"Kipper Tie. WHITE!"

Elspeth has left the building!

Our party last night included myself, Weezer, Lila, Hoggle, Pete Burns, P.Diddy, Foot Perv, and many more people I've not thought up pseudonyms for yet. Elspeth did not invite Foot Perv, but he got ready and followed us anyway. This time he didn't stand and watch us all do our make up in the Staff Room though, so maybe he's learning.

We went straight from work (which means no food in my hungry belly!) to Labinskys for cocktails, which is a cheap awful dive in Mathew Street. There were a bunch of Geordie lads on a stag do yelling in there. I assume it was a stag do because one of them was wearing a pink ballerina costume and pink wellington boots, but perhaps that is the usual Friday night attire for him. I had two cocktails to Burns' six plus a glass of wine. Weezer told me all about her break up with icky 70s-thinks-he's-a-pimp. Personally, I think she's had a lucky escape but I didn't tell her that - didn't think actually hun I thought he was a prick would really come across as sympathetic!

Then we walked across town to Jacaranda and it seems Big Brother's Pete has made Tourette's trendy because during the walk Lila explained that she thinks she might have a mild form of it related to her OCD. She then demonstrated this by shouting "Kipper tie. WHITE!" at a bloke walking past us in a black suit and shirt and said white tie, a style I like to refer to as Gareth Gates.

By the time we were finished in Jacaranda, Elspeth was well and truly drunk, explaining how she judged people straight away and always held grudges, and recounting the different ways she had been introduced to us all. (Potter: "He looks weird but he's nice.") On the way to Korova we nipped into Baa Baa for a cheeky Dave, then settled into a booth, where Weezer repeated the story of the offending Mr. Pimp, Lila danced solo at the head of the table, and Elspeth got the worst chat up line in history: how would you rate my jacket out of ten? The rest of the gang had deserted us by this point, so we escaped bad chat up line man and moved out to Heebie Jeebies, while Lila removed the plasters from her feet and stuck them to her face.

We got there, hit the dance floor, fought our way to the bar, then danced some more until Elspeth was looking a bit worse for wear and I rang the Boyf to pick us up. Lila is physically unable to return home on a night out before 5 am, and so Weezer stayed to keep her company. (The real reason for mine and Elspeth's early departure may be explained by our choice of footwear - 3 inch stiletto heels.) On our way to arranged meeting point with Boyf, Elspeth and I were accosted by foreign men asking the nice English girls to show us their 'baps', and a solitary drunk man shouting 'eh girls, eh girls' repeatedly at us from across the road. Ahhh, Friday nights wandering through town without male company, I don't miss it!

When I got home I realised - upon seeing the empty box on my dresser (oh okay, slung on my unmade bed) - that I had lost the gold bracelet my sister gave me when I graduated during the course of the night. I am absolutely gutted and my mum is gonna kill me! But I also had parcels waiting for me, and am delighted to report that I have finally found the perfect pair of skinny jeans! After a worryingly protracted search, the skinnies are mine! Just when fashion mags are saying they're going out of fashion... typical!

From the Mouths of Babes

"Danny DeVito I love your work!"

There are a million reasons why I love MJ. Here are a few of them.

MJ on loyalty: "I don't watch Dezzie Housewives. It's a rip-off Sex and the City."

MJ on older men: "He's 35! That's 180 in gay years."

Non-smoker MJ on the FA Cup Final: "I tried to stick a box of fags in my mouth and light it."

MJ will kill me for posting this: "I'm so tired I can't be bothered wanking... Where's Paul?"

She's Gotta Have It

Tomorrow is Elspeth's leaving do, and if ever I encountered a marvelous excuse to fritter away money on a new outfit that is it. I decided that, since I am stuck in work while the shops are open, I'd order some stuff online, and merrily tapped my way through the aisles of Miss Selfridge, Topshop, and River Island looking for something suitable.

Well the only thing I could find was a rather nice green stripey top from RI, with a string of pearls and butterfly brooch attached, so I ordered that to wear with jeans, and, while I was there, ordered a gorgeous black strapless puffball dress with a cream ribbon sash, and an acid yellow handbag.

