What goes around...

Where to begin? So this week has been a bit of a 'mare as far as work has been because there are all varieties of teething problems between departments and unfortunately, the friendly face of our department, me, gets it in the neck from the students when it's me that has to tell them. Messenger. Shoot. Don't. There was only really one guy that was a pain in the ass though; I wanted to slap him around the face with The Oxford English Dictionary. He asked me the same question over and over again, and when I referred him to the supervisor because he was disputing a fine exclaimed: "Well she's just going to give me the same jargon as you, so it's a waste of my time!" (Bloke next to me has just given me an odd look for my one handed typing.) He didn't stop there though and kept up with the questions - correction, the same question I had answered ten times already - also wanting to buy the book back. (So wish I'd told him to try Waterstones.) I knew there was going to be no getting rid of him. Eventually, I said "Do you want to see the supervisor or not, because you're wasting my time." Dude has a serious superiority complex. He huffed and walked off in a strop. He'll prob come back and complain about me. Whatever!

This morning a guy was kicking off because he had to wait in a queue for like 2 minutes to return books because we had just opened and the manager was still stocking the till. When it was his turn I steeled myself for an argument. He opened with: "Sorry for getting impatient babe! I just hate waiting!" God help him when we're actually busy.

On the opposite end of the scale, we've also had some really nice people in too. This guy who always loses books came in. He's always racking up massive bills but he's really sweet about paying for them. Some other bloke offered to buy me an Everton shirt (to convert me) and told his mates to look out for me in Garlands, and a guy I helped the other week came back in for a chat - the only problem being I have real trouble understanding him. The student who chatted me up when I came in for my interview chatted me up again too. And, had a good giggle with Potter the other day, plus he kind of reassured me that he had heard only good things about me from everyone. I can kind of tell who does and doesn't like me anyway.

Ooh, almost forgot to say, remember the state I was in last week because of the Hag? Well, a week to the day and she was sobbing in work because someone from another department had come down to shout at her for the way she spoke to a student and a member of their staff. I didn't take any pleasure from it to be honest, I felt bad for her. I don't think she has great people skills and someone was bound to get peeved at her eventually and bite back. Funny what you said about karma though MJ ;)

In my dreams

Take the quiz: "What Sex and the City girl are you?"

Carrie
You Are Carrie!!

I stole this from Wondy :) I got 7 Carrie points, 3 Charlotte, and 1 Samantha,0 for Miranda! Shocked! However, the sobering words of the actor who plays the hilariously bitchy Anthony are as a mantra in my head: (dripping with derision) "You're not fucking Carrie!"

Lust for Glorious

Looks like Sienna just walked in.

So how was your weekend? I had a total laze-fest, it was glorious. I really miss my boyfriend though. He's in Glasgow this week, due home tomorrow, can't wait! Am hoping for something along the lines of that famous scene from An Officer and a Gentleman, but I don't think he has the outfit... we should get him that outfit! I'm working late tomorrow and could really do with the distraction.

Behold the fabulousness of the new Sex and the City: The Complete Series shoe box! I want one! I'm holding out until after Christmas; if Santa doesn't read my blog, I'll splurge and buy it myself (just hope they don't sell out or something!) I can justify the spending because I'll really get my moneys worth out of it. SATC marathons are a regular occurrence at the Chica residence. It's so pretty!

Yesterday, I watched Closer. Oh My God. How disgusting are men?! Yeuch, I hope Clive Owen doesn't kiss his mother with that mouth! Bar of soap needed, stat. I do not get how Julia's character (my mate Julia Roberts that is :P) could find that man attractive when he is portrayed as such a sleazebag. That scene with Natalie Portman? Gross! I know Jude Law's character wasn't exactly squeaky clean on the language front, but that computer scene - how did they get away with showing that?! - was pretty funny. "Graphic sexual dialogue" indeed! That being said, I'd recommend this film. (But it should be rated NEVER WATCH IT WITH YOUR PARENTS... or on a first date, for that matter.) And I really liked Julia's eye make up! Natalie with red hair reminded me of Sharon Osbourne, but she rocked the pink wig.

Shazza?

