Three Times A Lady

'Muffin wanted to play at interviewing but couldn't be bothered updating his blog, so he emailed me some questions instead. MJ also wanted to interrogate me but I don't want to inundate you guys with these things so he agreed he'd just get me drunk and ask me (they were quite private bloody questions anyway, the perv!) Apparently, I am at my most candid in writing and after a few SoCo and lemonades. This is actually quite true; the Too Much Information inhibitors completely shut down and once I'm a little tipsy I'll tell you pretty much anything if you ask me nicely.

1. If you had to describe yourself using 5 adjectives, what would they be?

Loyal. I was born in the Chinese year of the dog. Stop giggling! (I know, despite that I still consider myself loyal, you think I have a personality disorder maybe?)

Analytical. I am far, far, far too introspective for my own good.

Flaky. I could commit myself to one path and make it work if I really wanted to, but I get distracted by the silliest things. I'm using flaky to mean 'unfocused' here, not cursed with dandruff.

Flirtatious. I know I'm a flirt, and not a particularly good or subtle one either. I don't mean it in a sexual way; it's part of my sense of humour. I enjoy flirting, it's funny, and it makes people smile. I flirt with my friends; I flirt with 'Muffin all day long. I flirt with Mybug. My sister is the same. The only friend I don't tend to flirt with is Dedalus.

Open. I think I can be a difficult person to get to know, because I live in my head, but I don't mean to be. Ask me a question and you'll always get a frank answer. I'm not secretive and I like getting to know people. Yet few people know the real me. See also: SoCo and lemonade.

The acronym for my five adjectives would be LAFFO. Tee hee. (Maybe silly should have been one of my adjectives?)

2. Fast-forward 5 years from now. What would you like to be doing?

Omigod I will be thirty. Let me lie down for a moment.

By the time I am thirty, I want to be a published novelist, or a magazine columnist. I would like to be knocking around the Mediterranean in my sail boat, wearing white a la SJP in Failure to Launch, drinking champagne (it will be Thursday) and straddling a tanned, nubile young man. Or a tanned 35 year old man, which is the age Boyf will be! I want the salty sea breeze in my hair, and a big sparkly diamond on my finger.

Hello, sailor!

3. Do you believe in having regrets?

No. I believe in over-analysing the regret until you talk yourself into believing that there was absolutely no alternative course of action available to you. Like so:

Q: Oh my God, why did I tell Alfie I'd leave my boyfriend of eight years for him? Come on too strong much?
A: Ah, but, if I hadn't said that, he'd just think I was a big ol' ho who would willingly cheat on her boyfriend with any bloke she quite fancied the look of.
Q: Couldn't I have just left the chat altogether?
A: Yes, that would have been wise, but at the time I was going completely mad not knowing where I stood and I had to work with the fucker. Besides, this is not where it all started to go wrong, so I may want to choose another factor to obsess about.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

4. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?

Yes. Although I did consider asking if you had ever seen The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in answer to the next question.

5. Tomorrow you have the opportunity to change one major thing in your life, what would that be?

If I could change one thing in my life tomorrow, I would wake up cured of my elusive little health problem. It sounds ridiculous because it is (hopefully) nothing major, but I can't express the sense of freedom it would give me for it to just disappear. I would have a whole new lease of life. It would be like a weight lifted off my shoulders - all that stress would just vanish in an instant. It would feel like when you blow a dandelion that has gone to seed, all those bits of white fluff just floating away on the breeze. I would be more confident and happier in myself. I would feel less trapped and more able to do the things I want to do. I've a feeling it's going to be a long process, but hopefully that will be the case one day. I'm working on it, anyway.

It's been a swell ride, but *BNI will now resume normal service!

Theroux the Looking Glass

I am loving this recent trend for interviewing in the blogs I frequent at the moment, so when Wondy asked me to give her her third grilling, I just had to know what questions she would ask me. Plus, I'm really liking interviewing others, you hardly ever get the answers you expected. (And I still haven't finished that chapter!)

