Trick Me

This week was Mybug's birthday and he celebrated at Heebie Jeebies. Unfortunately, I couldn't make it, and I really wanted to go, I have a new dress to wear and everything. I am so in need of a good night out after all this studying, I cannot tell you. Once this is over, I'm really going to let loose - with anyone who will join me, frankly.

Yesterday I took a night off and invited Dedalus over. We watched The United States of Leland, which was pretty good and featured a solid cast, including the cute little kid from Freaky Friday, Mr. Rachel McAdams, and the rather underrated Don Cheadle. We had a good long chat before we put the movie on too. And I learned how he likes his tea. It was nice, if a little "sparky".

The thing with Dedalus though, is that whenever he meets a girl, I know before he even tells me. And I know when he's stopped seeing her too. How do I know this? Purely from the tone of his text messages. Single, he is real eager to meet up and make dates, suggesting movies and places we should go; when there's a girl on the scene, I get lots of vague references to his 'hope' of meeting up 'soon'. I'm sure this is natural and that I would probably be the same if I met someone new, you tend to forget anyone else even exists if there's a new love in your life. But Dedalus has a history here, and it makes me nervous. Well, not nervous. Hesitant. Do I keep my guard up with him, waiting for him to meet his next serious girlfriend and get real busy, or do I let myself relax into the friend thing, and accept him as part of my life again?

I just keep thinking of that old saying: fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...

I guess it's not that big a deal. Judging on past performance, arm's length is probably the best place to keep him.

Je Reviens

Saturday, I went to see this.

I was pretty much expecting it to blow and went for nostalgic purposes, but it was decent enough and me and Dedalus had a laugh over it. Splinter's voice is just wrong. His accent is slurred: sensei had been at the sake. Not a patch on the old school films though, there weren't as many one-liners as I remember, and April had turned into some sort of Indiana Jones type figure. They left room for a sequel.

After the film, we went for milkshakes and Dedalus sprung that old chestnut: did I say anything stupid when we went out? on me about five times. Then he walked me to meet Boyf at La Tasca. Not weird in the least!

When I walked into the bar and saw Boyf waiting for me, I actually got this warm fuzzy feeling inside. I thought, damn, you're gorgeous. My boyfriend is seriously hot. I don't know how the fuck I scored him. We went for Mexican food and got drunk on a bottle of wine. Checked out the Everyman bar but weren't very impressed. Seem to remember him annoying me in the taxi on the way home by involving me in an argument about racism with the driver as if I was some sort of representative of all things politically correct. He thinks I'm naive because I disagree with him whenever he makes a generalisation.

Swings and roundabouts, eh?

Sunday we went for a bike ride in the park, which was lovely. Today, I am totally meant to be studying, but have spent the day looking for something to wear when I go out for my birthday next week. That's a whole 'nother can of worms.

I'm not thrilled about turning 25, but I much prefer it to the alternative of not turning 25.

Oh, also, I saw The Return, a movie which should be avoided at all costs. It was soooo slow, without any genuine shocks or surprises, and left me completely unmoved and uninterested. Okay, so I wasn't really expecting anything wonderful when I sat down to watch it, but even I enjoyed House of Wax. I will say one thing though; I really love Sarah Michelle Gellar's hair colour in it.

Although, judging from this picture it looks like blondes do have more fun.

Before the Law

Had a couple of busy days re: Dedalus. We met up to see a movie on Thursday (Hot Fuzz) and had milkshakes and fries at the diner. It was nice. The movie was funny, but criminally underutilised Bill Bailey. Both of him.

Incidentally, on the way home from town, my bus was pulled over by a siren-flashing police vehicle, and a male officer got on the bus. He started walking slowly to the back; everyone just sort of fell out of conversation and stared, waiting for someone to make a run for it or some scuffle to occur. He looked at the guy sitting adjacent to me and said, "Can we have a chat with you, mate?" The guy said, "Yeah, okay," accompanied him ever so amenably off the bus, and was promptly arrested. I have to admit that there was a moment where I wondered if he was actually going to turn out to be a male stripper, and make someones birthday. But we all know how my mind works by now.

