Three Times A Lady

'Muffin wanted to play at interviewing but couldn't be bothered updating his blog, so he emailed me some questions instead. MJ also wanted to interrogate me but I don't want to inundate you guys with these things so he agreed he'd just get me drunk and ask me (they were quite private bloody questions anyway, the perv!) Apparently, I am at my most candid in writing and after a few SoCo and lemonades. This is actually quite true; the Too Much Information inhibitors completely shut down and once I'm a little tipsy I'll tell you pretty much anything if you ask me nicely.

1. If you had to describe yourself using 5 adjectives, what would they be?

Loyal. I was born in the Chinese year of the dog. Stop giggling! (I know, despite that I still consider myself loyal, you think I have a personality disorder maybe?)

Analytical. I am far, far, far too introspective for my own good.

Flaky. I could commit myself to one path and make it work if I really wanted to, but I get distracted by the silliest things. I'm using flaky to mean 'unfocused' here, not cursed with dandruff.

Flirtatious. I know I'm a flirt, and not a particularly good or subtle one either. I don't mean it in a sexual way; it's part of my sense of humour. I enjoy flirting, it's funny, and it makes people smile. I flirt with my friends; I flirt with 'Muffin all day long. I flirt with Mybug. My sister is the same. The only friend I don't tend to flirt with is Dedalus.

Open. I think I can be a difficult person to get to know, because I live in my head, but I don't mean to be. Ask me a question and you'll always get a frank answer. I'm not secretive and I like getting to know people. Yet few people know the real me. See also: SoCo and lemonade.

The acronym for my five adjectives would be LAFFO. Tee hee. (Maybe silly should have been one of my adjectives?)

2. Fast-forward 5 years from now. What would you like to be doing?

Omigod I will be thirty. Let me lie down for a moment.

By the time I am thirty, I want to be a published novelist, or a magazine columnist. I would like to be knocking around the Mediterranean in my sail boat, wearing white a la SJP in Failure to Launch, drinking champagne (it will be Thursday) and straddling a tanned, nubile young man. Or a tanned 35 year old man, which is the age Boyf will be! I want the salty sea breeze in my hair, and a big sparkly diamond on my finger.

Hello, sailor!

3. Do you believe in having regrets?

No. I believe in over-analysing the regret until you talk yourself into believing that there was absolutely no alternative course of action available to you. Like so:

Q: Oh my God, why did I tell Alfie I'd leave my boyfriend of eight years for him? Come on too strong much?
A: Ah, but, if I hadn't said that, he'd just think I was a big ol' ho who would willingly cheat on her boyfriend with any bloke she quite fancied the look of.
Q: Couldn't I have just left the chat altogether?
A: Yes, that would have been wise, but at the time I was going completely mad not knowing where I stood and I had to work with the fucker. Besides, this is not where it all started to go wrong, so I may want to choose another factor to obsess about.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

4. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?

Yes. Although I did consider asking if you had ever seen The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in answer to the next question.

5. Tomorrow you have the opportunity to change one major thing in your life, what would that be?

If I could change one thing in my life tomorrow, I would wake up cured of my elusive little health problem. It sounds ridiculous because it is (hopefully) nothing major, but I can't express the sense of freedom it would give me for it to just disappear. I would have a whole new lease of life. It would be like a weight lifted off my shoulders - all that stress would just vanish in an instant. It would feel like when you blow a dandelion that has gone to seed, all those bits of white fluff just floating away on the breeze. I would be more confident and happier in myself. I would feel less trapped and more able to do the things I want to do. I've a feeling it's going to be a long process, but hopefully that will be the case one day. I'm working on it, anyway.

It's been a swell ride, but *BNI will now resume normal service!