1. Who is your number one style icon (real or celebrity, it doesn't matter?)

I wouldn't say that I have any one style icon from the celeb world, but I often flick through magazines and think: I need that outfit. I think Cat Deeley always looks happy and healthy and effortlessly glamorous. Rachel Bilson nearly always looks cute and stylish. Jennifer Aniston is beautifully immaculate. But I am much more likely to find inspiration in the women around me, particularly my niece, Tink, who should seriously consider a career in fashion in my humble opinion. Nearly everything she buys, I'm like, I need that too! I covet her wardrobe like you wouldn't believe. If only we were the same shoe size, we could join forces and have a collection to rival Imelda Marcos (we often buy the same pair.) She just has a natural eye for what suits her and it helps that she is adorable and spends a fortune on fashion. (But she does shop at Primark, too.) It was her dress I borrowed for my first night out with Alfie in an attempt to knock his socks off. I was complimented on it the whole night.

I don't always - or often, even - get it right and can't always be bothered trying either (taking Bertie to the park in white jeans and wedges like many girls I see? No. Getting dressed up to go to Asda? Nada.) but I do love dabbling in fashion and there are few things that give me as much pleasure as an outfit I feel is well put-together. There is a pair of earrings with my name on them at the moment in Miss Selfridge; I spotted them in a magazine but I haven't been to check out if they are in store yet. They are only £3.50 but I want them oh-so-much (and have the whole outfit planned in my head, despite the fact that I own none of the items.)

UPDATE: I now need the grey dress Rachel Bilson is wearing in that picture.

2. What are your ambitions in life - you've talked about writing, etc - but imagine you can have what you want tomorrow - what would it be?

Does this include suddenly acquiring skills I don't have? Because my all time dream would be to be able to sing. I know this is totally a lame-ass dream - what am I, 15 prancing around making up dance routines with my mates and calling ourselves something trite and vomit-inducing? (I can't remember the actual trite and vomit-inducing name me and my equally talentless mates went by, but I'm pretty sure there was one along the lines of Pussycat Dolls or Girls Aloud.) It just seems so empowering, and I really admire women with voices like Aretha Franklin, Annie Lennox, and Beverley Knight (I bought tickets to see her in October yesterday, woooot!) I would love to perform on stage, even if it was only at a karaoke night at the local bar. Unfortunately I sound like cat being strangled. By Cilla Black.

In terms of ambitions I might actually get off my arse and start working towards, if I could walk into a book shop tomorrow and see rows of novels with my name on the spine on the shelves - or you know, preferably being dragged off the shelves by frenzied shoppers - that would really be an ambition fulfilled. I badly want to travel and have unspecified adventures so that when I am old I can look back and think, I have lived, but I really don't know where to start and there's a voice in my head that whispers a little menacingly you would not survive. There are also several voices outside my head telling me quite frankly, you would not survive.

In short, I don't really have plans or ambitions, I have pipe dreams. I would quite like to end up in a little crooked house by the sea in Cornwall though.

I'd also quite like to go to the Oscars. Me and MJ are fighting over who gets to marry Daniel Craig at the moment, I figure he's my ticket in... Once he's married to Mr. Craig, MJ can sneak me in for sure.

3. Who is your best friend and what makes them your best friend, bar none?

Ahhhh. You've put me in quite a pickle here. I'm going to say two men who read my blog, but that's not why, I swear! (I am also shamelessly sidestepping the 'bar none' clause of your question!)

MJ. Because we share something that nobody else can ever appreciate. He is a fiercely private person and because of this it's sometimes difficult to include him in other parts of my life. He and Boyf hardly know each other, despite the fact that Boyf and I are coming up to our eight year anniversary. You know the saying, no man is an island? MJ is my island. He's bloody Ibiza.

