Dizzy Heights

Stuck in work until 9 o'clock and sans-pancakes, I am blissfully remembering that noon stroll through town I enjoyed yesterday, contentedly browsing through clothes racks and munching on a mango mayo butty from Greggs. Even my trip to the hospital didn't cast a shadow over my day, as I was in and out pretty quick, my lovely Boyf accompanied me, and the doctor was jolly and funny. I went because I used to get really bad dizziness, so every now and then I have to check in with an Ear Nose and Throat specialist and they generally get me to jump up and down on the spot with my eyes closed, which doesn't feel at all ridiculous. Here are some sample quotes:

Doc: (with a beaming smile) There you are. Are you still doing the dancing? (this must be in my notes as I'd never met this doctor before)
Me: Um yeah, can I ask you, do you think I am okay to wear headphones?
Doc: Yes, there is nothing to say that they are bad for you. Yes, I want you to wear the headphones and dance, dance, dance!

Yup, he's as mad as a hatter.

Roll on 9 o'clock. And to those of you celebrating Pancake Day: Enjoy!

Violets R Blue

Well-a well-a well-a ooh! I've had a lurvely weekend, with good food, good company and a good battering of my bank balance! Saturday I roped my boyfriend into some light shopping with the promise of some grub at the end of it; I got some nice shoes for work, a shirt and a very smart grey jumper, and we went for some yummy tapas and sangria. Sunday we lazed around watching Shipwrecked and then took Puppy to the park, where he barked at everything that wagged. Today was another good'n despite having to go to the hospital for a follow-up appointment, as I got half a day off work and sneaked in a bit more shopping; I treated myself to some jeans and got Puppy a jumper from Topshop! It's red and white, with a bone stitched into the back and a hood with a red bobble! SO CUTE! And all the while I was thinking 'I'm getting paid for this, tee hee!' Work was an absolute breeze this morning since I knew I wasn't in all day - oh to be a part timer! Although I probably couldn't afford to have such fabulous weekends then, and wouldn't be excitedly awaiting the arrival of my latest extravagant purchase...

It's so pretty!

Love, Elvis

A quick note about the state of my stats. Now that Tess Daly is back on the telly I am getting lots of boys searching for (naked) pictures of her in The Beloved's Sweet Harmony video again, because I mentioned it once many moons ago. How disappointed they must be with this result! Sorry boys! I also get lots of hits from people looking for 'most beautiful girls' and sometimes 'beautiful girls fucking', which I blame on MJ for his very embarrassing link to me. Again, my apologies, and a general sense of dubiousness about who my target audience is shaping up to be. I realise as I type this I am quadrupling the number of naked pic trawlers I will be getting, but I am quite sure everybody gets these since the most innocent phrase seems to be rendered seedy by an internet search engine (like my search for a bed retailer that brought up topless women as the first result - I'm Feeling Lucky indeed!)

But among the recent crop of stats has to be the most bizarre desire I have ever come across - a shy. plaintive question, tinged with a hopeful sense of teenage curiosity and/or a sort of simplistic fanaticism: can we see elvis kissing a girl? So, this pic is just for you Ontario. I love my Canadian readers! ;)

You're not f*cking Carrie!

Candace Bushnell (creator of Sex and the City, if you didn't know!) feels my pain. No really:

"'God, I hated my twenties!' she remembers. 'They were such a struggle. You are told you are going to have this big career, but then you find you are sharpening pencils.'"
- Marie Claire, March 2006, UK Edition, p.153, interviewed by Charlotte Moore.

Hope and pray, girls, hope and pray.

"What do you mean you're ditching me for Chica?!"

PS The title of this post is a quote from an interview with Mario Cantone, who plays Anthony in SATC, who I secretly wish I could go shopping with even though I understand he is a fictional character!

There's Something About Mary

A little more about the old genealogy project. Thanks to David by the way for the links. I've come to a halt on my research at the moment because, well, have you any idea how difficult it is to find a particular person with an Irish surname in 19th century Liverpool? And my family has Irish roots every which way you turn. Furthermore, every flipping woman seems to be called Mary. Even my generation has women called Mary, and really I think it's quite inconsiderate of my ancestors to give out common names in spadefuls and set such an annoying trend. Take for example my great grandmother Mary Brown. This sounds like an innocuous enough name, one that shouldn't really cause offense to anyone, apart from the 21st century granddaughter trying to pinpoint one person in a sea of 1,600 other Mary Brown's living in Lancashire in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Thank heavens for my nan's family, who prefer to dish out such monikers as Philophilus and Kezia. Great great granny Dewson, I salute you! (I'm guessing on that surname, I've gone so far back on that side I can't remember who's who.)

