The Freaks Are Out

Doctors surgeries can be very amusing places. It's the place to go if you feel like spending the morning with a menagerie of, shall we say, 'characters', all intent on discussing their life stories, travel arrangements, hospital records, and long standing feud with the receptionist in front of an audience averting its gaze lest they stumble into eye contact, an obligatory smile, and then bam, a conversation has been initiated with a lunatic: You find yourself enquiring about persistent corns and balking back the urge to ask if they've been prescribed anything for their halitosis or that bad case of verbal diarrhoea... um, for example. My favourite this morning was a woman who repeated an indignant cry of "I've been up since 8 o'clock!" as if she was saying "I was at Dunkirk!" when she was told she would have to wait for an emergency appointment. (It was 10 AM.)

I forgot to tell you yesterday that somebody stole my 7 year old niece's packed lunch from her school! They found out the culprit was a 14 year old lad and his mother. If it's not nailed down, I tell you... No scouse jokes please!