'Muffin. Now, I don't know if this will come as a surprise to some or not, or even to the man himself. Even though in the grand scheme of things, we haven't been mates that long (coming up to a year though!) 'Muffin has been there for me through some very trying times. Specifically, he's been there for me when I know I've been very trying! He takes me seriously, even when I am being daft. He goes above and beyond the call of duty to make me laugh - you know what I'm talking about 'Muffin! And also, although I don't want to encourage this in him too much, he tells me when I need to get a fucking grip. He can be counted on to give an honest opinion - like he'll tell me when I look a state, which means that I can trust him when he tells me I look nice. He values friendship as much as I do, and even though we have our ropey moments or minor disagreements, I think he knows that he's a special person in my life and that my life is better because of him.

('Muffin, extreme statement #2: If you skit me about this in work, I will fucking kill you.)

4. Would you ever go out with a much older man (say 15 years plus) if you were really attracted to him?

Although I cannot imagine at this moment in my life being attracted to someone who was 40+, recent experience has shown me that if I have strong enough feelings for someone, I'll do pretty much anything to be with them. I'm sure overlooking a 15 year age gap wouldn't come without its setbacks but if you were into someone enough it would be worth it.

I've also come to realise that if you love somebody you don't give a toss what anyone else thinks. Because my Boyf is such a hottie, it makes me feel good that out of all the women he could have had, he chose me. When certain of my friends used to try and make herself look better by putting me down, I used to think, pah, well my boyfriend's better looking than yours, love! Very shallow, I know, but worked every time. I used to think I would miss that though, that pride at being seen with him. But nearly everyone I know is anti-Alfie; they can't understand what I see him, and I don't care. So if you managed to find someone who you were crazy about and who actually made you happy too? Easy.

I'm sure there are plenty of concrete points to be made against going out with a much older man, but personally I feel most obstacles are surmountable if you both try hard enough.

5. Would you consider any sort of plastic/cosmetic surgery?

Yes, and no. Personally, I think you should work with what you've got. Surgery for cosmetic reasons seems a little extreme, unless there are mitigating circumstances. Of course, there are plenty of things I would change about myself. Like, I would definitely have a nose job. But I have seen those programmes and what they do and I am not willing to put myself through that. Boyf likes my nose, for some bizarre reason. I think if everyone went around correcting their flaws then faces would be boring. It's often supposed flaws in peoples features that I find attractive.

There you go love, excellent questions, and as thanks I've even stuck a pic of Zach Braff in there for your enjoyment!

Ve Have Vays of Making You Tock

This meme has been making the rounds and I finally decided to jump on the bandwagon. Well, I do have an entire chapter of my dissertation to write by tomorrow, I was begging for such an opportunity to procrastinate! Here are my questions from the lovely Brandy.

1. If you could leave a time capsule the size of a microwave that would be opened in a century, what would you put in it to represent the world now?

Hmmm. I don't know if I would be comfortable with the responsibility of representing the world. I would probably try to represent here.

Ergo, I would put in things like pieces of artwork that depict the city (I have a particular one in mind but can't find it on the whole of the world wide web! Tch.) A miniature Super Lamb Banana. The White Album. But none of these things would really translate. There is a feel about this city, maybe because it's home. My boyfriend tells a story about when he was young, being dragged around town shopping by his parents and complaining that it was boring, when his uncle told him to look up. He did and has been fascinated by the architecture of Liverpool ever since. I know it inspires a mixed reaction, but I love my accent. I love scouse boys. I love the waterfront. There are plenty of things I don't like, too. But this city has a soul, and it's the soul I love. Can you fit a soul into a microwave?