Then I thought, hmmm, I could really do with some skinny jeans to pair with that top, then maybe I could wear my boots? So I had a look on Topshop and found some skinny jeans I had tried on in the past and ummed and ahhhed over so long I gave up and put them back on the rail, and I bought them. I also checked out Miss Selfridge, because if you buy from Topshop or Miss S they combine the order so you only have to pay postage once - little tip that - and I picked out a red polka dot top. Great, I thought. I even paid extra for 48 hour delivery so I'd have them (I thought) optimistically by Thursday, and at least by Friday.

However, I didn't bank on the fact that if you order after noon you may as well add another day to that delivery estimate, which would take me to Friday/Saturday, oh and they don't usually deliver on weekends, then there's the bank holiday, so I probably won't have them until Tuesday! So, I spent about £150 and I still have nothing to wear tomorrow!

Really, I need to try and leg it around the shops after work don't I? Overspending isn't so bad if it's an emergency...

"Wonka!"

Although this isn't the greatest picture to illustrate it, I simply must point out that Big Brother's Pete is the absolute double of Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in Dawn's wig!

"Is that... lemonade?!"

It's uncanny!

Sweet Tooth

Um, like how is it Monday again? I blinked and missed the weekend. Here is the round up.

Friday was Mr. Mybug's last day everybody (also read about him here, here, and here! I'm obsessed!) So, I picked up some cream cakes for him and a co-worker who hasn't asked me out and therefore hasn't technically earned cream cake points off me yet but, meh, I was feeling generous! He came in a little late, so when I was running out at five I told him they were in the fridge and he tried to hug me and I went awkward and rigid and laughed nervously, and my hair totally smelled like his cologne all night. (Me, have a crush, are you Tom-Cruise-crazy?) Today, when I came into work, I noticed he'd left a little goodbye note on the stats sheets for everyone circled in a big red love heart.

Saturday, we went to see The Buddy Holly Story and it was pretty cool, the cast was wicked, and we went for a Mexican beforehand at the Tavern Co. in Queens Square. I had this gorgeous starter I love - halloumi fingers in breadcrumbs with red onion chutney - yum! I left half my meal because I was stuffed though.

Sunday was really wet and rainy and not at all conducive to the bike ride we had planned, so we had a really lazy day. Perhaps as a consequence of such utter sloth, I totally couldn't sleep last night. I've had about four hours kip and I look dreadful. To make matters worse, Mr. Mybug is somewhere in the building (he still studies here) and I'm having to dodge him because I look like an extra from Night of the Living Dead.

Tonight I am mostly looking forward to going home, and SLEEP. (And Big Brother!)

Through the Looking Glass

Last night saw Big Brother's opening extravaganza, and we settled down to enjoy the older sibling of trashy TV in eager anticipation.

Well, what can I say? I, like Wondy, found myself tiring of the old "pick me cos I'm just so unbelievably crazy and like, mad" routine. Particularly Bonnie's "I'm everything and... Everything." How articulate! I just can't believe you can get on the show by saying stuff like that. I realise that "Bonner" might have hidden depths and startle us by being the best character ever for BB, since you can't really tell much about a person from those taped auditions they show. But I found myself praying for at least one normal person to go in. I'm already hoping the Golden Ticket winner will just be an Average Joe or Josephine. As for Mikey - why oh why does the bloke have to be scouse! Talk about letting the side down.

Here are my initial reactions to some of the housemates:

Pete: I predict that he will turn out to be the sanest person in the house and maddeningly endearing. This is based solely on an exchange between him and a couple of the girls I saw in which he said he just wanted to get into his jim jams.

Nikki: Jimmy Krankie double. Jimmy Krankie in bunny ears no less *shudder* And 24?? Shit! Do I look that old?!

Lea: What has the woman done to herself? She looks about twice her age. I didn't think she deserved all the booing though.

Shahbaz: I just want to say his name over and over again. How brilliant! Loved his reactions to the other housemates, however his repetition of "look at you!" in high pitched Glasweigan tones at all the girls teetered on boring after about twenty minutes, so if that's anything to go by he could be very annoying. Plus, he's a total spaghetti arms - space invader much?

George: Interesting to see how he copes/integrates with the group as he was a bit standoffish. Seemed as though he was looking down his nose at everyone, though I could be jumping to conclusions because he's so posh.

Bonnie: Everything and everything. Bought her entrance outfit off Bianca's old store in Albert Square. Rockin' it Vicky Pollard stylee.

