Girl with a Pearl Earring

FYI: I have been spending like a WAG possessed recently. I don't know who I think I am. You've seen the evidence of the weekend's splurge, and on Monday I popped into H. Samuels and treated myself to two pairs of earrings (one of which is pictured, left. I have them in right now. I think they're my favourites! Ahem, apart from the ones you got me 'Muffin. They obviously have enormous sentimental value as well as being lovely and my only pair of actual diamond earrings. And I do like them, despite what you think! I've blogged about them somewhere...) Check me out!

Speaking of which, who saw the shots of Coleen McLoughlin posing as figures from famous pieces of art last weekend?

Coleen gets ragged on for being famous for doing nothing except shop and turn a blind eye to her footballer boyfriend's dalliance with prostitutes a few years ago. But if someone handed me the opportunities she's had, I'd grab them with both hands and run too. Lucky cow!

I'd rather have Boyf than a footballer or any amount of money in the world; I'd quite like to just fall into a career in journalism (well, write my own fashion column, hello Mothership!) by virtue of shopping heavily though.

I'd say some girls have all the luck, but then she does have to sleep with Wayne, who has a habit of doing really stupid things like signing deals with The Sun newspaper, despite what they did to us after Hillsborough. My niece once dated him, and dumped him for being boring. That always amuses me.

Justice for the 96.

Persuasion

I'm not one to follow idiotic books like 'The Rules', because I think people and relationships are individual and should be evaluated on an individual basis, and also, I really hate being told what I should or shouldn't do. However, last Christmas, my mother bought me Lauren Henderson's Jane Austen's Guide to Dating, because, I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I am completely besotted with Austen and read Pride and Prejudice pretty much constantly. It looks really quite interesting if you've read a lot of Austen like me. Ooh, and there are little quizzes in the back of the book you know I will be doing later! I haven't really plumbed the depths of Henderson's book, but I picked it up today - MJ left it out after raiding my book shelf in the 'spare room' (walk in wardrobe/junkyard/home office) to post this - and I have to admit a few paragraphs I skimmed rang true to me. I particularly liked the chapter on not falling for superficial qualities. I may even get this tattooed on the inside of my arm for future reference, like cheating in a chemistry exam by sketching the periodic table out on your stomach (what, you never did that?):

LESSON TO BE LEARNED: DON'T FALL FOR FLASHY, CHARMING PEOPLE. What Not to Do: Don't Be Too Ready to Think You're Anything Special to a Player. - Henderson, L. Jane Austen's Guide to Dating, (London: Headline, 2005) p.119.

She don't want no scrub.

When I arrive at the party tonight, I shall be armed with the following catalogue of Don't's:

• Be fooled by charm. I can't say this often enough - someone who's too good to be true probably is. Take time to get to know him, and be wary of a man who's presenting himself as perfect.
• Date someone who's treating you like arm candy. You'll know soon enough what his true motive is - he won't ask questions about your life, your interests, or anything that really defines you as a person, not just a pretty face.
• Date someone because he has qualities you wish you had. Being with someone more gorgeous, or charming, or extroverted than you can be very seductive. But if you're doing it because you think you're lacking in those qualities, it will only make you feel more insecure - because he has what you think you don't. Work on your own self-esteem instead, and don't try to artificially boost yourself through your boyfriend.

- Henderson, p.131.

Tonight, I will be channeling Elizabeth Bennet. (Also played by Keira Knightley!) I will be silly and fun loving but ladylike, and if he is at all rude or presumptuous I will put him in his place!

That's the plan anyway. Yesterday, I was going as Lara Croft.

A laydee!

Book Worm

Tagged by the ever fabulous Wondy.

1. Grab the book closest to you.
2. Open to page 123, go down to the fifth sentence.
3. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog.
4. Name the book and the author.
5. Tag three people.

'Not any more.' Luisa is not joking.
With ironic deference, Brodie takes out the record from the gym bag.

- Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell

TAG: MJ, April, Guillermo (if you're not simply using your books to make a shrine for your Wii these days.)

I just skipped ahead in my book to do that and the tone of the text has completely changed. It's inspired me to dive back into that book, hurrah!

Kennedy: Ich bin ein Berliner...

Translation: "I am a doughnut." (Apparently rather spurious but I still like it.)



Having been inspired by Wondy - and not for the first time! - I have uploaded some of my old Berlin pics to Flickr. Not that they'll actually give you much of an insight to the city, because they're mainly of us gurning at the camera like idiots and generally looking quite rough. We were burning the candle at both ends, staying out late and having to get up at ungodly hours in pitch dark to be dragged around on orientation trips by our tutors. It was a uni trip. I was nineteen. And looking at the pictures has made me feel all nostalgic and old. But glad that I'm not still looking quite so rough. Seriously, I know I'm pale but I don't usually look like I've just been dug up. Or at least I hope not...