2. What was your favourite childhood toy?

When I was little, I loved books and Barbie in pretty much equal measures. None of my Barbie's were called Barbie; they all had individual names, personalities, and careers. One of my Barbie's had pink and purple streaks in her crimped hair, was called Rachel, dated 'Paul' and was in medical school. I made a stack of medical textbooks out of paper for her to carry around in a bowling bag I think I got with Ken. A denim jacket I got with a different Barbie was always 'hers'. But I think my favourite thing was the house. I got it one Christmas when I was really young, along with a bunch of furniture and a plastic mat painted up to be a garden. One day, I decided I was going to run away for some reason; I packed sandwiches, a Barbie, the Barbie bed and the plastic garden. I think I planned to run away to my grandmothers, who lived about five streets away. I was always very ambitious.

3. Why do you blog? (I'm always curious why people do...)

I started blogging because I love to write, but don't have the discipline or the belief in myself (or the talent) to write anything more solid than witterings from my daily life. I persevered with it because I enjoyed it and because it really helped me to stop writing in such an academic style. Sometimes I become disillusioned with blogging because I start to question the merits of my meagre contributions to the blogosphere. I think, who would want to read this? Is this valid? Posts like "Guess what happened today, oh my God, Alfie walked into a building, and then, then, he walked out! Insert crisis here," really don't help, but I find them cathartic. Writing a post is my way of getting these thoughts organised in my head.

I've also met some wicked people through blogging and sometimes I'll write something and will look forward to someones reaction to it. If I manage to finagle a comment out of a long time lurker, or a reluctant voice like MJ, it's a great feeling. And I actually miss people when they don't comment or don't update their own blogs for a while. I suppose that at its best, blogging makes me feel connected.

4. What's the hardest lesson you ever learned?

I'm struggling to answer this one because I don't want to sound pitiful. But in the spirit of catharsis, here it is. I'm still learning this lesson. And it's this: my voice deserves to be heard. I hate the way that sounds. I don't mean that my voice is more important than anyone elses, or that I have anything phenomenally insightful or rewarding to say. What I mean to say is, I have as much right to voice my opinion as anyone else; I matter, too. This sounds like a very generic answer, so I'll flesh it out some.

It came as a revelation to me at the age of about sixteen that instead of worrying whether someone liked me, I might want to consider whether I liked them. A revelation. When I met my boyfriend at seventeen, I fell for him because he made me feel like I was worth speaking to and spending time with - he was interested in me, what I had to say; he sought out my opinion before the opinion of others, he wanted to get to know me. Plus, he was crazily hot. I couldn't believe my luck.

I was a wallflower at school. My method of survival was to keep my head down. I still walk past people I know in the street sometimes because of this, or I don't say hello to people I went to school with, because I assume they won't remember me. Once, when I came top in an exam, the teacher didn't recognise my name and had to ask who I was. There are times when I try to be invisible, to go unnoticed. In a group, I am never the loud person. I don't fight to be heard. When I am unsure of myself, I become very softly spoken; my voice drops a few octaves mid-sentence. I can feel myself doing this, but I can't stop it. I am often talked over.

I am not a doormat, I stand up for myself and for others. Sometimes, I take this to extremes, and later, I regret it.

When I was born, the younger of my two sisters was ten years old. She resented me, and still does, because she wasn't the baby anymore. She personifies the term "middle child syndrome." I made her feel like nobody loved her anymore; I've felt like an imposition my whole life. When I talk, or sometimes just by being there, I feel like I'm imposing myself on you.

In almost every relationship or group situation, I feel expendable. Wearing my heart on my sleeve with Alfie, was one of the biggest risks I've ever taken in my life. And yet I ran into it blindly, with eagerness and almost without hesitation.

5. A dinner party for you and six people, who do you invite and why? (famous, not famous, alive or dead... you can invite whoever)

Although I am sure I would enjoy a dinner party for my nearest and dearest a whole lot more, let's plunge straight into fantasy land (I'm thinking of setting up house there permanently) and go with a cast of people I will never get to meet.

Robert Kennedy. I am really interested in the Kennedy's and the Civil Rights movement and count this man as one of my heroes.