"Tickets, please."

Talking of movies, you remember the whole number 23 debacle? Well, Dedalus has since worked out that both his long term relationships lasted 23 months. And he split up with girl #1 on the 20th of March. And girl #2 on the 13th of October. Spooky shit!

So, yesterday - the second day, of the third month might I add - we got our glad rags on and hit the town for drinks, to celebrate Dedalus' new job, which he starts on Monday. The night started off well, I wore my new shoes (which hurt like I can't even think what might hurt as much, some medieval torture device perhaps, or improperly operated eyelash curlers), and he was on top form, in a comedic sense. However, by the time we left Modo's, the night had taken a different turn. (There was a weird moment on the way to Modo's actually where he slowed down and sort of leaned in, but I was like, "Keep walking, dude, keep walking.") We went to Mybug's bar - he's really cute in his uniform - for a quick one and then stepped outside to deliberate where to go next. It was raining really heavily so I took off my coat and used it to shelter my hair and he ducked under it too and started trying to kiss me.

I was not having it. Anyway, eventually, I untangled myself from the situation and we went to Tea Factory, at which point I realised that I'd lost one of my beloved hoop earrings and had been walking around with only one in like a scurvy buccaneer (my eye makeup was probably looking a bit Jack Sparrow by this point too.) I am so upset. Switched to drinking water and stumbled through a chat about how much we have in common and how we don't even have to try we both just get on so well. I suggested that was a good foundation for a friendship and didn't necessarily mean anything more should happen. He said he wanted more and he'd been really nervous about meeting me that night. I said he was feeling like this because of girl #2. He said no, it had always been me.

Bars were closing and this seemed like a good time to make a sharp exit in any case. Before we parted ways, he asked if he could see me again over the weekend and I said we'd sort something out, but I do think a spot of space is called for.

I'm shocked he is doing this when not only does he know about Boyf, he knows (a little) about Alfie. Or maybe that is why he's doing this... maybe he thinks I am looking for something else... Aw, crap.

It Takes Two

Last night I had a date with Dedalus. We hit the tapas bar for sangria, then took in Jim Carrey's new movie, The Number 23. As an aside, Dedalus was born on the fifteenth of August. 15 + 8 = 23. There are 23 letters in his name. You think I should be worried?

It was so strange meeting him. It was like a rerun of the Alfie date, without the nudity or the part where I allowed myself to sleep in a bed underneath a fake fur throw. (Dude, you'll be installing mirrored ceilings next, wanna stop being such a kissable cliche?) I got a lift into town and was dropped off in the same place. I walked the same walk. And I waited in the same spot where Alfie stood waiting for me. Then I drank two sangrias and felt tipsy: nothing new there. (Staff in that bar must be like, heyyy, there's that whore again!)

Similarities end there. Dedalus and I actually converse and everything, without me doing all the work, it's totally refreshing. I wore my blue dress and the Faith boots. He looked pretty cute.

We'd got to talking about tricky subjects again the night before on MSN, but luckily no mention was made while we were out. He kept saying stuff like that he wished I was his girlfriend and he wants me to know he never stopped liking me and did I ever like him back then? I was firm but fair, and asked him if he was sure it was a good idea to see each other if that was how he felt. But he reckoned he was fine with it and he knew nothing was going to happen, it just mattered to him how I felt about things in the past. I think we should maybe cut out the 2 am chats though.

The movie itself was interesting but a little convoluted towards the end. It introduced certain characters too late for you to care and they drive towards wrapping up the plot a little too overtly, if that makes sense. It's like the ending of a Scooby Doo episode where they explain everything and pull off the scary mask to reveal it's actually been the janitor all along. Worth seeing though, if only to freak Dedalus "23" out.