I filled out a job application yesterday too. It took me half the day! Bah - I hate supporting statements. It's for some student liaison post, helping them find work placements. It's better paid than my current job and has more chance of going somewhere. I've been trawling job websites recently. If any of them are actually interested in me, I don't think I'm going to be too popular with my boss, getting calls for references already! *sigh* Why can't I just wake up tomorrow and be Zadie Smith? I mean, is that too much to ask?

Every Cloud...

Hey Ya (my homage to last night's Will & Grace.) I wasn't gonna post today but I thought I should maybe lift the gloom of the last post. I had a much better day yesterday. I helped a bunch of people while I was on Guide, including the prettiest little Irish boy I have ever seen in my life! He was CUTE with a capital UTE! I was talking to him giving him advice thinking 'you've been looking at him too long now, look away!' We had a coffee and cake thing for one of the girls who turned forty, but I missed it cos I had to go to some seminar. I didn't mind too much though because I snuck into Faith on the walk back to work (seminar was on the other side of town). They had nice ballet flats for work but they didn't fit me, I'm a size 4 usually but these 4's were just a little tight and the 5 were like flippers on me. Weezer has a similar problem, she's size 3 and is considering shopping in Next Kids. Anyway I felt really naughty and got back to work in time for my break. I did some good work yesterday sorting out a fuck up on the book move and a couple of tricky customers. I'm okay when left to my own devices; IN YOUR FACE, Hag! Ahem. That was a minor glitch. Let the good news commence:

I overslept on Thursday and woke up at 7:28. I still made it into work on time and caught the quarter to 8 bus! How is that physically possible! Watched Mean Girls again. One of my favourite films! And some Sex and the City. Yesterday I got some news from my friend Rosebud, who has - finally! - given birth to her second daughter, at 7lb 15 oz! She has given her a name similar to mine and her initials are mine and my boyfriends, so I approve! :)

I heard back from one of my old tutors that I love recently too, he's so adorable and sweet. My current tutor passed my registration problems on to him because he's always on leave, and I got an email from him saying that he'd try and sort it all out for me, "Registry at their best again!" He is so lovely, I wish he was still my tutor instead of old Droopy Drawers. I'm gonna try and get some work done on it this weekend. You know, if I can fit it around the shopping.

What else? Oh yeah, I ordered some stuff off Amazon, all 'usually dispatched in 24 hours'. I won't get them for like three weeks! What up with that? They are mostly point and click role playing type computer games, because MJ and I decided it was time for a trip down memory lane. We used to play them all the time with my dad, so we thought we could spend some quality time nerding it up together over pizza and cans of Coke (somehow obligatory). That plan is now on hiatus.

I've spotted a couple of jobs I'm gonna apply for at some point over the weekend too. It's not that I desperately hate my job or anything, but I want to keep trying for better positions with more prospects. I am not feeling 9 to 5, and would really love to do something creative. I'm thinking of going to art classes when I've finished my MA. I have no direction to speak of do I? :P Maybe I'll just up and go, be a professional beach bum in some tropical paradise. But knowing my luck I'd probably get eaten by a giant polar bear.

The Good, the Bad and the Fugly

Good: *searching* Towards the end of the day some sweet guy came up and asked me how to spell apologise, because he thought he was spelling it right but spellcheck was marking it wrong. I went and changed the language from English US to English UK, solving the problem. It's a simple thing but it was nice that I knew how to help him, and he was really appreciative, which feels good. Yes, this is the closest I get to job satisfaction. Unlike somebody :)

Bad: Stoopid Supervisor Hag belittling me in front of everyone and making me start the horrendous Guide job before my lunch was even over. A Guide is basically just an extra person on hand to show people things like the library catalogues and give directions and stuff, but it was dead today so it basically involved just hanging around the self issue machines waiting for a person who hasn't used it before to rock up. Also bad was the mere presence of 70's-Thinks-he's-a-Pimp, who makes me hurl. Number of enemies made today: #2.

