Congratulations go out to my friend Mrs. De Winter, who will be an actual missus by this time next year! I am chuffed to bits that she has found a lovely bloke to settle down and start a little family with. She sent me some really cute photos of her, her man and her gorgeous pup the other day and is doing so well. I love it when friends get in touch with such good news (she lives in Cumbria.)
I should also extend my congrats to Jojo who got engaged to her fella a couple of weeks before I went away.
It seems like wedding fever at the mo' with quite a few people I know either tying the knot themselves or getting hauled off to weddings right left and centre. Mrs. W also wrote in an email earlier this week:
"This time next year I'll be Mrs. W*****! Am I old enough to be "Mrs W*****"? What's Boyf's surname-I forgot? Are there any wedding bells for you? Maybe this will serve as a hint for him."
Well, I would just like to say that I will never be a Mrs. Anything as long as I can help it. I have always said I will keep my maiden name and that any children I have will also have my name. Now this isn't in accordance with some feminist ideal I have set for myself, as my surname has a patriarchal lineage of it's own in any case - being my dad's name, his father's name, his father before that, etc. I once had this discussion with my mum, who suggested I take her surname instead, but then that's her father's name, so there is really no escaping the male dominance of family names. But I don't see why if I should get married I would have to change my name while Boyf would just keep the name he's had from birth. Also, I am very proud to belong to my family and of being my grandfather's granddaughter, so would like to keep the name as a testament to him.
Funnily enough this topic came up the other day while I was having lunch with Studmuffin, and he was appalled that I intended to give my kids my surname. We eventually decided that since we had such opposing opinions on the subject that we should simply agree to disagree and cancel all our plans to have children together. I told him the same thing I always tell the Boyf: any kids he gives birth to can gladly have his last name.
As for this 'hint' business, I think I am way too young to get married, so any hints the Boyf might be getting from me would only convince him not to bother!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I really think people let the pressure of other people get to them way too much. For a while I was having a really hard time because all of my friends were having babies. You just have to do what works for you though. What good would it be to join the marriage/baby club if you didn't want to? I think it's pretty cool that you are going at your own pace, doing it your way. More people should.
Well said! x
In Quebec, Canada women always (or so I've heard) keep their name and don't change it to their husband's last name.
I'm not sure what happens to their kid's last name, maybe it's optional.
-David
Post a Comment