Awkward moment of the night: "What was the name of the bar we always went to? Studio 50-something? Maybe it works out to three times 23... oh no, that's..." - Dedalus

Smile

Whoa, I actually feel happy and cheerful right now, WTF? Someone press a cold flannel to my unfurrowed brow, stat. I was merrily listening to Lily Allen and chatting to 'Muffin last night when I noticed something was different. It feels good.

Yesterday noon, I hopped on the bus and rode it into town. I was due to meet Dedalus for milkshakes at 3 o'clock, but I had some time to kill before then and, well... I was a little bit naughty. Naughty, but nice! Could these be the source of such contentment?

Oh yes, my friends. I'm back!

With a vengeance!

Dedalus actually went with me while I tried the heels, and we browsed the shelves of Waterstones together too. It was nice book shopping with a boy. He bought trashy thrillers and has read everything by Dan Brown, but still. I like the Black Eyed Peas, how can I possibly judge? I managed to resist buying any books, which was a small victory for my bank balance. Patrick Suskind's Perfume was even in the 3 for 2 offer! Dedalus says he's never seen me happier than when I was buying shoes. I should always be shoe shopping.

We talked about American politics, jobs, and um, Top Gear, over our shakes and then walked aimlessly around town chatting. Well, truth be known the aim was the find a movie to watch but neither cinema had anything much going for it so we bid farewell and took a rain check on the movie. While we were walking, he asked me about a comment I'd made about not wanting to lead him on because I knew how it felt and it wasn't nice. (Yeah, I'm this subtle in real life too!) I told him a little bit about Alfie - the bite size version. The simplicity of the bite size version was actually kind of good to hear - it all sounded much more manageable and, I don't know, everyday. I wrapped it up with: "Anyway, he's got a new girlfriend. It's over."

Truth be known, I had a mini-crisis on Friday and almost text Alfie. Nothing heavy, just to see how he is. But I told myself just to wait one more day and then I could text him. But yesterday, I didn't even want to. I was in a good mood and I didn't want to spoil it, and I think I kind of didn't care. Snaps for me! (Or Schnapps, I think I should get Schnapps.)

Anyway, so we had this awkward conversation about the past again which, yes he keeps bringing up but I think we've dealt with it now. I told him I thought he was cheeky to even be bringing stuff like that up because he was out of my life for so long and then he comes back on the scene dragging up ghosts from three years or so before. He agreed. We reached an understanding about the whole leading people on issue, and I told him that I wasn't agreeing to see him for anything like that, but that we were close once and it would be a shame to throw that away. He agreed :P But it was sincere I think, and even though it was a little bit awkward, I feel better about us.

Oh yeah, and then after me explaining some of the Alfie palaver, I asked him why he and his ex really split. He said: "She met someone else, basically."

Doh.

But look again at the boots! How can I feel anything but triumphant? I may even do my happy dance.

Hmmm, one step at a time.

A.L.F.

I'm tired after an exhausting day stripping (wallpaper). The Boyf and I are working on our bedroom. We also filled all the holes in the wall, knocked out a vent, and painted the ceiling. Lots more work planned for the next couple of days! Ahhh, there's nothing like a project to keep your mind off things!

In other news, had a bit of an awkward conversation with Dedalus on MSN while I was on my late night in work yesterday. One minute, we were talking about shoes (well, I was talking about them, he was probably rolling his eyes and stifling a yawn) the next minute, he said he'd like to take me out.

Chica: Take me out?
Dedalus: To town for a night out.
Chica: Yeah we could go for a few drinks or something, but 'take me out' sounds a bit... non-platonic.
Dedalus: I know.
Chica: Oh. Well if we did go out, it would be purely platonic for me.
Dedalus: OK.
Chica: Do we need to talk about this?
Dedalus: I dunno. Not now.
Chica: Okay. I don't want to lead you on though, it's not nice. And I think you're kind of "on the rebound" for want of a better phrase.
Dedalus: OK (my real name).
Chica: Shall I shut up?
Dedalus: You want to do something later this week?