Ugly: Me standing facing everybody on the counter as the Guide trying not to cry. And failing. I've been emotional all day and the stupid Hag pushed me over the edge by being a bitch for no reason (other than, as I found out later, her boss being on her case telling her to make sure people were doing their jobs properly. Shit rolls downhill, as my mum is fond of saying.) I think she was trying to make an example of me (despite the fact I was doing nothing wrong) because I'm new so she thinks she can get away with talking to me like shit whereas anyone else would have told her to get knotted. In the end I was crying because I was stood there like a Freak on show trying not to cry and to look friendly and approachable at the same time. For an hour. It got so bad that I was trying to remember the words to Barry Manilow and Wham songs to keep my mind busy. Perhaps that was a mistake. Sass eventually came over (interrupting my interior monologue of itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini) and took me to the Staff Room, which was full of people, so now the whole staff team have seen my red eyes. Then the manager asked to see me in her office. She was really nice but I've made a complete show of myself today and cried so much since then that I've made myself sick :(

Pretty much the worst day at work ever.

Ah well, Lost is on tonight. Sass tried to cheer me up by saying I should pretend I was going home to Matthew Fox, and in this small way I am :P

Late Night Suckfest

Lates officially SUCK. I'm properly bored. And I didn't get my break today. Booooo! Anyway, I've just had an hilarious encounter with some dude who we'll call Hitch. Afterwards, I pssstted Potter and asked: What's that guys name?

P: I thought you knew him, you were getting on like a house on fire!
Me: Does he flirt with everyone?
P: Aye. Be warned.

So funny. I wish MJ had been in my ear, he would've wet himself at Hitch's lines, which included: "Every time I see you you're always smiling... I'm so attracted to girls who smile... you're smiley." He had some kind of flirt and pause technique going on, as if he needed to give each line a few moments for maximum impact/appreciation. It's sad to say but that's the most entertainment I've had all day.

Okay I take it back, he just got me again and bored the bejesus out of me telling me all about writing his thesis. Dude should've quit while he was ahead.

It is a truth universally acknowledged...

...that any adaptation of Pride & Prejudice that omits its most famous line is making a mistake. Even Bridget Jones knew that!

Tell me why, I don't like mondays, tell me why, I don't like mondays, I wanna shoo-hoo-hoo-hoo... hold up... it's monday and I'm sitting in bed supping a cup of Yorkshire tea in my pyjamas! :) You gotta love days in lieu. I'm not gonna slob around all day though, I'm heading to uni later to sort out registering and due dates and whether they're gonna try and charge me more fees *gulp* What can I wear? It's funny but I've started to hate wearing anything I've worn to work on my days off. I guess I'll need a whole separate free time wardrobe *sigh*

I'm so happy I could cry. I probably won't feel this way at seven in the morning when I have to drag my ass out of bed and haul it to the bus - stop... I'm on a late tomorrow, lie in for me! Okay I'll stop being smug now, but I have to make the most of these small pleasures while they last, it's proper term time this week and you may find me hiding under the counter because of the change in pace. I'm not looking forward to angry queues of people cursing me for fucking up the till. I'll have to pull out the tried and tested 'la, la, I can't hear you' routine. But I don't have to worry about that until tomorrow. So shush me.

Yesterday was lovely. We spent most of the weekend recovering from our colds (if I'm sick, boyf always has to be sick too, or he feels left out. Bless.) So we snuggled in bed with mugs of tea and comfort food. He bought things on eBay. I watched movies. Sunday afternoon we ventured out to the cinema for Pride & Prejudice. It's one of those movies you already know if you'll love or hate, but I love the novel, Jane Austen is my hero, so I was glued. Not so the bloke on the end of our row, who fell asleep and started snoring. It is a bit drawn out with none of Austen's lively wit to fill the gaps, but it's gorgeously done. My boyfriend had complaints about Mr. Darcy though. He was expecting more of a "Diet Coke man", i.e. sexy, and some romping. He did however like Keira's teeth.

After the film we went for an Italian, which was lush but it was way too hot in the restaurant. Some gross couple (who, my spies inform me, had just met) were making out in the seating area. They had Swing music playing for most of the night and then they played 'Let's Get It On'. Homage?

My P&P verdict: Fall in love with the book first, then you can appreciate seeing it played out on screen with the benefit of Austen's narrative style in your head. The sets are beautiful and I think next time I read the book I'll be able to imagine that time more clearly. But that bit at the end where Elizabeth is talking to her dad? That kind of stunk. Mr. Darcy is a bit wimpy too, but it's hard not to think of him as Colin Firth. It had me at hello.

Boyfs P&P verdict: "I was dying to know what was happening in the theatre next door, I could hear car chases and everything!"

