In the Cut

Okay, guys. I know I asked for your advice and then went and did whatever the ballyhoo I wanted anyway. But believe me, you are in good company. I completely ignored my sister's considered opinion as well. I decided to go with 'Muffin's short and sweet 'Oh for fucks sake will you text him you're doing my head in already.'

So. I sent a simple Hey, I just heard, you okay? He answered, saying he didn't have a scratch but his car was dead. I replied Ah well at least you're okay, that's the main thing. Alfie rides again. (I actually refer to him as Alfie. It's our little joke.) He sent an amused reply. And then, I left it.

I feel good about it. I was the grown up - as per. And then I moved on.

Well, as far as he knows, anyway!

The thing is, I have reached a final conclusion about Alfie and I. Any attempt to pursue things would only lead to frustration. He is never going to get what he wants from me (sex); I'm never going to get what I want from him (love).

Hate to be such a fucking cliche but there you have it, the central dilemma of our pseudo-affair.

Maybe one day. But not now. For now, I need to put Alfie back on the shelf. Preferably a high shelf I need a kick-stool to reach. Maybe, just maybe, I'll forget he's even up there.