Oops I Did It Again

Christ on a bike. William H. Macy. And other such expletives. I don't think romantic events have ever snowballed quite so quickly for me before. Usually it takes bloody months before I'm in this sort of a mess after a nonchalant spot of flirting on my part. Let me spell out the past week or so: last Tuesday, work-related favour, last Thursday, Chunky Kit Kat and number, this Tuesday bracelet, today phone calls and offer of date.

But wait, step back a sec, I haven't told you about the bracelet. When Mybug came and found me on my break on Tuesday, he was acting all shifty, and asked me to put out my hands and close my eyes. Well, I've fallen for that one far too many times and we all know that that's where babies come from, so I was understandably hesitant. Curiosity won out in the end and while my eyes were closed he wrapped a piece of paper around my wrist (I had actually expected him to shove the paper down my cleavage and run off laughing, guess that's what seven years with the Boyf does to you!) That's when I kind of had an inkling, and sure enough, just before I left work at 9, he presented me with like a beaded bracelet affair, that he had made. (The paper was for measurement purposes.)

My response was something like this, and it may help if you imagine a voice gabbling at warp speed and suffering the effects of helium: "What is this? What is it, what it is, what's it for, why? How come? What are you being so nice for? Oh... Thanks!"

Yeah, I am so smooth, right?

So, I get into this debate about how to tell him in no uncertain terms about Boyf with certain representatives of the male species. Eventually, after taking a few widely different opinions - curiously, boys have very varying ideas about how they'd like to be handled in the same situation, in fact if I followed one guys advice I would have to move to Outer Mongolia and become a nun - I decided that the opinion I liked best was the one that allowed me to be a coward and text him to say hi and thanks and then in a secondary text, casually add: you do know I've got a boyfriend?

That was the plan. Unfortunately, nobody briefed Mybug of the plan and so he decided to call me while I was sitting next to my boyfriend and ask me out on Friday. It pains me to say, and I really mean pains me, that I gave him a feeble "I'll let you know." I kind of have the feeling that he's going to find out from Lila somehow tonight, don't ask me why.

WTF?

Any suggestions as to my next move would be appreciated. Maybe I could hit him over the head with an old shoe for a bit? Or start wearing a T-shirt that says MY BOYFRIEND IS AWAY AT THE WEEKEND. No mixed signals there at all!

Help.