Virginia Woolf. Anyone who can sell stream-of-consciousness writing is someone I have to meet.

Homi K. Bhabha. Is it massively geeky that I have a favourite literary theorist? Wait, don't even answer that one.

Amy Winehouse. I have to invite her! You know I'm Amy's bitch.

Oscar Wilde. A blatantly obvious choice which, I feel, requires no explanation. The man went to jail for the sake of a witty riposte. That's commitment.

Kate Winslet. Completely beautiful, down to earth, and articulate.

Voila!

I think I'm a bit slow on the uptake here and everyone has already been interviewed, but if you are interested, here are the rules:

- Leave me a comment including your email address saying, “Interview me!”

- I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all. I'm real bossy like that.

- You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I Wanna Six You Up

I've been tagged by the lovely April! I have to list six random and/or strange facts about myself, then tag 6 others to do the same. Hmmm, I have a feeling I've done very similar meme's before, so apologies for any repetition. Read on for random strangeness.

1. I'm a walking disaster area, for whom even the most basic tasks prove to be too much. I hurt my right arm on the bus yesterday and it's quite painful. It hurts even to type. I've written like, 4 posts since then. My dedication to blogging is so great :P Meh, it hurts when I'm still anyway, I may as well be typing and taking my mind off it! I couldn't sleep last night because of it. It's a handbag injury; I think I twisted my arm the wrong way while picking mine up to get off at my stop.

2. I'm frugal with my lips. I've only kissed 7 boys. I should say men, though some of them were boys when I kissed them. 'Men' would just make that sentence sound less like I was writing this in my diary at the back of a science class, dotting the i's with love hearts. Given my time over, I would only have kissed two of them. One of them is Boyf.

3. I'm still one of the crap kids in the shallow end. I can't really swim. I had a scary experience in a public swimming baths when I was little, but I am not afraid of the water. While holidaying in Toulouse, I swam a little for the first time. I began practising with the aid of a pair of neon pink armbands and a child's Finding Nemo float, which I purchased for myself.

4. I almost passed myself off as intelligentsia (me!) I've stayed at Oxford University twice, once on an access course (where they let young people from disadvantaged areas get a taste of the good life!), and once while interviewing for a place there. I'm not sorry I didn't get in; I think I would've hated it. Nice deer park at Magdalen though. You have to sign a disclaimer before they let you into the Bod library saying you promise not to set anything on fire. Tee hee.

5. I've replaced hot sex with hot beverages! I really like drinking tea, wild child that I am. Boyf makes the best cup of tea ever. When we are both off work, he gets up first in the morning, makes me some tea, and then wakes me up when it's ready. He also puts the kettle on when I get home from work. We call them love cups of tea :P

6. I'm an evil genius, who spends many hours plotting devious schemes of revenge. I don't get along with Boyf's family, due to a dispute many years ago with his sister, and the fact that his mother is doolally. Once, also many years ago, we looked after their house while they were away. I only stayed there one night, the atmosphere in that house is just horrible. But I helped some in the big clean up before they came home. I forced Boyf to vacuum downstairs while I brushed up on the landing. I looked around up there and couldn't find a bin to empty the little pile of lint into, so I opened his sister's door and threw it in there (hahahahahahaha!) Small pleasures, people, small pleasures.

Now for the lucky six! I don't think I even know six bloggers?! Do this if you feel like it, unless you are 'Muffin, in which case I demand six facts, since you are still brand new. I'll even let you put down the one about how fast you can shelve a trolley. I'm good like that, see.

Book Worm

Tagged by the ever fabulous Wondy.

1. Grab the book closest to you.
2. Open to page 123, go down to the fifth sentence.
3. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog.
4. Name the book and the author.
5. Tag three people.

'Not any more.' Luisa is not joking.
With ironic deference, Brodie takes out the record from the gym bag.

- Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell

TAG: MJ, April, Guillermo (if you're not simply using your books to make a shrine for your Wii these days.)

