 'Do you remember telling me to get single?' he squirmed a bit further and said sorry. I said it was ok cos I knew he was pissed. He said sorry :P

I said 'Ok, just harmless flirting then?' he said 'For now' and I said I was happy with that.

Then we talked about how his jacket was looking a bit shiny and had he ironed it? :P

I said to be honest I never thought he'd be interested anyway until Saturday. He said he was interested it was just the situation. I said 'I know, I'm in the same situation.'

I said thanks for coming to chat to me, he apologised again and said he shouldn't have said all that on Saturday. I said it was fine and not to worry about it.

Not spoken to him since, but you know he's not gonna effin flirt with me ever again in a gazillion years :P

I need a hug :( x

At some point he also said that being tied to an office chair sounded great, forgot that bit earlier :P *sigh*

What now?