Sezer: Should be renamed Mr. Dog... only very committed Eddie Izzard fans will get that... But did provide my highlight of the night when Davina said if he was an animal he'd be a tiger, rare, powerful, etc. Boyf responded: "I'll say he'd be rare if he was a tiger, he'd be bald, he shaves his f*cking arse!"

Glyn: Oh deary deary deary me. Put it all away sunshine. Another shining moment was when he confided that he didn't think people at school liked him. Why? Because they threw rocks at him. Quite a clue.

Dawn: The scary one who doesn't like people because they're all bastards. Worryingly, she was the one I liked most from her audition tape. Then she had to go and spoil it by saying she'd like to be reincarnated as Hitler.

Mikey: Very likely a tosser.

I can't wait for tonight's installment!

Stickin' it to The Man

Yesterday I was very very naughty. I got out of bed at 7 am. I went into the bathroom and showered. Then I went back into my bedroom to get dressed and found Boyf still in bed asleep. So I crawled back in bed with him and told him to call his boss and get the day off. Then I set my alarm for half eight, rang my boss and told her I had to take emergency leave because of pressing babysitting duties. I hung up the phone, snuggled into the duvet and slept until twelve thirty!

How effing rock 'n' roll am I?

Didn't do anything particularly rewarding with the day, except I did send off for a couple of job applications and drove a Land Rover Discovery around the car park of a Showcase Cinema - practicing y'see. I haven't drove since I passed my test over two years ago, and Boyf had a hire car for the day, which I'm allowed to stall and scratch and wear the break pads out on as much as I jolly well like. Except I didn't do any of that stuff and Boyf was impressed with my road skills. Or at least my empty car park skills.

Today, I applied for a promotion at work. Totally won't get it and dunno if I even want it, but thought I might aswell put my name in the hat. Whatever! Que Sera and all that shizz.

I'm finding working with Studmuffin quite hilarious as he is the gayest straight man ever. The man describes himself as 'camper than Butlins' but is a total horn dog, perving on every good looking female student that crosses his path. I have been teasing him mercilessly about these little booklets he makes for every job he does. Dude keeps a diary of how busy the library counter gets! I am planning on annoying him by writing complete nonsense in this report book he's made for the task we're on together - Chase. I've also threatened to drop it in the paper shredder when he's off next week. I just had a little chat to him on MSN since he is on his late night in work with the Foot Perv.

Studmuffin: hold on I just want to move to your pc so I can see the counter.
Chica: That's the best pc - prime position
Studmuffin: yes, and I have the pleasure of knowing your little bum's just been here
Chica: perv
Studmuffin: says you
Studmuffin: "oooh whats Mybug wearing"
Chica: lol
Studmuffin: Black t-shirt and jeans by the way
Chica: red belt?
Studmuffin: cant tell
Chica: he's looking quite blonde these days
Studmuffin: yes red belt
Chica: how sad am i!
Studmuffin: behave yourself Mrs. Robinson!
Studmuffin: we make a good team on Chase, Cliff Richard and Mrs. Robinson
Chica: we're an ideal partnership
Chica: nobody else would have laughed at my 'chase me, chase me' joke :P

Prime

Okay, so yesterday I find out that Mr. Mybug is nineteen.

It's just wrong! So wrong! Although...

"Well, it all started with a Chunky Kit Kat..."

Um, should I be pleased that I can still pull nineteen year olds or set fire to my suspenders because I'm old enough to be his Mrs. Robinson?

Can we take a moment to reflect upon the title of his fave book?

Dear Abby,

I have spent the past few months flirting quite outrageously with a Dear Teen-Ager. Arrest me now before I touch him,

Best,

Hand that rocks the cradle-snatcher, Liverpool

Dear Teen-Ager

On a lovely sunny Tuesday, what can be more fitting than an excerpt from Mr. Mybug's favourite book in the library, Dear Abby's Dear Teen-Ager?

"I'm Not 'Stacked'"

Girls who are generously endowed can well be proud. But the source of their pride suggests problems. Be glad you don't have them.

I know what you're thinking: "Abby, you've flipped! Being stacked gets attention from boys!"

Well, I admit it: being stacked will make a girl sought after and whistled at. It provokes a boy's interest. But the kind of interest it provokes may be so darned healthy that it's unhealthy! Wolves and nogoodniks looking for pure sex will be cluttering up your doorstep, asking for dates. This is the kind of attention a girl can well do without!