Is it just me, or is he a cheeky bastard? I mean, I'm being careful of his feelings and everything, because recent events have made me very sensitive to the perils of rejection. But, he comes back on the scene after an absence of almost two years and thinks that this is okay? Sheesh.

Let's have a slice of Mybug so that I don't start to sound like a complete man hater. He text me today asking how I was, and when I replied he rang me a second later to make sure I was okay because he said I sounded down ("been better, been worse.") I assured him I was fine in my chirpiest voice and he scatted for a bit, then I thanked him for calling. Kinda thoughtful of him, don't you agree?

'Muffin also brought a Thank You card into work for me yesterday for his birthday present, the loon. It's nice to know that some people appreciate you though, and we also had a good old bitch about Alfie, pictured below.



Petty, but satisfying :) It's funny the little things that can make you feel better, such as the email that popped into my inbox from my sister entitled: RE: that bastard. High road, schmigh road.

Riding in Cars with Boys

I have the house to myself tonight. At first I was going to call one of the girls and get them over, but then I reconsidered in favour of some me time. I cooked, while listening to Patsy Cline and The Rat Pack. Later, I will watch Big Brother. If I had Doritos, they too would be involved in the plan.

This morning, I got up, went downstairs and put on some tea. I went into the conservatory and moved a photo album to sit down. My niece had been flipping through it the night before while we had our hair cut. (We have family sessions with a stylist who is friends with my sister.) I turned to the pictures at the back of the album while the kettle boiled. Alfie. I had already begun to think about the fact that it had been a month since I heard from him, and that I was going to have to emerge from beneath his spell. I kind of gave myself until today to stop wallowing, since it was meant to be the night out with 'Muffin and I thought it would be an appropriate bookend to the whole thing. I looked at a picture of Alfie and thought... well, you weren't what I expected you to be.

I finished making my tea and took it upstairs. I set up my laptop and checked my emails, including my work emails out of habit. A few times I have caught myself thinking: please, please, please while doing this. (Hey, I'm not proud of the fact!) But not this morning. And then, before I knew it, I was opening a message from Alfie: "Hello there, it's been a bit quiet from you lately. How's tricks?" he sent it around 9 in the morning. I waited until around lunch time to reply. This gave me plenty of time to text my sister and freak out. She offered me some firm advice: email him back but don't be over friendly and don't mention his birthday x let's know x

Anyway, in short, we had a tiny bit of banter, then he said he was off to lunch and told me to have a nice weekend and tell the sis the clit tease says yo. He has a real way with words :P The highlight of the emails was probably when I asked him how he was settling into his new workplace:

Chica: Walking round like you own the joint by now then yeah? ;)
Alfie: What dya mean, "like i own the joint". I do ;-) Alfie is in town

I've not let myself get too excited about it, but I am pleased he got in touch and it wasn't awkward. I think this makes it acceptable for me to text him sometime, maybe just forward a joke on to him or something, to keep the lines of communication open. Not with any goal in sight, but just because I like him and would like to try and be normal around him and treat him like my other male friends if possible. I was thinking the other day about how crazy I let myself get over him and how a lot of it was really unnecessary. If I text Mybug and he doesn't reply, it doesn't bother me in the least. I don't have a crisis and think he hates me. But I totally over analyse everything with Alfie, and it has to stop if I want any kind of shot at getting through this without a broken heart and/or a restraining order. Even if I never hear from him again, I think I've come off quite good. I held out for ages and didn't contact him; he contacted me; I was friendly but not overly flirty; a kind of friendly stalemate has been resumed. Now, if I bump into him I won't be thinking: oh my god I want to die this is the guy who rejected me, and he won't be thinking, oh fuck how awkward.

