Theroux the Looking Glass

I am loving this recent trend for interviewing in the blogs I frequent at the moment, so when Wondy asked me to give her her third grilling, I just had to know what questions she would ask me. Plus, I'm really liking interviewing others, you hardly ever get the answers you expected. (And I still haven't finished that chapter!)

1. Who is your number one style icon (real or celebrity, it doesn't matter?)

I wouldn't say that I have any one style icon from the celeb world, but I often flick through magazines and think: I need that outfit. I think Cat Deeley always looks happy and healthy and effortlessly glamorous. Rachel Bilson nearly always looks cute and stylish. Jennifer Aniston is beautifully immaculate. But I am much more likely to find inspiration in the women around me, particularly my niece, Tink, who should seriously consider a career in fashion in my humble opinion. Nearly everything she buys, I'm like, I need that too! I covet her wardrobe like you wouldn't believe. If only we were the same shoe size, we could join forces and have a collection to rival Imelda Marcos (we often buy the same pair.) She just has a natural eye for what suits her and it helps that she is adorable and spends a fortune on fashion. (But she does shop at Primark, too.) It was her dress I borrowed for my first night out with Alfie in an attempt to knock his socks off. I was complimented on it the whole night.

I don't always - or often, even - get it right and can't always be bothered trying either (taking Bertie to the park in white jeans and wedges like many girls I see? No. Getting dressed up to go to Asda? Nada.) but I do love dabbling in fashion and there are few things that give me as much pleasure as an outfit I feel is well put-together. There is a pair of earrings with my name on them at the moment in Miss Selfridge; I spotted them in a magazine but I haven't been to check out if they are in store yet. They are only £3.50 but I want them oh-so-much (and have the whole outfit planned in my head, despite the fact that I own none of the items.)

UPDATE: I now need the grey dress Rachel Bilson is wearing in that picture.

2. What are your ambitions in life - you've talked about writing, etc - but imagine you can have what you want tomorrow - what would it be?

Does this include suddenly acquiring skills I don't have? Because my all time dream would be to be able to sing. I know this is totally a lame-ass dream - what am I, 15 prancing around making up dance routines with my mates and calling ourselves something trite and vomit-inducing? (I can't remember the actual trite and vomit-inducing name me and my equally talentless mates went by, but I'm pretty sure there was one along the lines of Pussycat Dolls or Girls Aloud.) It just seems so empowering, and I really admire women with voices like Aretha Franklin, Annie Lennox, and Beverley Knight (I bought tickets to see her in October yesterday, woooot!) I would love to perform on stage, even if it was only at a karaoke night at the local bar. Unfortunately I sound like cat being strangled. By Cilla Black.

In terms of ambitions I might actually get off my arse and start working towards, if I could walk into a book shop tomorrow and see rows of novels with my name on the spine on the shelves - or you know, preferably being dragged off the shelves by frenzied shoppers - that would really be an ambition fulfilled. I badly want to travel and have unspecified adventures so that when I am old I can look back and think, I have lived, but I really don't know where to start and there's a voice in my head that whispers a little menacingly you would not survive. There are also several voices outside my head telling me quite frankly, you would not survive.

In short, I don't really have plans or ambitions, I have pipe dreams. I would quite like to end up in a little crooked house by the sea in Cornwall though.

I'd also quite like to go to the Oscars. Me and MJ are fighting over who gets to marry Daniel Craig at the moment, I figure he's my ticket in... Once he's married to Mr. Craig, MJ can sneak me in for sure.

3. Who is your best friend and what makes them your best friend, bar none?

Ahhhh. You've put me in quite a pickle here. I'm going to say two men who read my blog, but that's not why, I swear! (I am also shamelessly sidestepping the 'bar none' clause of your question!)

MJ. Because we share something that nobody else can ever appreciate. He is a fiercely private person and because of this it's sometimes difficult to include him in other parts of my life. He and Boyf hardly know each other, despite the fact that Boyf and I are coming up to our eight year anniversary. You know the saying, no man is an island? MJ is my island. He's bloody Ibiza.

'Muffin. Now, I don't know if this will come as a surprise to some or not, or even to the man himself. Even though in the grand scheme of things, we haven't been mates that long (coming up to a year though!) 'Muffin has been there for me through some very trying times. Specifically, he's been there for me when I know I've been very trying! He takes me seriously, even when I am being daft. He goes above and beyond the call of duty to make me laugh - you know what I'm talking about 'Muffin! And also, although I don't want to encourage this in him too much, he tells me when I need to get a fucking grip. He can be counted on to give an honest opinion - like he'll tell me when I look a state, which means that I can trust him when he tells me I look nice. He values friendship as much as I do, and even though we have our ropey moments or minor disagreements, I think he knows that he's a special person in my life and that my life is better because of him.

('Muffin, extreme statement #2: If you skit me about this in work, I will fucking kill you.)

4. Would you ever go out with a much older man (say 15 years plus) if you were really attracted to him?

Although I cannot imagine at this moment in my life being attracted to someone who was 40+, recent experience has shown me that if I have strong enough feelings for someone, I'll do pretty much anything to be with them. I'm sure overlooking a 15 year age gap wouldn't come without its setbacks but if you were into someone enough it would be worth it.

I've also come to realise that if you love somebody you don't give a toss what anyone else thinks. Because my Boyf is such a hottie, it makes me feel good that out of all the women he could have had, he chose me. When certain of my friends used to try and make herself look better by putting me down, I used to think, pah, well my boyfriend's better looking than yours, love! Very shallow, I know, but worked every time. I used to think I would miss that though, that pride at being seen with him. But nearly everyone I know is anti-Alfie; they can't understand what I see him, and I don't care. So if you managed to find someone who you were crazy about and who actually made you happy too? Easy.

I'm sure there are plenty of concrete points to be made against going out with a much older man, but personally I feel most obstacles are surmountable if you both try hard enough.

5. Would you consider any sort of plastic/cosmetic surgery?

Yes, and no. Personally, I think you should work with what you've got. Surgery for cosmetic reasons seems a little extreme, unless there are mitigating circumstances. Of course, there are plenty of things I would change about myself. Like, I would definitely have a nose job. But I have seen those programmes and what they do and I am not willing to put myself through that. Boyf likes my nose, for some bizarre reason. I think if everyone went around correcting their flaws then faces would be boring. It's often supposed flaws in peoples features that I find attractive.

There you go love, excellent questions, and as thanks I've even stuck a pic of Zach Braff in there for your enjoyment!