So, after my searches on ancestry.co.uk dried up, I decided the only place to go was the Public Record Office. I very efficiently got myself ready on Sunday morning, and distracted only by an hour or so of Shipwrecked, set off to find that it was in fact a load of pants and I could see everything they had via the Internet in my pyjamas drinking tea! So I am now back to square one.

And in terms of my non-Irish ancestors: I never thought I'd find myself looking for a Maltese sailor (or at least not in this context.)

Ready Freddie

I've been tagged by the marvellous Wondy. This one was actually a toughie as I don't have time to listen to music very often, for shame! But these are the tunes I've found myself humming while pushing a trolley load of books around work lately.

The rules: List 7 songs you're into right now. No matter the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs.

Basement Jaxx - Oh My Gosh
Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha. Yes, still.
No Doubt - Sunday Morning (sappy, pathetic little me)
KT Tunstall - Stoppin' the Love
Kanye West - Gold Digger
The Zutons - You Will You Won't
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now. I wouldn't have included this but ever since I saw it on Wondy's list I just can't get it out of my head! This song reminds me of driving around France, since Queen's The Greatest Hits was the only tape we remembered to take with us on our first visit, and we've played it in homage ever since. Also, Freddie Mercury rocks. Altogether now: I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars!

I'm meant to tag seven other people, but as always, just play along if you feel like, remembering of course that all those who don't play smell of poo.

Reality Bites

I swear the weekends are getting shorter.

Also, how do people manage to look fashionable at 7 o'clock in the morning? I can just about tie my shoelaces.

Thank Crunchie It's Friday

Okay, so I've been a bit of a lazy blogger recently. But, in my defence, I would like to say three things. 1) I have developed a new distraction/obsession in researching my family tree, and was quite into it until I hit a brick wall sometime last week. 2) This week I have been absolutely cream crackered and spent most of Wednesday evening in bed. And 3) I generally am quite lazy, and there are lots of other things I'm busy neglecting right now.

Heath: Is that Chica waving her pants at you again?

Now, with the preamble out of the way I can tell you without further ado that I finally dragged the Boyfy to see Brokeback Mountain last Sunday. I knew he would hate everything about the film, since it is really slow and atmospheric and has caused my dad to greet him with a "howdy" ever since, but he offered to go with me for a Valentines treat. How good is my boyfriend that he would actually fund my Jake G habit? He made me ask for the tickets though, and proceeded to throw popcorn at me throughout the entire film. But to the film itself: I really liked it, and that scene early on where the kids are screaming and Heath is trying to soothe them? An advert for gay sex if ever I saw one. It's hard to talk about without giving too much away, and there may be at least one person in the free living world who left it later than me to see it, so I'll keep schtum. But ah! How sad. Didn't rate Jake's 'tache, but I suppose they had to make him look older somehow.

Valentines perked up once I got home and the Boyfy surprised me with flowers, chocs, champagne, and strawberries, after pretending my Valentines gift was but a Toblerone. We haven't indulged in the champers yet as we have both been working all week, but this weekend looks quite promising as we are going out for a lovely meal at a French restaurant, which I'll need to get dolled up for and I don't know what to wear!

I am very happy today since it's Friday and this morning Crunchie complimented me on my hair. Call me shallow, but that kind of thing always puts me in a good mood! If I win in the Picking Up Lovely Girlfriend From Work V. Taking Dad for Early Pint battle Boyf has playing out in his gorgeous head then that will be the cherry on the cake!

PS I've been stuck with Foot Perv so much this week I even dreamed about him! In the dream, I was throwing a party and somebody brought him, so he knew where I lived. Then, in the middle of the night, I went downstairs into the living room and he was staring in through the windows, not at me, but at the Christmas decorations we had up. He was just doing this horrible shark-eye glassy stare that he actually does in real life, but it was terrifying, so I called the police - in my dream - and told them there was a weirdo hanging around outside my house! Potter finds this hilarious, but I think I may need mental help...

Seeing Red

Happy Valentines Day to one and all! Guess where I am right now? In the arms of Jake Gyllenhaal, drinking champagne and licking ice cream off body parts I hear you cry? Nope, guess again: in work on a late night shift until 9 o'clock with none other than the foot pervert! Do Valentines get any better than this?

God willing, I will have a whole hour with the lovely Boyf before I have to go to bed and catch Z's so I'm fit to return to this place once again in the morning. And what is my first job in the morning? Counter with Foot Perv! Joy!

Sorry, it helps to whine. Hope ya'll are having more fun than me!

One Year Well Spent!