- Van Buren, Abigail. Dear Teen- Ager, (London: The World's Work, 1961) p.127

Scouse House

Boyf just received a phonecall from his mother. They're watching the match in their house too. Her message was: Bring some lager around for your dad, his nerves are gone!

STEVE GERRARD, GERRARD,
HE'LL PASS THE BALL FORTY YARDS,
HE'S BIG AND HE'S FUCKING HARD!
STEVE GERRARD, GERRARD!
- MJ singing to anyone who dares to call us on the phone

EDIT: You can read about our stupendous victory here. Or, you can read my favourite and most genius fugging so far this month here. Something for everyone!

A Woman's Right to Shoes

A quick mid-match post. Am currently watching Liverpool v. West Ham with Boyf, and am obviously enthralled! But since I am supporting the reds, what better purchase to make today than this!

Hello Lover!

Yes, perhaps they're a bit tacky. And we all know what red shoes denote in a woman according to popular belief. But I say they're gorgeous! They're quite daring for me, so I'll blame the sun that beat down upon me as I shopped on my lunch hour on Thursday. When I got back to work, the girls drooled over them, with Sassy declaring me a "dirty ticket!" They provoked much innuendo to entertain us on our second break, including:

Sassy: What'll you wear them with?

Me: A smile!

Me: I might wear them tomorrow.

Crunchie: Why, are you going out?

Me: No.

Crunchie: No, she's staying in! Nice one!

I'll also blame the sun for the fact that I bought the wrong size. I tried them in a hurry, they were slightly tight, but I thought, ah, these sort of shoes just aren't meant to be comfortable! So, I had to go back and get the next size up today. For some reason, Boyf refused to take them back for me on Friday on his way to pick me up from work? I've not the foggiest why a heterosexual man - a builder, no less! - would balk at the idea of returning a pair of red patent leather stilettos and requesting a bigger size, but there you go! I had planned to take these babies out on the town on Friday night after work, but when they didn't fit, I cancelled all such plans as pointless! Guillermo reacted to this revelation with something like incredulity:

Guillermo: And you were trying to convince me that you could hack an all-nighter?

Chica: I could if I had the right shoes.

Come on you Reds!

Chica Makes Boys Cry

Act Three, in which Chica is an evil wench, and Mr. Mybug is a sweetheart. (This is such a badly written post, but this stuff is all still a jumble in my little brain, forgive me!) After my last post, I partook in this spate of texting with Mybug.

Him: Hey didnt know you had a bf so feel a bit of a goof x apologies in advance for bright red face next time i see you

Me: no worries hun, didnt wanna say over phone, was gonna tell u face to face, thought u knew til yest. did Lila say? sorry luv! if was single u know i would! x

Him: Might jus have to turn gay and look for a guy - not sure if funny attractive single girls arent just a modern day myth X

Like my oh-so-casual tone there? I got the full story the next day from Lila. It transpires that, as I suspected, she saved me from having to tell Mybug about Boyf. While chatting with her, he said, "Chica said to say hi," which prompted lots of questions from Lila and she started teasing him asking what was going on, culminating in her joking: "She's a married woman you know!"

According to Lila, his face fell, his eyes filled up with tears! "Really?" he asked. She said she thought he knew, and that she didn't realise he liked me. He put his head on her shoulder and said "Oh no, I'm going to cry," made his excuses and left!

...Gobsmacked! As was Lila, who didn't know anything about the Mybug stuff and so was totally freaked out. This all came out on Thursday after I asked Elspeth if she'd spoken to Mybug about it and then Lila came over and spilled the beans. Soon Studmuffin's ears pricked up, sensing gossip, and he ran over to get the gory details too.

I was therefore quite worried about seeing him tonight when he came in at 5. This must have been quite apparent on my face because all the girls kept asking me whether I'd seen him. Unfortunately, I was on reception so he'd have to walk right past me and I was constantly on pins from 4 o'clock. I typed this to Guillermo on MSN and in the same instant the phone rang. One of the other shelvers was on the line asking for me and wondering if Mybug had turned up yet!

