Saturday Night Excess

Oh My Lord. I was horrendously drunk last night. I was so drunk I couldn't get my own boots off and collapsed into bed wearing one of them. Boyf dragged me up and into the bathroom, where I lay and cried with my head in a bucket, throwing up. MJ undressed me and put me into my pyjamas. I tried to protest, "I'm not wearing a bra," but he said he wouldn't look and sent the Boyf out of the room which I thought was rather matronly of him :P The pyjamas he put on me were a pair I'd put to one side to throw out because they had big tears in the back like I'd been swiped at by a breed of large feline. He clipped my hair back in a random fashion and, when I was ready, led me slowly back to bed, walking in front of me, my arms around his waist.

I was wasted, completely trashed. And I wouldn't mind but I hadn't even drank that much. I must have had about six drinks, although I did mix them, and I have never ever been so drunk before in my life. I know it's regarded as rather a rite of passage, but I've never actually been sick before after a night out. And if I start feeling drunk, I usually slow right down or switch to water because I HATE feeling drunk and looking that unattractive.

I didn't realise I was that drunk until the last half-drink I managed, a Reef in the Fab Cafe. I thought I was merely happy. I had been laughing like a lunatic all night and dancing like one too. The source of such merriment? Himself. I sent him a text message. Before a drink had passed my lips. I'm still rather delirious about it.

At around ten to eight my Uncle Yank sent me a joke that reminded me of Himself, and so I spontaneously forwarded it on to him and signed it with my name and a kiss!

Then I did a funny little dance and got nervous about whether I should've sent it or not.

In the car on the way into town, I got a reply: Chica (my surname)? X

Chica: (surname's) the one. Mate just sent me that joke and I thought of you! Have a good night! x

It could have ended there right? I'm friendly but I give him an out at the end with the general tone of finality.

Himself: Thanks. That theme has been my topic of the week. Gonna go Mosquito again tonight. No surprise there. Are you staying in with the hubby tonight?

C: Nope I am off out to town. Might meet up with Heidi later and go cruising for boys. Where would the Mozzie be without you! Have fun! x

Again with the finality, right? He could just leave it there perfectly politely. But...

H: Excellent. (surname) is on the town. Who you out with? You should come to Moz so you can report back to 'Muffin.

(!)

C: I'm not sure. Maybe next week. I'm not in my Mozzie best! Rocking the skinny jeans tonight. Wouldn't want to scare the poor lamb, think it's best if he goes in blind! x

H: Cool. Well it would be nice to see you around my way tonight. Skinny jeans will be ok. Just get in touch if you fancy it. If not, hope you have a lovely night x

First of all, how lovely is he? I'm practically orgasmic at this point. Second of all, he uses predictive text. And thirdly, oh fuck. I'm on a night out with the Boyf and I've been invited to a club by the guy whose pants I've been trying to get into for the last two or three weeks. What would Jesus do?

I proceeded to get swiftly drunk and text everyone I knew about whether to go to Mosquito or not. In the end, Boyf suggested going because my texting was rather indiscreet (drunk, remember?) so I had to tell him that we had been invited to Mosquito by a workmate. But the first time we passed it there was a queue outside. Boyf does not do queues to get in places, ever. I was secretly glad but sick with excitement at the same time. After a drink in Mathew Street, we decided to head back to the other side of town, and when we passed Mosquito, Boyf tried his luck at the door. Apparently, you needed tickets. Boyf dropped Himself's name and the woman on the door looked kind of impressed and said: "He's already gone down." Boyf wanted me to ring him to get us in (he could've, he's well connected) but I thought that would be WAY too weird and suggested meeting Heidi at the Fab Cafe instead.

I failed to meet Heidi because she went home early but we continued to text each other until I was too drunk to read them. I'm still drunk now. I reserve the right to deny all this in a few hours time. Enjoy it while you can!

In a word: Eek!