I'm sure this isn't the last loop of the roller coaster, but for now I'm quite content with things. My sister popped in before Dedalus picked me up and couldn't stop laughing at me. She kept saying: look at your face, you're smiling now!

Oh, Dedalus is another matter. Bobby was excellent, the ending was particularly well done, and the approach was really interesting and not at all what I expected. After the film, Dedalus gave me a ride home because we went to a cinema close to where I live. Since there was nobody home, I invited him in for a cuppa. And he freaked out. It was like he panicked, eventually declining the offer. Then he started to explain why and cut himself short and said to leave it. I was like, "Erm... okay." I was offering the guy tea not permission to ransack my body. He asked what my plans were for the weekend so I gave him a brief overview and then we said goodbye.

I let myself in and had a little chat with 'Muffin on MSN. Then the phone rang. It was Dedalus, apologising for not coming in. I told him not to worry and that I wasn't offended. He said he wished he had. I was like, "Well... no worries. I just thought we could have a chat 'cos we didn't get much chance to while we were watching the film." He agreed, then started going on about how he likes me, and even though he said it was his exes fault we'd stopped talking, it was also because he liked me and I was always with the Boyf. I said, "And I still am." He said things hadn't changed for him. I said, "Well it was all a long time ago." He repeated that things hadn't changed for him! I said, "It was two years ago! This is really hard to talk about not in person." He agreed. He asked if he could see me over the weekend, and I said I wasn't sure of my plans but I'd let him know if I was in town and we could meet up if he was free. We stumbled over a couple more niceties and hung up. He's text me since. I really wish he wouldn't force this issue because I really want to be friends but if he's going to be saying stuff like that I'm not sure we can. Plus, this totally smacks of rebound to me.

In the words of Avril Lavigne: why d'you have to go and make things so complicated?

The Pursuit of Happyness

The film was great. Will Smith is excellent and his kid is super cute. Inspirational stuff and all very well acted. Treated with bathos which is very effective and there are some touching and funny parts all done with subtlety. I'd recommend it, unless you're in the mood for a fast paced thriller, because it's quite slow and doesn't have much action. I really enjoyed it.

The company was quite good as well. I'm still a bit unsure but it is nice meeting up with Dedalus and reminds me of my uni days. He also said he was sorry for being such a crap mate and that that was what he'd meant to say the other day over coffee but he didn't express it very well. He said it wouldn't happen again. He may very well be full of shit though as he said that he thought I looked like an actress from 24. I don't watch it so he assured me it was a compliment and I said I'd go home and Google it and it better not be Pat Butcher. I'm pretty sure that when a guy tells you that you look like this, when you know you are actually closer to resembling Pat Butcher there are ulterior motives at work. But I cannot be bothered worrying about that right now.

What would make me happy right now is if my dissertation was finished. I have an appointment with my tutor on Thursday and I think maybe he'll bitch slap me into shape. Will probably be meeting up with Dedalus again after the meeting because my uni is right near his house. See how easy this is? Alfie apparently drives right near my house every day on his way to and from work. He also leaves his house at the same time I leave mine, so that if I did buy a car and start driving into work, I would probably frickin' pass him going the opposite way.

I need to stop mourning this non-fling, non-relationship, non-friendship, non-affair and get a bit blimmin' kick ass again. Moping is so not my colour. If I ever bump into him, I need not to be looking like a startled deer in the woods or a bunny in the headlights of a big fuck off truck. It would be rather good if I could look like this, but I would settle for looking happy. If I could also look as cute as possible that would be quite nice too!

Rehab

As I may have mentioned in passing, it's 'Muffin's birthday at the end of the month. What to get the man in my life who's my friend without harbouring any ulterior motives? The man who writes a wicked Christmas card and serenades me with Golden Girls theme tunes? In short, one of the best friends I have made in recent years or, indeed, ever? I need to get my thinking cap on.