I just skipped ahead in my book to do that and the tone of the text has completely changed. It's inspired me to dive back into that book, hurrah!

Love the Details

Some of you may notice that I've been blog-fishing recently, and added a couple of new favourites to my links. I spotted this on April's fun and quirky blog a few weeks ago, and have been working on it in dribs and drabs ever since. April, you're right, it takes some effort! In fact, it took me so long that I tagged Guillermo with it before I'd even done it myself :P As usual, join in if you feel like!

The Rules: Take 20 fairly standard and innocuous questions and answer them with music lyrics.


1.) Are you male or female?

Talkin' about you a man,
Always ready to go,
Now when it comes to movin',
Babe you awful slow,
And holler oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh,
And holler oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh,
I'm a W-O-M-A-N, a woman, a woman.
- Woman, Etta James

2.) Who are you?

I feel drunk but I'm sober,
I'm young and I'm underpaid,
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah.
I care but I'm restless,
I'm here but I'm really gone,
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby...
And what it all comes down to,
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet,
I've got one hand in my pocket,
And the other one is giving the peace sign
- Hand in My Pocket, Alanis Morissette

I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all together.
- I Am the Walrus, The Beatles

3.) Describe your neighbourhood:

In number 18 there lives a big butch queen,
He's bigger than Tyson and he's twice as mean,
In 666 there lives a Mr. Miller,
He's our local vicar and a serial killer,
Oh if you find the time please come and stay a while,
In our beautiful neighbourhood.
Who lives in a house like this? (who lives here, man?)
Who lives in a house like this?
Oh they want to knock us down 'cos they think we're scum,
But we will all be waiting when the bulldozers come,
In a neighbourhood like this you know it's hard to survive,
So you'd better come prepared 'cos they won't take us alive
- Neighbourhood, Space

4.) How do you look?

She's the face on the radio,
She's the body on the morning show,
She's there shaking it out on the scene,
And she's the colour of a magazine,
And she's in fashion, Oh Oh Oh,
- She's In Fashion, Suede

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror,
I can't take the person starin' back at me
- Don't Let Me Get Me, Pink

5.) What is love?

Down here the river meets the sea,
And in the sticky heat I feel ya’ open up to me,
Love comes out of nowhere baby, like a hurricane,
And it feels like rain.
Underneath the stars lying next to you,
Wondering who you are baby,
How do you do?
When the clouds blow in across the moon,
And the wind howls out your name,
Feels like rain
- Feels Like Rain, John Hiatt

6.) If you could say one thing to the person you love, what would it be?

It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door,
And I still could knock some more,
Ooh, boy, ooh, boy, is it crazy? Look, I wanna know now,
For I to knock some more.
You see - in life I know, that there is lots of grief,
But your love is my relief
- Waiting In Vain, Annie Lennox

7.) What's your secret?

I don't wanna talk about it,
How you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, my heart?
If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the colours of my heart;
Blue for the tears, black for the night's fears,
The stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror
- I Don't Wanna Talk About It, Everything But the Girl

8.) Are you strong?

Got brass in pocket,
Got bottle,
I'm gonna use it
- Brass in Pocket, The Pretenders

So what am I now?
I’m loves last home,
I’m all of the soft words I once owned,
If I opened my heart, there’d be no space for air,
’Cos I wanted you.
Weak as I am, no tears for you,
Weak as I am, no tears for you,
Deep as I am, I’m no ones fool,
Weak as I am
- Weak, Skunk Anansie

9.) Where do you wish you were right now?

Flocking to the sea,
Crowds of people wait for me,
Sea gulls scavenge,
Steal ice cream,
Worries vanish,
Within my dream.
I left my soul there,
Down by the sea,
I lost control here,
Living free
- The Sea, Morcheeba

10.) What do you think about your friends?