You'll be glad to know we did lots of cultural things too and didn't just spend our time in American diners posing for dodgy photographs - it was an educational trip after all. We had an amazing time and I would love to go back. We stayed in Schoneberg in this completely bizarre hotel. It was luck of the draw whether you got bathroom facilities or not - some people had en suites, some people (me!) had to use the communal bathrooms and others had free-standing shower units in the middle of their rooms with glass sides, so that while one person showered, the others all had to avert their eyes. (Crazy Germans.)

We went to the dodgiest nightclub, Eden, and unbeknownst to us it was a singles night. We were all walking around with these big heart stickers with numbers on them like we were at a cattle market. Then, without much ado, a male stripper cleared the dance floor and tried to make some poor innocent girl lick cream off his todger. Funnily enough I'm not in a particular rush to go back there...

We spent a lot of time around Oranienburgerstrasse and took a trip to Wannsee, which sits rather disjointedly at the edge of a housing estate. And we really got into zipping about on the subway, visiting Checkpoint Charlie - dwarfed by big shopping centres on either side - and The New Jewish Museum, which was awesome. As well as the main exhibition, which celebrates two thousand years of Jewish history, the museum has a lower floor comprised of three different axis which cut through each other. The walls of the Axis of Exile are dotted with the names of cities around the world to which Jewish people fled the Nazi regime, whilst the Axis of Holocaust depicts the names of concentration camps.

The exhibition displays all sorts of personal objects, like tea sets, hand towels and letters, and tells you what happened to the people who owned or wrote them. It was a more human treatment of the subject and made you really see the people behind all the facts and figures you're told in class - like a personal history as well as a brutal historical event. The building also has three specifically designed spaces to represent their experiences and they try to make you interact with the history as well as observing it.

One of these spaces is called The Memory Void. Israeli artist Menashe Kadishman’s (born Tel Aviv 1932) Fallen Leaves is contained within the Memory Void. Faces which seem to shriek in horror or pain, cut from metal in different shapes and sizes, form a ghastly carpet across the void’s floor. You are encouraged to walk across the faces but when we went there was just the two of us and we couldn't bring ourselves to do it.

I'd wanted to visit there since I saw a news item about its opening and I was really pleased that I got to see it. I would've liked to have spent more time in the main exhibition than we did but we were kind of having to stick to the subject matter our project was on. But I'd recommend it to anyone because it's really powerful stuff.

Oh, and we met some nutters on the subway, too. There were these two punk kids who just shouted "Fuck you, fuck you," at us, until Rach shouted "Zwanzig Euros," back in her best German accent, and there was some barmy Irish guy ranting and raving and asking for money. He stood right among our group for ages swearing his head off and then finally got off at one of the stops. My friend breathed a huge sigh of relief and this really dignified German man leaned forward and said with a wicked smile, "A friend of yours?"

Meh, I really want to go back now. The Boyf would freakin' love it.

Screwed

Boyf and I have been attempting a romantic week-long break in France for a while now. We agreed the date as 8th October and set about arranging our busy schedules around it. I booked the time off work, planned to shop in advance (didn't work, not sure what I'll be wearing now), and as of yesterday the ferry is booked and we have 2 possible cottages awaiting our arrival (still to be decided.) All sounds pretty sorted apart from the fact that I now have to go without him, because his stupid boss won't give him next week off. In fact, to add insult to injury he is sending him to work away next week and offered him this week off. He does this on purpose; he's such a hater. So I'm off to France as a third wheel. Whatever, it's better than cancelling the time off.

Last week Potter and I were discussing The Turn of the Screw. He asked me if I'd read it and then we both expressed how long it takes to read, despite being a really short novel. It's not even like the language is archaic or difficult; I think it's the syntax he uses, but for whatever reason, it just takes a long time to process. I had to read it in a few days for uni so I probably missed all kinds of significant bits, as it's something you need to take your time over. I remember the boyfriend was scared of the cover and used to make me hide it of a night, which reminds me of Friends when Joey kept The Shining in the freezer (and when I accidentally tore an arm off a teddybear when I was younger and hid it in the wardrobe.) I wish I had more time for reading. There are so many books I haven't read yet and so many that are crying out for a re-reading. Maybe I'll take a book to France to keep me warm since I'll be flying solo.

In other news, Potter attended a fondue party last night. Who knew the 70's were back?

From Henry James to the X Factor. We watched it last night, being the crazy kids we are. We so need to get a life! It was Saturday night for goodness sake! It can be pretty funny but I don't know if it will ever top the high point of the series so far, which has been the two Welsh girls that were on it a few weeks ago. They made me laugh out loud. Simon (of the Cowell) told one of them (go on, guess!) that she looked like Vicky Pollard. When they were interviewed afterwards, she was pretty angry and complained that Simon had no room to talk, since "he's not all that", to which her friend nonchalantly replied, to my complete amazement, "Oh I dunno, I'd still do him like!" Class.