He eventually turned up late, but luckily I was lingering with Studmuffin. I tried a casual "Hello luv," then asked to have a quick word with him. I began my little pre-prepared speech but started laughing and had to admit to being embarrassed. He said, "If it helps, I'm drunk," then I looked at him properly and realised that he totally was! Puffy face, red-rimmed eyes. I just said that I hoped there were no hard feelings and that we could still have a chat and a laugh and he said of course, but then went into this strange nervous little ramble about not being a stress-head.

I thought 'Oh well, I've done my best' and that was that. I really wanted to be able to stay on good terms with him because he's leaving next week and I didn't want to end things on a bad note, but you can't always control these things. I left feeling slightly dejected but with an overriding sense of stoic resignation.

Then, at about eight o'clock I checked my phone and had another surprising message from Mybug.

Him: Aww dont be nervous about lil ol me. I liked talking to you an think your dead pretty. Promise im not a psycho stalker x an if u ever wanna banter over a cup of tea youve got my number

...Is it just me or has that turned out rather well?!

I am so tempting fate right there.

Oops I Did It Again

Christ on a bike. William H. Macy. And other such expletives. I don't think romantic events have ever snowballed quite so quickly for me before. Usually it takes bloody months before I'm in this sort of a mess after a nonchalant spot of flirting on my part. Let me spell out the past week or so: last Tuesday, work-related favour, last Thursday, Chunky Kit Kat and number, this Tuesday bracelet, today phone calls and offer of date.

But wait, step back a sec, I haven't told you about the bracelet. When Mybug came and found me on my break on Tuesday, he was acting all shifty, and asked me to put out my hands and close my eyes. Well, I've fallen for that one far too many times and we all know that that's where babies come from, so I was understandably hesitant. Curiosity won out in the end and while my eyes were closed he wrapped a piece of paper around my wrist (I had actually expected him to shove the paper down my cleavage and run off laughing, guess that's what seven years with the Boyf does to you!) That's when I kind of had an inkling, and sure enough, just before I left work at 9, he presented me with like a beaded bracelet affair, that he had made. (The paper was for measurement purposes.)

My response was something like this, and it may help if you imagine a voice gabbling at warp speed and suffering the effects of helium: "What is this? What is it, what it is, what's it for, why? How come? What are you being so nice for? Oh... Thanks!"

Yeah, I am so smooth, right?

So, I get into this debate about how to tell him in no uncertain terms about Boyf with certain representatives of the male species. Eventually, after taking a few widely different opinions - curiously, boys have very varying ideas about how they'd like to be handled in the same situation, in fact if I followed one guys advice I would have to move to Outer Mongolia and become a nun - I decided that the opinion I liked best was the one that allowed me to be a coward and text him to say hi and thanks and then in a secondary text, casually add: you do know I've got a boyfriend?

That was the plan. Unfortunately, nobody briefed Mybug of the plan and so he decided to call me while I was sitting next to my boyfriend and ask me out on Friday. It pains me to say, and I really mean pains me, that I gave him a feeble "I'll let you know." I kind of have the feeling that he's going to find out from Lila somehow tonight, don't ask me why.

WTF?

Any suggestions as to my next move would be appreciated. Maybe I could hit him over the head with an old shoe for a bit? Or start wearing a T-shirt that says MY BOYFRIEND IS AWAY AT THE WEEKEND. No mixed signals there at all!

Help.

Reasons to be Cheerful

Just to eradicate any doubt left in your minds as to my total lack of credibility, here are a few things I'm looking forward to this month:

May 12 - Dreamfall released, yes, I'm a geek! Deal with it. In my defence, they got to me when I was young, playing Robocop on my Commodore 64 with my pops.

May 18 - Big Brother 7! Omigod! *funky chicken*

May 19 - The Da Vinci Code finally hits the cinema. (And Tink has her Prom, for which she has purchased a dress for £250!)

May 20 - The Buddy Holly Story comes to the Empire Theatre, I feel a 50s theme night coming on...

May 29 - Bank Holiday Monday! A lie in on a Monday is always worth celebrating.

May 30 - The Futureheads at the Liverpool Academy, am especially looking forward to A Picture of Dorian Gray. Zoot!

Pale & Interesting?