All of the moments that already passed,
We'll try to go back and make them last,
All of the things we want each other to be,
We never will be
- Try, Nelly Furtado

11.) Any words of advice?

Breathe, breathe in the air,
Don't be afraid to care,
Leave, but don't leave me,
Look around and choose your own ground.
For long you live and high you fly,
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry,
And all you touch and all you see,
Is all your life will ever be
- Breathe, Pink Floyd

12.) What do you wish you were doing right now?

Sittin' in the mornin' sun,
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes,
Watching the ships roll in,
And then I watch 'em roll away again,
Yeah, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay,
Watching the tide roll away,
Ooh, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay,
Wastin' time
- (Sitting On) The Dock of the Bay, Otis Reading

13.) What do you think about drugs?

If you think that I don't know about depression and emotional pain,
You're insane,
And you're a fool who hasn't paid attention to a word that I say,
In a way,
I can't help but feel responsible,
I always knew that you were insane,
With your pain,
But I never thought you'd be a junkie because heroin is so passe
- Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth, The Dandy Warhols

14.) If you could say one thing to your enemy, what would it be?

I don't care if you talk about me,
I don't care if you write it out in stone,
Whenever I fall I land on my feet,
I don't care, I just don't care now.
Mark the spot you hate with an X,
Then shoot your bow and arrow,
Do your worst get it all off your chest,
I'll hold my breath and swallow,
We hurt the ones we love the most,
It's a subtle form of discipline
- I Don't Care, Shakespeare's Sister

15.) What do you do on Friday nights?

I’m the kinda girl that hangs with the guys,
Like a fly on the wall with my secret eyes,
Takin’ it in, try to be feminine,
With my makeup bag watchin’ all the sin.
- Hey Baby, No Doubt

Hey, I wish I had my way,
'Cos everyday would be a Friday,
- I Wish, Skee-Lo

16.) What would you do if you won a million dollars?

Think what that money could bring,
I'd buy everything,
Clean out Vivienne Westwood,
In my Galliano gown,
No, wouldn't just have one 'hood,
A Hollywood mansion if I could,
Please book me first-class to my fancy house in London town.
- Rich Girl, Gwen Stefani

17.) How do you feel right now?

I look up to the little bird,
That glides across the sky,
He sings the clearest melody,
It makes me want to cry,
It makes me want to sit right down and cry cry cry, yeah.
I walk along the city streets,
So dark with rage and fear,
And I... I wish that I could be that bird,
And fly away from here,
I wish I had the wings to fly away from here.
- Little Bird, Annie Lennox

18.) Are you for World Peace?

The world is turning Disney and there's nothing you can do,
You're trying to walk like giants but you're wearing Pluto's shoes.
And the answers fall easier from the barrel of a gun,
Than it does from the lips of the beautiful and the dumb,
The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun,
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun
- One God, The Beautiful South

19.) Where were you born?

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes,
There beneath the blue suburban skies
- Penny Lane, The Beatles

20.) Any closing words?

I don't think you're ready for this jelly,
I don't think you're ready for this jelly,
I don't think you're ready for this,
'Cos my body too bootylicious for ya babe
- Bootylicious, Destiny's Child

Chase me, chase me!

Tagged by Wondy.

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

My sentence is rubbish! "And she made the staple diet joke, perfectly unconcerned."

No fair, I was so close to having an excuse to post a pic of Jeremy Edwards in the shower! Ah, screw it.

My 22nd post has for it's fifth line: "Well, maybe if Jeremy Edwards walked into my room looking like he does on my desktop (for the ladies) I'd Save as Draft."

Now that's a sight for sore eyes! Look at those shoulders! You know, I didn't even fancy Jezzy when he was on Hollyoaks, and I must have been in my early teens, around the time you fancy anything that moves/has good hair. He has definitely improved with age. Or maybe I just never saw him in the shower before? HOT. I'm good to you aren't I?

I tag anyone who feels like playing. MJ, I know you'll want to play but I don't know if you have 23 posts?!