We are hoping to go out on the last Friday of the month. He's inviting some other work people but I will probably meet them a bit later (since I don't work Friday's anymore, bliss!) Then he's staying over at mine, for his sins. We will possibly end up in The Living Room at some point. Apparently he's going to get drunk and take over the piano and I have to drape myself over it in an evening gown and sing I Will Survive. Perhaps the campest plan for a birthday celebration I have heard of but that's why you gotta love the 'Muffin! I'm really looking forward to it.

Of course, preparations for the outfit have already begun and I ordered myself some dresses off Warehouse the other day. I had to return one because I couldn't possibly squeeze my boobs into it but there are two others to choose from so I can start accessorising now. The one I had to return was typically the nicest too. But I suppose life goes on.

Today, I met Dedalus and went over an application form with him. He's applying for a job at my place and we dropped in today to print the form off and say 'hi' to 'Muffin. It was really bizarre being in there with him and introducing the two of them - like two worlds colliding. We had a bit of an awkward conversation over coffee about how his ex had asked him not to talk to me anymore. Apparently she knew he liked me and was threatened by me so he cut off contact because he loved her. He said he still loves her even though they're not together. He's having a difficult time with the break up I think and I'm not sure how to help. I showed him the photographs from the Christmas party and he was asking about Alfie. I'm an absolutely rubbish liar and completely transparent when I try to gloss over things so I think he suspects that I like him. He asked who looked after Puppy while we were away too so I had to tell him he died.

Anyway, we might be going to see The Pursuit of Happyness over the weekend, and I'm hoping to get a bit of studying done tomorrow. The Dedalus thing is really weird and I'm not sure how I feel about being friends with him again to be honest. I appreciate what he said about his ex but I just can't help feeling that he let me down. I don't know why he wants to be friends again or if it's too late to be friends again. It's nice to see him and stuff but, I don't know. Is it real? Am I a distraction of the rebound variety? Am I a doormat? Am I seriously stressing over another guy? Gah.

Tomorrow, no men. Dissertation. (About fucking time!)

Jenny Don't Be Hasty

Trying to write a blog post with The Fratellis on top volume in your headphones is more difficult than you might think.

The boys get lonely after you leave.

So I've come to the conclusion that I need - it is necessary - for me to stop spending so much time and energy thinking about Alfie and to start putting that energy into more rewarding pursuits. Why, yes like shopping! How did you know? But also studying, since my part time hours started this week! Oh yeah baby! Oh yeah!

(She says as she slides in the Paolo Nutini CD.)

This does not mean that I am going to stop talking about Alfie. Sorry to get your hopes up. I also plan to be continuing the silly daydreams, like the one I had last night about seeing him on Christmas Day. SUCKER should be written on my forehead!

As I am oft bemoaning today, it is now a week since Alfie "asked me out" and he still hasn't suggested anything concrete. He began his new job this week so it is possible for me to convince myself that this is causing some distraction. The last text he sent me was about his new job and finished with the words: "Jude has arrived." I didn't text back and now I'm playing this stupid waiting game again which drives me nuts!

Grant my last request and just let me hold you.

Anyhoo. There has been more contact from Dedalus, and all kinds of plans have been made. I repeat: why is it so easy with everyone BUT Alfie? Have I just selected the most awkward person in the world to lust after or what?!

However much you want me I swear I'll make you want me more.

I may be speaking too soon on the Dedalus front anyway as he keeps leading the conversation towards "the past." I'm going to have to sit him down I think and, without being too aggressive about it, let him know that it's just not going to happen. I'm taken. And if I'm about to have an affair with anyone, well it's not with him! *cringe*

So, as I said, time and energy being spent on something else! Hmmm. Wish me luck.

Politics

Okay. How to explain Dedalus. (Yes, don't be fooled by the title, I'm still on about men!) Dedalus is a guy I went to uni with. We were friends pretty much throughout uni, and at one time we were really close. We went through a weird phase when the Boyf was working away a lot and I was hardly spending time with him, and it started to feel like Dedalus was my boyfriend.