Some vanity themed posts to follow. Forgive me, I know these are like tremendously insignificant but a girl's got to gripe! Firstly, can we just acknowledge the fact that it is coming up to summer and despite the fact that it was lovely and warm last week I was still swathed in jeans and cardigans for work. Had I not had shall we say, an "incident", with a bottle of Johnson's Holiday Skin, then I would have broken out the pretty blouses and maybe even a knee length skirt (but never the open toe sandals - Foot Perv y'see, gotta keep one step ahead of that sucker!)

So, as I was saying, summer is almost here, it's nearly time to get your bits out, and mine are looking decidedly on the wan side. After hearing many good things about such products, I went out and bought some Johnson's in the hopes of getting a lovely natural tan rather than following the shade of satsuma trend that's swept the locality I live in for the past ten years or so. But... I think I may have failed miserably when it comes to application. My 'tan' is a bit, well... patchy. And it smells a bit like lard. Hot, right?

The slightly disastrous effects of my misapplication have more or less faded by now, so I ironed a load of cap sleeved tops and light shirts for work this week - and today, it rained!

Mybug

So there's this guy at work - he's a temp, and he only does lates - we'll call Mr. Mybug. For the past couple of months Mr. Mybug has been getting rather flirty, but since he seems to be on constant flirt mode and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only girl receiving his attentions, I assumed I'd be safe to take the mick.

He's not the smoothest of characters (when I told him of my £9 glass of Baileys, he suggested that it was because the bar staff thought I was a rich model - aw, bless! He's a lot to learn!) but I do find him quite endearing (maybe because despite how preposterous it is, he tells me I look like a model? :P) Anyway, this Tuesday, cos it was so crazy in work, we didn't manage to get all the jobs finished. So, when I was on my break he came and had a natter with me at one of the first floor computers, and I managed to (equally poorly, I feel compelled to add) sweet talk Mybug into offering to do one of the jobs for us if he got time. In the morning, when I arrived at work, I noticed that he actually had. For this favour, I bought him a Chunky Kit Kat on Thursday, and opened up a whole new can of worms. (Who knew Chunky Kit Kat's opened the gateway to Love?) So I go back up to the first floor computers for my break again on Thursday, and he is coincidentally clearing up around the desk where I like to sit. He teased me about this for a bit, then disappeared, reappearing a few minutes later with a piece of folded paper. On this he'd written my name next to a sketch of me (with big pouty lips and a rather square hairdo) with the caption '"boss" on break', and he popped it on top of my computer. We talked for a bit, then when he walked off he said "There's a number on the back of that if there's any problems." A mobile number. I'm assuming it's his and not the local Alcoholics Anonymous. This immediately sends me into a crippling seizure of embarrassment, and in this state I made the mistake of spilling the beans to Studmuffin.

Now anytime Mybug is within two feet of me Studmuffin starts giggling and singing lame songs like 'Love is in the air' or panting like a dog.

*head in hands*

Mybug was dressed very smartly on Thursday ...Smelled good too :P

Mission Implausible

After all the freaky speculation over the TomKat union, the Free Katie campaigns, the Scientology shizzle, reports over Katie's shape-shifting bump and accusations that their baby is nothing more than a publicity stunt, and even a fraudulent one, I was prepared for a surprising conclusion.



Never expected to find out that Tom had actually impregnated Cherie Blair though!

Blast from the Past

Oh my God, totally bizarre, a friend from school - I say friend, we were tight at one time, then she and her little clique were complete bitches to me, but we were like 14 so I guess I should move on :P - just walked into where I work. I was sitting on the front desk, she walked in, stopped dead and said my name. I looked up and didn't recognise her at first - she looks really good - and then we had this frantic conversation. I totally couldn't remember anything she'd told me so I had to look her up on the system to see what she'd said she was studying and stuff. But anyway, it was really random that I just happened to be on reception and everything.

It was weird too because I was only thinking of her last night when Studmuffin (new guy) was asking if I had any friends that were his type (after a night of pointing out students who fit the bill for him.) I went through my phonebook, saw her name and thought: whoa I need to weed this thing out! It turns out that she never sees any of the girls she was in the clique with any more... Weird!

"I don’t believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman"

I was about to post this (my actual bike... well, the same model!) with some Queen lyrics...


But it's raining! muahahahahahahaha... ahem. I can just see everyone running down the street in open toed sandals and prematurely short skirts. Suckers!

Nay cast a clout til May is out, bitches!