No Time to Lose

... and yet! My friend David sent me this with his answers so it got me thinking about mine. Here they are, ready or not:

Ten random things about me:
10 - I type with one hand
9 - I talk to my dog in baby language and make up silly names for him (he looks on in contempt, but wags anyway :))
8 - I often daydream about a different life
7 - I hate wooden kitchen utensils... think nails scratching across a chalkboard *shudder*
6 - I can't swim but I love the sea
5 - Shopping makes me happy - no! never! I hear you cry
4 - I hate calling people and, boyfy excluded, only do so if absolutely necessary/a friend is upset/I will go to gaol if I don't
3 - Bizarre but true: when I'm angry/upset, I sing in the shower (sorry neighbours)
2 - I'm very proud to be my grandfather's granddaughter :) even though I used to stamp on his foot when I was little and think it was hilarious
1 - I know all the words to the theme tune of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air... who doesn't?

Nine ways to win my heart:
9 - Be my friend
8 - Buy me something pretty, hehe
7 - Share my enthusiasm for Big Brother... ahem
6 - Sing to me whether you can sing or not, or leave musical voicemails on my phone :)
5 - Make me feel safe
4 - Be addicted to texting
3 - Love to travel, and take me with you :) (I'm talking road trips, not Barbados)
2 - Be spontaneous and love life (I once willed someone to turn back in his car, drive to uni and kiss me in the library stacks :P)
1 - Avoid slobbery kissing! Eeeew.

Eight things I carry/wear every day:
8 - Make Poverty History wristband - buy it now!
7 - A smile :)
6 - The ring my boyf bought me for passing my A' levels
5 - Cute pictures of my nieces in my purse
4 - Inevitably, old cinema tickets... they're everywhere!
3 - Blusher. Sometimes I overdo it and look like Aunt Sally, but I don't care!
2 - Mobile phone - handy for texting and snapping pics of, for example, celebs you may spot wandering around town. If only they'd been invented when I saw Tim Vincent in Pizza Hut! He does a Specsavers ad now :P
1 - In winter, a scarf, in summer, funky sunglasses which I always break!

Seven things that annoy me:
7 - Prejudice
6 - SpongeBob SquarePants... why?
5 - Being treated like a doormat by people who I cared about
4 - People who are rude to waitresses/waiters, and general rudeness or people on power trips... seven isn't enough :P
3 - Bitchy shop assistants. There are shops I avoid cos the girls are snotty and ones I go to cos I like the people.
2 - Kids. I hate 'em. Grow up and get a job already :P
1 - Smoking

Six places I've visited or intend to:
HAVE VISITED:
6 - Greece
5 - Portugal, where I lost my boyfriend to Superbock beer :P
4 - France France France
3 - Menorca - Son Bou Beach!
2 - Berlin
1 - Buckingham Palace, picnic on Liz's lawn no less :)

INTEND TO/DREAM OF:
6 - New York. Massive Surprise
5 - European Cities: Rome, Copenhagen, Prague
4 - New Orleans
3 - Canada
2 - Japan
1 - Maldives/Mauritius/Hawaii

Five things I want to do before I die:
5 - Visit all the places mentioned above, and then some
4 - Adopt a child (I figure I won't hate my own)
3 - Win an Oscar, or at least go to the ceremony looking glam :)
2 - Live in a gorgeous house by the sea
1 - Have a job that I love

Four things I'm afraid of:
4 - Flying :( A major spanner in the works
3 - Rejection, despite mucho experience :P Actually, I think I'm more scared of spiders...
2 - Getting old
1 - Death... but that's a given? The C word

Three things I do every day:
3 - Say "I love you" to someone I love
2 - Write
1 - Be late for something

Two things I'm trying not to do now:
2 - Procrastinate... going soooooooo well
1 - Worry

One person I want to see now:
1 - My lovely boyf :)