This seems to be the traditional way of marking a years worth of prattle, so here are my top 5 posts:

1. The One

2. Lust for Glorious

3. Tissues & Issues

4. How You Doin'

5. Are lassos involved at any point? This is very recent but I had to include at least one guest-spot from Mr. Silverknife. So in joint position: Being 23, merely to note my now defunct equation, Sienna Miller @ 23 + Jude Law = All Good.

Thanks for a swell ride!

Why, Blog?

Well, tomorrow marks a year since I started blogging, and I have to ask the inevitable question: what does anyone get out of blogging? You know, unless you're some sort of time-defying, shape-shifting genius that can make a career out of it. Is it worth it? Or, and to honour the occasion, should I vow to shut the hell up and leave you guys in peace for the next blogging year?

My conclusion is that blogging is really its own reward. I think everyone does it for different reasons, but I simply treat my blog as an online diary, somewhere to write about my thoughts and experiences so's I can look back on them and cringe with embarrassment, jump for joy, or ask why did I wear that? It's also a place to exercise my (lack of) writing skillz, since when I started my writing journal I wrote so formally from writing academic stuff, and I really think this has helped me to loosen up my style. And really, I think it's good to have a reflective space to go to and think about your life and the world (oops, don't know how that got in there) - a form of meditation if you will. Plus, you know, it's just kinda fun.

Are lassos involved at any point?

Conversation on a Monday Afternoon

Chica says: yeah? sorry i just got distracted by a clip of jake g and heath ledger snogging *swoon*
Guillermo says: i watched that last night... asscrack fountain
Chica says: dont tell me anything i really need to see it!
Chica says: oh my god that is the sexiest freakin thing i have ever seen
Guillermo says: lol
Guillermo says: boys kissing each other?
Chica says: i know, im just too messed up arent i? i think it's the jake factor
Chica says: whoa... thats hot
Chica says: who did you watch it with?
Guillermo says: well boys like seeing girls kiss each other...
Guillermo says: shall i leave you to collect your thoughts for a few minutes ?
Chica says: i asked u a normal question somewhere in there
Guillermo says: hehe
Guillermo says: i watched it with (friends)
Chica says: *sigh*

LATER...

Guillermo says: i'll talk to you about the film once you've seen it... there's stuff i keep wanting to say
Chica says: i cant believe i havent seen it
Guillermo says: it's by ang lee so it's well slow going
Chica says: yeah i heard that
Chica says: good cinematography?
Guillermo says: the picture was a bit fuzzy on the download but it was well shot
Chica says: thats what im going for, see
Guillermo says: not to see jake penetrate another man?
Chica says: hehe
Chica says: mmmm penetrate
Guillermo says: this conversation is so not suitable for work

Happy Mondays

I got my boyfriend to call in sick for me this morning. Then I switched my computer on and was greeted by this little snippet of information from MSN News. Ahem. Of particular interest:

"The findings threw up a couple of gender-related anomalies. While men and women will take an average of nine "sickies" a year, female workers believe they could get away with taking twice as many days off than their male colleagues.

The survey also found that while a cowardly 17 percent of workers would get someone else to call in sick on their behalf, 28 percent opted for the tried and tested cough and splutter phone call.

As for regional variations workers in the northern city of Liverpool admitted to taking on average an extra 13 days a year off compared with a mere three days for Londoners."

Hmpf. My uncle has never had an unscheduled day off in the past 15 years! He's getting an award. Yeah, do it for Liverpool Uncle Elvis!! While I sip this tea and listen to the soothing sounds of KT Tunstall...

...I really hope my boss didn't read that!

Blonde Ambition

I'm calling in sick tomorrow (technically today since it's after midnight and I'd usually be getting up in like, five hours time) so I thought I'd make a plan for what to do with the couple of free days ahead. I am legitimately feeling cack, but I could try and make some use of the time off. Therefore, I tentatively propose to organise my wardrobe, give half my clothes to charidee, strip the wallpaper in the bedroom, redecorate it entirely, box up all my crap and store it in the attic, buy some art, go for coffee, shop for some skinny jeans, a smart blouse I saw in Zara, the perfect pair of ruby slippers, and some work clothes, listen to lots of music, watch a couple of DVDs, finish my dissertation, walk the dog, bring Peace to all of humankind, go grocery shopping and buy lots of yummy food to cook for Boyf - realising in the process that I in fact have the talents of Nigella Lawson, buy a Valentines card, start a best selling novel or else discover a wildly successful career can be had sitting in bed eating chocolates and reciting my thoughts over a big pink diamante telephone to a stenographer, remember to put the rubbish bin at the end of the path on Friday, and find the Missing Link. It's my job holds me back, see.