Now don't go judging me on my recent form because my recent behaviour is out of character and the whole Dedalus thing was totally different. For a start I never had the urge to rip the clothes off his back or writhe around underneath him in a tangled mess of bedsheets and lust and sweat and heat... ahem. As I was saying. I'm no slut :P

Dedalus and I kind of grew apart and anyway after the whole coupley stage things got really weird. I suppose we got to a place where we had to define our relationship. And we never really reached a middle ground on what that definiton should be.

Things limped along for a while, we stayed in touch, but neither of us was really motivated enough to keep seeing each other that much and, once Dedalus acquired a girlfriend, the seal of doom was stamped on our friendship. He called me up a few times when he needed to talk about his problems after that, but he never really reciprocated and eventually we lost touch.

Until he emailed me out of the blue last Friday.

I have to say I was a little nervous about seeing him again. We talked on the phone and MSN before we met up for lunch this week and it all went quite well so that was reassuring. And when I walked out of work and saw him standing waiting for me, I just couldn't help laughing. It was really bizarre seeing his face. It was like somebody put me in a time machine and sent me back about three years. We hugged and kissed and made our way to have lunch. It didn't feel awkward at all.

Over lunch, we chatted about nothing and caught up on some happenings, and then I asked him what prompted him to get back in touch. He said he felt bad about losing touch because I was a really good friend and still am, and that when he thought back to the uni days, they were good, but they were only good because I was there. Which is a bit of a huge compliment when you consider it. He brought up the "couple" phase but I said that I was sure we'd talked about it enough times in the past and he agreed and said we could avoid it.

Then I had one of my classic moments, and when attempting to put my cardigan back on, I fired about ten metal bangles through the air, which showered down on the (occupied) table beside us. Oh yes. All part of a normal day.

Anyway, we wandered through town and after a bit of indecision ended up going for coffee at the bookshop. We hung out until about three o'clock and then he headed off to catch his train. I marched to Monsoon to scoop the most gorgeous dress ever, except that it was sold out in my size. I held back tears. (I then found a pair of shoes that would have matched the dress perfectly, which were £20 off! That would never have happened if I'd got the dress!)

Since then we've been texting a little bit. (Yes, I've spent £50 on my phone this month, all from texting boys and my sister. The joys.) And today we decided, since his plans to see it fell through and 'Muffin fucked me off to study today, that we'll go and see the new (getting older) James Bond movie tomorrow. 4:15.

Why can't things be that easy with Alfie? "Hey, wanna see a movie?" "Sure."

I suppose it did take us six years to reach this point :P And ripping Alfie's clothes off in a public theatre would probably be frowned upon. For shame.

I Don't Want a Lover

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.

Was on a stupid course today about how to change the way you feel by attaching a different meaning to an action that might trigger a negative response in you. So, when Himself, known from now on as Alfie because Himself is just too problematic grammatically, and therefore in the spirit of progress: when Alfie doesn't bother to text back it is not because omigod he hates me he's totally lost interest but because he's out there having a life while I'm sitting waiting on his text message.

Yeah, that makes me feel so much better.

Okay. Note to Chica: get a life.

This week is my last full week at work. Next week I cut down to three days so I need to start thinking about how best to spend my study time.

I have tons of shopping to do this week, and a meeting with Dedalus to look forward to. I have to say I am super curious about that, but not entirely... I dunno. Convinced. I've been thinking a lot recently about friendship and what it means and who my real friends are. I do want to catch up with him and wish him well and everything but he's already let me down in the past. Is there a point? I get to the stage with some people where I just want to stop trying like I feel they have.

Maybe I will.

Boys Boys Boys

So, it's Friday and I've had the whole day off and done nothing. I was going to go Christmas shopping but then realised that Boyf was in possession of my cash card. A spot of clever planning for you there.

