Everyone I have ever slept with...

As if! Who do you think I am, Tracey Emin?

Even though it happened ages ago and I haven’t even been to see it yet, while I’m on the topic I just have to big up her sculpture near Liverpool’s Anglican Cathedral, cos it’s not like you see a little bird sitting on top of a pole every facking day! Gawd. She’s mad, I like her. And, it could have been worse.

So, last night we had a Big Brother party. We made lots of yummy food, drank wine, and prepared for jaw-dropping vulgarity. We weren't disappointed. The most normal person in there is a self-described black, gay, fox-hunting Tory, with a deep love of Margaret Thatcher! But that's judging from their auditions. The way to pass a Big Brother audition it seems, is to be as OTT as possible, and I reckon most of them will settle down once they're in there. For those of you not in the least bit interested in Big Brother, I apologise. It's my summer obsession.

I got feedback from my tutor today about some work I sent him, and now I really have to get down to business. This feels really weird, since normally at this time of year I've just got all my work out of the way and am looking forward to summer. Boooo, I say.