I also found these old quotes I meant to post:

Me: If you’re gonna tell me how to make toast I will punch you in the face.

Dad: Did you cry when you fell over?
Angelica: I just got up and said “ow.”

And more recently:

Lila: (shouting loudly at the reception desk) This is a student announcement, Joe Bloggs has not had sex this year. I repeat, Joe Bloggs has not had sex this year!

Heal Over

Today I am mostly: feeling melancholic. I don't know, I'm having one of those Where Is My Life Going? days. I'm still a bit under the weather so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm enjoying a lazy weekend; I just had a nice long bath while listening to music, and yesterday I watched movies in bed all day. I think I developed a crush on Hugh Jackman somewhere between X-Men and X2, probably all that shirtless action and tortured soul bit.

It's weird, whenever I stop to think there's a danger that I get like this. I just feel like I should be somewhere by now. Maybe I should pack in the indulgent weekends and get writing, but it kind of feels pointless. At school and stuff everyone acted like I had so much potential, and then nothing happened. People say I'm doing really well for where I came from, and look at what other people I grew up with are doing, but I don't think you should measure success or happiness by what other people are doing or where you came from.

The family stuff has been bugging me too. I have plenty of things to be happy about though, particularly the Boyf. People can search all their lives for what we have and never even get close, and I feel really lucky to have him. So even though I get a little introspective and self absorbed in my ramblings from time to time, I really do count my blessings.

Sheesh, this post has a lot of the letter "I"! *Cringe*

Peace out yo! (For David :P)

Eau de Bertolli

It's lunch time on a Friday. I should be excited with the anticipation of the end of the working week and a fabulous host of weekend activities to look forward to, but I'm sick! I'm sniffling through the day, looking like crap and trying very hard not to be monosyllabic. I'm just going to have a moan for a bit. Scroll down and indulge in some Hoff instead if you wish.

I've hardly slept all week. I keep waking up with a fright at all hours through the night (3:36, 4:07, 5:55, 6:28, etc. according to the glaring red digits of my alarm clock) and looking at the clock thinking that I will be late for work. Why is this happening? I've been late like, twice since I started, so it's not like it's something to worry about. I also had a meeting with my manager yesterday, and my six month probationary period is finally up at work, so I get a pay rise! And then another one in April! But back to the hollerin' and a-fussin'. This morning I was in such a state of zombification that I forgot to put the lid on my tub of yummy tomatoey pasta, and I'm afraid the flimsy layer of cling film that was present was not up to the job of saving the contents of my handbag! I had to scrape the sauce off everything at first break; it is not a pretty sight. It was a yummy lunch, not quite worth the drama, but it would have been worse if my bag had leaked too - the coat I am wearing today is beige. The horror! The horror!

Anyhoo. Tomorrow morning, if I feel a bit perkier than I do right now, Boyf and I are going to an antiques fair at St. George's Hall, followed by coffee and cake of some sort, and a little light shopping. If I just focus on that maybe I can forget about the pasta sauce smell emanating from my handbag. Honestly, it's quite tiring being this glamorous you know!

Ooga Chakka

This has been featured on two of the blogs I frequent recently, including the massively popular Go Fug Yourself, so it's hardly new, but for anyone who missed it: embrace thy love for the Hoff!

Chicken Run

I cannot believe that I am back in work, as of yesterday. I'm gutted I took those days off to study now that Valentines is coming up and I have no leave! I'm meant to be working late on the 14th! Hmmm, who can I ask to swap? I will be so gutted if I spend Valentines behind this bloody counter instead of tucked up with my honey *sulk*

I had such a good time when I was off though, despite the fact I had to spend much of it reading literary theory! I am so looking for a Flexi Time job when I get this dissertation in! Just imagine, not having to get up in the middle of the night!

I bought a couple more movies off Play to assuage the pain of returning to work: Meet the Fockers, X Men, X2, and The Interpreter. Potter has borrowed Identity as there is actually a film he has not seen! You can ask Potter about the most obscure film and he's usually seen it. Which reminds me, I really want to go to the movies this week but I don't know what to see. Boyf won't go see a film about gay cowboys, you know, in case anyone finds out, and MJ already went to see it with Spanky, the traitor! I kind of don't want to spend three hours watching King Kong, so I'm considering Just Like Heaven. It's Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo, and it's by the people who brought you Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, a fact which will make some cheer and others vomit into the nearest receptacle. Maybe if I threaten Boyf with Just Like Heaven, he'll take me to see the gay cowboys...

Oh, and a joke for MJ (I'll show you my underwear later... that's not the joke):

Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?
A. Because he had his willy stuck in the chicken!