Summer Breeze

Today I am missing the most gorgeous summer day because I am stuck in work until nine and I'm gutted! I listened to my mp3 on the bus on the way to work - why is it that music sounds better when it's sunny? I wish I was out on my bike. I am also stuck here with the Foot Perv and the new guy, who seems really nice but he's been shadowing me for the past two days and I'm going to run out of stuff to talk to him about soon! Foot Perv is breaking out one of his trying to be funny routines right now in the staff room, and everyone is uncomfortably looking at the floor. It's going to be a loooooong night.

Yesterday was glorious as I took my bike out for the first time. We went through the woods over to the park and it was so pretty there in the sunshine. There weren't even that many hoodies hanging out making a nuisance of themselves, and only one guy racing around scaring small children on a quad - score! I also wore my new pumps :P

The observant among you will notice that today is not Tuesday and therefore I am not contractually obliged to be here, stuck indoors in a library when summer is happening in the streets of Liverpool. However, in a stroke of kindness I offered to cover Rarebit's late and look where it's got me!

Hope ya'll are enjoying the sunshine while I keep these dusty books company *sob*

Enjoyment

By the way, I had such a good long weekend - and spent an absolute bomb! Kaiser Chiefs were brilliant, and Monday I went out and finally bought my bike!

But back to the Chiefs. Oh my goodness. Firstly, the concert was outdoors and after a glorious Saturday it decided to bucket down on Sunday so that all us mugs were left standing out in the rain getting soaked. The show opened at four thirty but we found out that the support acts didn't start until 6 and so we took our time ambling around Leeds (in the rain) and had a couple of drinks (Boyf was driving and was a good boy) before strolling into Millennium Square around 7. The food available in there was disgusting and ridiculously overpriced - we threw ours away. We were getting a bit miserable standing around waiting until finally at nine fifteen the Kaiser Chiefs came on and made it all worth it. We were so close and after tolerating a few pesky tall people who decided to jump up and down in front of short arse me (and a couple of annoying girls with a home made banner affixed to wooden spoons) I managed to find myself a good spot, except that it was next to some footie fans who chanted "Leeds" and "We hate Chelsea" throughout the gig. I especially liked Peanut's clapping :P Oh My God provided a great finale.

When we got home MJ asked us how the concert went. Very eagerly, the Boyf told him all about how we'd found a parking space right next to Millennium Square, and it was free to park on Sundays! He was obviously overwhelmed by the Kaiser Chiefs performance then!

I'll never let go Jack!

So, last night was my Tuesday Night Late and it was absolutely crazy. We just didn't get a second to breathe or even to gossip. I dealt with some bitchy customers and realised something: they don't seem to be getting to me as much anymore. I didn't even bother trying to explain things to them. I just let their jabbering go right over my head and told them what they needed to do. After work I was exhausted and considered not staying up for the double bill of Lost. After the first episode though, I just had to watch the second cos I was desperate to find out what happened next... only you didn't. It like, replayed the first episode from different angles and just when you thought you were getting a little bit closer: flashback. We didn't actually get beyond the end of the first episode. It was so frustrating! And the ad breaks! Could they milk it any more? I'm going to have to start taping it instead so I can press fast forward.

I've heard a few people say that they're going to avoid Lost this season so they don't get sucked back in and have to commit to it for such a long time. A girl in work said she was too annoyed at the ending of last series to even contemplate another one. The first couple of episodes seemed to move so slowly that I wouldn't be surprised if it put some more people off too. But I'm gonna stick with it! I'll never let go Jack!

Get Lost

WARNING: Lost spoiler - avert thine eyes unless you are a) across the pond b) a scurvy buccaneer who has already downloaded the opening episodes and is in fact half way through the series - the sort of person who develops a gleefully smug smile, eyes round as saucers and full of secrets, whenever you bring up the subject or c) haven't the slightest interest in such an over-hyped show anyway (read: missed the first few and found it unfathomable when tried to belatedly join in with the office gossip)





After studiously avoiding leaky information from all above sources and looking forward to the new series for months, I stupidly allowed my eyes to wander across the pages of the telly guide only to read:

11.00 Lost Adrift: Sawyer pulls an unconscious Michael onto a piece of wreckage. (Series 2, ep 2)

Well I guess I know they survive then! Thanks very much What's On TV!