But it was still rather a strange and oddly productive day. I wrote out a Christmas list. I ordered some stuff off Play. And, upon checking my emails this morning I not only had the message from the (gloriously sexy) Himself but one from Dedalus, who is a friend from uni I haven't spoken to for about two years!

Furthermore, he said he'd wanted to contact me but had lost my email address and number (read: his girlfriend probably made him delete it), and so had tracked me down using the staff directory on the website for my workplace! Whoa, Nelly!

So, I emailed him back with my mobile number and after a preliminary text he rang me. He asked if he could call my home number and said that he remembered that but he hadn't wanted to use it because it seemed a bit random.

We're going to lunch or something next week.

When I told my boyfriend he said: "For God's sake, are you ever gonna spend any time with me?! You've got about four fellas on the go!" I asked if that was true, how come I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night? Boyf's having a boys night. Movies and junk food are on the agenda for me.

How random is that?

Another Place

I hadn't heard from Dedalus for a few weeks until this morning. The renewal of contact was disappointing in three important ways: 1) his text was a blatant 'hello don't forget its my birthday soon' message, 2) he bemoaned the fact that he is "so old" next week (he will be the same age as me), and 3) he is having a little competition with himself to see how many times he can mention his girlfriend's name in one message. I also heard from Mrs De Winter, whose e-mail was much more rewarding. She has met a bit of a dream boat by the sounds and thinks me and the boyf are a perfect match ;)

So over the weekend I felt pretty rubbish, but I managed to get out and about with Boyf for a bit on Sunday. We went to see this (own photos to follow... edit: um... Boyf accidentally deleted them), and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Potter also went to see the statues at the weekend and we compared sightings: I saw one with a rope around its neck and one with a hat on; he saw one with a mane of hair fashioned from seaweed and one wearing a cardigan. But I'm afraid I win as I saw a lad wandering around wearing nothing but a jumper wrapped around his waist to cover his naughty bits. I'm assuming he was either performing a demure tribute to the statues, or his mates legged it with his clothes in some schoolboy prank, the scamps! As for the film, I found it very enjoyable, despite Boyf's protests that it was "a childish kids film" and even though I couldn't understand the Oompa Loompa's when they were singing. I love the songs from the original movie. On the plus side, it was really well cast and the ending was better I think? We both agreed that hitting the Hut afterwards was a jolly good idea in any case, and shared a Stuffed Crust Supreme :)

And today? This morning I couldn't get the song I Don't Like Mondays out of my head. 'Nuff said. Curiously, the day picked up considerably at around 6 o'clock when I got home from work. Coincidence?

All Hooked Up

The week so far: Monday and Tuesday brought several attempts at hooking up - in the non-sexual sense - with a good old pal of mine. Attempt number one fell flat on it's face due to my being out having a scran (read: food, meal, slap-up) instead, and attempt number two shortly followed suit. We're going for it again next week, wish us luck! This left me free to go and see The Interpreter though, which was really enjoyable and very well done in my humble opinion, if you can get over the fact that a flute lesson is pivotal to the plot! I don't do film reviews beyond thumbs up or thumbs down, and sometimes I can't even give you that much (anyone doubting this should see my take on the films I watched the other week, in which Hide & Seek, The Ring 2, and Miss Congeniality 2 somehow mysteriously merge.) But I would totally recommend this film, (sorry Guillermo, there'll be other times :P) as Sean Penn is massively compelling and they handle the story really well. My delight may be tainted by the fact I got to see it half price thanks to a nifty buy one get one free voucher. How glamorous am I?

Beyond this, I've been job seeking, working, trying to master Pump It Up! The Ultimate Dance Work Out, feeding the ducks (oh, the excitement!) and planning an outfit for tomorrow night's Night on the Town. Yes! It's finally here! At the moment I'm considering risking a rather low cut affair, since I finally found a bra that I can wear under it. However, I do feel a shopping trip coming on :)