The Plastics

Yesterday, my mum went Christmas shopping. She's actually started pretty late this year, as she's usually got a truckload of presents in by the summer. Anyway, she picked up some Li'l Bratz toys for my niece, who loves them. They're billed as the li'l girls with the big fashion sense!

Now, is it just me, or are these a bit worrying as far as self images for little girls go? I mean, I know the same has been said about Barbie for years and years (and I had like a gazillion Barbies), but seriously now, when the L'il Bratz grow up, they're gonna look like this. They're either seriously emaciated or have inflatable heads. And since they're meant to be 'li'l girls', aren't they a bit young for eye lifts and collagen injections?

I don't know. At least Barbie had multiple careers, various property investments and dumped Ken for a surfer toyboy.

Are you ready boots?

A quick pitstop at bloggerville. I'm a bit under the weather at the mo' (but still at work, breathing all over everyone, muahahaha!) so yesterday my boyfriend bought me a present, a pair of gorgeous snuggly slippers/boots from Next to keep my tootsies warm. How cute is he! I love them. I am hoping they're okay as I heard there was some red wine spillage last night in their vicinity, but I haven't checked yet 'cos I'm playing wage slave. I'll post a pic later, because I'm that sad. (Update: there were a few splashes, but they cleaned up real purdy!)

I've put some leave request forms in so I'm hoping I get them before I put another cheeky request in for a week off in October. We're hoping to skip over to France for a few days, if Boyf gets time off work. And that's a big IF. Fingers crossed!

As for today, I have mostly: been using Powerpoint and the laminating machine. Excitement!

PS Potter gets my sense of humour. I made him belly laugh. 10 points.

Holy Crap, Lions!

'Sup people. Today we wrapped our work day up with bottles of Bucks Fizz, strawberries and scones. Ribbit drank about six glasses, and Jojo got her digital camera out, which was not good. She has lots of pics of Potter with his hands over his face now. This was a special 'treat' for some hard work that's been put in recently on a big book move. What we all secretly wanted to say was, "Can't you just hand us a strawberry on the way out and let us go early?" I sat next to the newest addition to the team, who is above us but seems really nice. Next week I start doing some late nights.

Last weekend was a really good one. Saturday I went shopping and bought Mowgli (the nephew) some cute baby socks and a winter hat and gloves since my niece is pretty sorted for newborn-size clothes. Then we went to see Crash, which was brilliant - one of the best films I've seen for ages. The representation of racism was really compelling; it shows you rather than telling you, so it isn't overly didactic. Because we're so used to getting a politically correct version of things it shocks you when it first starts even though most of us probably hear stuff like that all the time in real life. Boyfriend would've enjoyed it more if some girl wasn't sitting behind him narrating themovie. She also kept laughing at the weirdest parts. Even her boyfriend shushed her at one point :P

Sunday brought a trip to Chester Zoo, which was really fun as I haven't done anything like that with my boyfriend for ages. I've been before when I was a kid and so has he but this was the first time we'd been together. The first thing we saw after we paid in and donated to the Orangutan fund :) was the elephants!

Look how cute the baby elephant is! You can't see in the photo but he's standing next to a big waterfall. From the elephant enclosure we went to see the monkeys, which were springing about all over the place. We got a glimpse of a little tiny baby monkey being cuddled by mummy and daddy monkey too. They were very protective and shoved any other monkeys off the platform when they came near. There were lots of other animals in this part of the zoo to see, including ostriches and zebras, but by far the best thing we did was the Bat house! How cool was this! You enter this building and it's all really dark, you can't see at first where you are going. The first thing we saw was a massive shadow overhead, and looked up to see something the size of a seagull. "That wasn't a real bat!" said the Boyf. But he was wrong. The hugest bats I have ever seen were swooping over our heads, landing on wire type things and walking along them in their own freaky little style. Ace Ventura would've hurled. There were also small bats zipping around us through openings in the mock cave we were walking through, and hanging upside down in the trees. One brushed Boyf's face as we walked around. I wrapped my hair up really tight because that fear of them getting tangled in your hair that's in films? That isn't made up! One of the other best things was the Meerkats. They are so funny looking!

There were lots of them running around, and when two helicopters flew over, they all ran to the top of the hill and watched them. Cute! We saw the rhinos, the penguins and seals swimming around, and a lion having a snooze in the grass. The Jaguar house was cool; they are amazing. We watched one of them dragging what appeared to be a treetrunk around with the minimum of effort. It was so powerful.