Quote of the week: "I can't remember the last time I rubbed my eyes." Lila, on wearing mascara.

Another Place

I hadn't heard from Dedalus for a few weeks until this morning. The renewal of contact was disappointing in three important ways: 1) his text was a blatant 'hello don't forget its my birthday soon' message, 2) he bemoaned the fact that he is "so old" next week (he will be the same age as me), and 3) he is having a little competition with himself to see how many times he can mention his girlfriend's name in one message. I also heard from Mrs De Winter, whose e-mail was much more rewarding. She has met a bit of a dream boat by the sounds and thinks me and the boyf are a perfect match ;)

So over the weekend I felt pretty rubbish, but I managed to get out and about with Boyf for a bit on Sunday. We went to see this (own photos to follow... edit: um... Boyf accidentally deleted them), and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Potter also went to see the statues at the weekend and we compared sightings: I saw one with a rope around its neck and one with a hat on; he saw one with a mane of hair fashioned from seaweed and one wearing a cardigan. But I'm afraid I win as I saw a lad wandering around wearing nothing but a jumper wrapped around his waist to cover his naughty bits. I'm assuming he was either performing a demure tribute to the statues, or his mates legged it with his clothes in some schoolboy prank, the scamps! As for the film, I found it very enjoyable, despite Boyf's protests that it was "a childish kids film" and even though I couldn't understand the Oompa Loompa's when they were singing. I love the songs from the original movie. On the plus side, it was really well cast and the ending was better I think? We both agreed that hitting the Hut afterwards was a jolly good idea in any case, and shared a Stuffed Crust Supreme :)

And today? This morning I couldn't get the song I Don't Like Mondays out of my head. 'Nuff said. Curiously, the day picked up considerably at around 6 o'clock when I got home from work. Coincidence?

Everyone I have ever slept with...

As if! Who do you think I am, Tracey Emin?

Even though it happened ages ago and I haven’t even been to see it yet, while I’m on the topic I just have to big up her sculpture near Liverpool’s Anglican Cathedral, cos it’s not like you see a little bird sitting on top of a pole every facking day! Gawd. She’s mad, I like her. And, it could have been worse.

So, last night we had a Big Brother party. We made lots of yummy food, drank wine, and prepared for jaw-dropping vulgarity. We weren't disappointed. The most normal person in there is a self-described black, gay, fox-hunting Tory, with a deep love of Margaret Thatcher! But that's judging from their auditions. The way to pass a Big Brother audition it seems, is to be as OTT as possible, and I reckon most of them will settle down once they're in there. For those of you not in the least bit interested in Big Brother, I apologise. It's my summer obsession.

I got feedback from my tutor today about some work I sent him, and now I really have to get down to business. This feels really weird, since normally at this time of year I've just got all my work out of the way and am looking forward to summer. Boooo, I say.

Amity & Enmity

"...together in perfect harmony."

So far today I am mostly:- listening to Marvin Gaye. Quote from Zadie Smith, for making Guillermo smile purposes: "What a voice... It's like God took Stevie's honey and poured it over gravel." Zadie Smith, The Autograph Man, (London: Penguin, 2003. First published 2002), p.135. Footnotes are my life.

Lots of stuff between posts, but can't be bothered blogging most of it! Have acquired a new mortal enemy, a surprising one this time, though you hardly ever expect them. Tip of the day, that one. Saw Amityville Horror the other night, starring Melissa George AKA Angel from Home & Away. It was quite cheesy but effective. The general test for how scary a film has been is whether, after turning off the light, you RUN across the landing into your bedroom and hurriedly close the door behind you. This didn't happen, but I did run to switch it ON.

Took Puppy to the woods yesterday. It was a really nice evening but we did go a bit over the top on the old hiking and did about four miles. For the first half mile Puppy carried his lead in his mouth, tugging like crazy occasionally to be set free. He looks alternately like he's taking his darn self for a walk thank you very much, or like he's swallowed his lead. Eventually we let him off for a run and he ran straight into a marsh and got muddy up to his belly. Well done there Pup. On the plus side, he didn't bite any other dogs face! Progress!

Word of the Day: Spurious

Where for art thou?

Howdy. Not much to report. Yesterday brought a visit to the Tate. It was freezing cold walking around the dock but it was bright and the city looked gorgeous. Days like that make me appreciate living here. Anyway. I can't remember the name of the artist but one of the pieces of art was a guy standing on a box in London sucking helium and singing religious hymns. Creepy. One of the lines was 'all the little children' or something similar in this really eerie voice. I'll have nightmares about it! This little weird voice could be heard from the room with all the Picasso's and stuff in too. I was wondering what it was for ages. I think I prefer the Walker gallery, but it's nice to see different things. Then, food! I've stuffed myself silly this past week. It has to stop! Went into uni the other day too. Got inspired, almost. Planning lots of study days for next week. No, really this time.