We ambled down towards the tiger enclosure, passing the orangutans on the way. There was this one Orangutan just sitting off on the grass in the sun, watching people pass by and shading his face with his hands. It was funny because there were people walking towards us doing exactly the same thing, only they were less hairy :P

There he is, as promised! I'm probably overloading you with info here but it was such a good day out! We are both animal lovers and it was a lovely way to spend a day. We hung around watching one of the baby monkeys feeding and hit the reptile house before going back to see the tiger again. He was practically posing for photographs and was very proud looking. He even roared a few times, if tigers do actually roar :P Then he found a sunny spot and stretched out, rolling around on the grass.

Other highlights include watching a pelican catch a fish, the very gentle looking deers and giraffes, and crawling through some tunnels to look at guinea pig type things. It was a much better day than Monday, which I spent at work and then applying for a job I really want, which took up my whole day. It would be kind of cool to work at the zoo, apart from all the poop! I'm off to get ready for Most Haunted!

To be continued...

As I'm at work I can't update ya'll on the fun of the weekend yet, but you can expect a rave review of Crash (okay maybe not a bona fide review, more of a thumbs up), and pictures of cute animals from my trip to the Zoo! So check back, I promise Orangutans!

Oh, and by the way, last week when putting together information packs for new students, Potter asked whether he had overtaken me or if I'd lapped him... so. hard. not to make a dirty joke! See, I'm resisting.

Stand and Deliver

Even though I have just sent a text to Guillermo bemoaning the compulsory oohing and ahhing girls are compelled to do in the proximity of friends/colleagues' babies (be they admittedly adorable like Lady P's or a screaming harpy), I just have to take time out for a baby blog. I went to see my new baby great-nephew on Sunday and he's sooooo tiny. I held him and there was no weight to him at all. He has blue eyes like my niece's and thick dark hair. My niece sounded amazingly grown up. I went to the hospital with my sister and my nieces, who are all gorgeous and brown after their recent holiday. My sister is so confident driving now (we passed our tests in the same month.) I need to get back in the saddle!

So I'm in the process of applying for a couple of jobs. One of them is part time so if I got it I'd ask to cut my hours down here and do them both. I really like the idea of that because it would shake things up a little and make life more interesting. I also applied for a job I'm not qualified for, but I thought what the hey, you never know your luck. I really, really, really hope I get one of them. Even though I'm only new here and everything and things are about to pick up and get crazy, the idea of working here for a long period of time with nothing new on the horizon depresses me. It's weird because I've always worked towards something, some goal like exams or deadlines or new semesters. I don't like the idea of not having that.

In other news, my dissertation I've been worrying over getting in for this month is apparently due in in February, as I found out after emailing my ever-absent tutor. I hope he's got it right and isn't just being a div. I should probably call someone who knows what they're talking about, but I'm always scared they'll say something along the lines of "muahahahaha now we can charge you more fees!"

Our Survey Says...

Our top totty, assessed, judged, assessed, verified, and assessed some more by the office gurlz:

Eion Bailey

Brandon Flowers

Jake Gyllenhaal

Tall, dark and handsome is the order of the day!

Oprah's book club it aint

Greetings.

The Other New Person at my workplace is in his second week with us now (like my use of 'us'?) The other day he came down in the lift with a trolley, bathed in sweat. There was even a wet patch on the back of his shirt. He asked me where to put the trolley if you hadn't finished unloading it, so I showed him where they went. "Right," he said, "and what if you only get it about half done?" So I gave him the options. "Right," he said, mopping his brow, "And with regards to time...?" The poor love had dashed around trying to get the whole thing done in twenty minutes, hence the perspiring freely. I wonder if I was that industrious when I started?

Can you believe it's September already? Terrifying. Even more so since my dissertation is due. Oh. Fuck.

In my line of work I've come across some books that are guaranteed to put you off your dinner, ones that I have absolutely no wish to ever, ever read. High on this list are the following titles:
The Color Atlas of Intestinal Parasites (yuck), Malignant Disease of the Vulva (ew), and last but by no means least, What doctors don't tell you: the truth about the dangers of modern medicine (mummy!)