Thornfield Hall

Hey you guyyyyys! (To be imagined in the style of Sloth from The Goonies.)

I don't know why, I just felt like a Sloth moment. Maybe because I'm at work wishing I could commit at least a few of the 7 Deadly Sins?

News on the job offer. I went over there on Sunday to check the place out and it is properly romantic! It's like something out of the pages of Jane Eyre, but you know, with less oppression and cruelty to children. Because it is so far away (300 miles of commuting a week anyone?) they said I could have a room there - they are like uni dorms and quite sweet, but the drawback is I'd really miss my Boyf during the week and it's in the middle of nowhere with just a few old librarians for company! I so want the job because it's a great opportunity and the bloke who would be interviewing me really seemed to be selling the place to me which suggests that he'd like me for the job, so I think I'd have a good chance even though I'm not strictly qualified for it (he said his eyes lit up when he spotted my CV on their file!) I get the idea it would be a much more relaxed place to work and they'd actually treat me like a grown up with something to offer rather than a kid to be ordered around all day like in my current job. But the commute is just too much, I'd be out of pocket by the time I'd paid all my expenses, and the holidays suck compared to what I get now...

Tell me to be sensible, tell me!

Wonders Never Cease

Firstly, a pic in honour of Wondy's 28th birthday! Happy Birthday! Follow this link for a rollicking good read.

Guess what chafes more, the rope or these pants?

Um, I have been asked to apply for a job in Wales (well, just over the border.) Looks like my eh what the hell I'm not qualified for this job but screw it I'll still apply technique has finally paid off! I was rejected for this position I applied for (that you needed a PhD for... ahem) but they wrote me again and said: hey here's another job you're not qualified for but we're not fussy wanna apply? It's better money than I'm on now, but not by much and I'd probably have to buy a car to feasibly get there and/or a place in Chester... or somewhere a bit closer that doesn't require a footballer's salary. Shit. Then I'll really be a fucking grown up.

Even though they've only asked me to apply and I haven't got an interview or whatever for sure I'm feeling pretty excited about it. Although it may not even be practical to work there (the place is absolutely gorgeous as well!) it just feels kinda cool that someone liked something about my application and got in touch - things like that don't generally happen to me.

In Her Shoes

So there's this student at work that keeps chatting me up all the time. He wears velvet jackets (todays was damson) and funky hats, and he feigns deep interest in the workings of the library. The other week he was asking loads of questions about what the reception desk is for and then admitted he just wanted an excuse to talk to me *blush* But now any time I have to serve him I get super embarrassed! When I let him avoid the queue by helping him take some books out, he was like "oh, you make me feel so special," then he rang the library to ask a question and asked for me (I was on the first floor and Weezer had to run around looking for me.) How do I tell him I have a boyfriend without him specifically asking and without looking like a moron who can't handle a bit of flirtation without assuming things?

In other news, I spent an absolute fortune on Sunday and got lots of Christmas pressies in, including my own! Yes, I finally gave into temptation and ordered the Sex and the City shoebox I was drooling over about a month ago :) The piece de resistance was the inflatable kayak I got for Boyfy - a bit of a splurge at £210, but then I thought "I just spent £150 on DVDs and knickers." I can't wait to see his face on Xmas day, he'll be so surprised. We had a good laugh at work planning how I could wrap myself up in it and jump out of a kayak, but I can't remember now why it was so funny (um, aside from the play on words, natch.)

Saturday we went to the pictures to see - not Harry Potter. The queues to get into the theatre to see Harry P were ginormous, and the ushers were all dressed in Hogwart-esque (presumably) school uniforms. I do wanna go see it eventually, maybe a bit nearer Christmas. We saw In Her Shoes, which was quite good but I think I wanted it to be funnier. It was a real feel-good film, and the theme of sisterhood hits home with me at the moment. But the part where Toni Collette's boyf proposes to her by putting an engagement ring on a shrimp? ...Fish finger anyone? Cameron played a very convincing bitch, and it made me cry. Plus, there are shoes, and oldies watching Sex and the City while drinking cocktails. I can't quite believe that the OAPs would have quite so many functions requiring glamorous attire to keep Cam in business, but eh, what can you do? Sometimes you just have to suspend your disbelief and enjoy these things.

Nobody Else

Who watched the Take That documentary thingy the other day?! I was a massive fan when I was like, 14, and wanted to marry Mark Owen, so I thought I'd have a look at it. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my folks were also watching it - they thought it was very sad that Robbie didn't turn up at the end! Me and my friend at the time, Laura, referred to ourselves as Take That comrades. It was all quite tragic and embarrassing, but thankfully we were never anywhere near as bad as all those fans they showed crying and screaming and doing things like telling their children Gary Barlow was their dad! It was the talk of the day with the girls at work too, and we all expressed the same sentiment: What the eff happened to Jason Orange's voice? I think his balls climbed back up or something? He didn't used to talk like that did he?

The programme showed their houses they have now - Gary's house looks a bit like Elton John's wardrobe threw up on it. Gary was well cheesy getting his kids to run in on cue and asking if they wanted to hear daddy sing (bet they wanted to go "ugh, not A Million Love Songs again Da"), and the goatee thing on his chin was gross. Overall though, I think it really was a shame Robbie didn't turn up at the end, instead of sending them a video to all sit and watch - patronising much? Though I'm sure there are all kinds of issues there and that docu only really scratched the surface - Robbie is still well bitter about it all despite his massive success.

So it's Friday now - thank fuck - and I'm looking forward to the moment I get off the bus. Yesterday we went Christmas shopping (kinda), and it was actually suggested by the Boyf, who needed shoes and a belt for a charidee do on Sunday. The shoes he got are well nice - I was very proud of him finding them all by himself. I bought a big cosy cardie because I've been freezing in work, then realised I didn't have that many clothes to go with it since it's like a deep purple colour. I'm shivering today but I'm wearing a red top - I just can't pair the two. We managed to pick up one Christmas present, for our Yank, who's usually solid to buy for. It's a poker carousel with chips and cards and all the necessaries. I've since had the idea of going back and getting Boyf one. He's not a particularly big gambler - he only plays the lottery and puts a bet on the Grand National at Aintree. But strip poker sounds like too much fun to pass up. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving :)

First comes love...

This morning on the bus I heard a familiar grating sound, a sort of screeching of tyres in vocal form, and looked up to have my suspicions confirmed. The ranting militant Londoner from my masters course had boarded, and was ranting at the bus driver about the fare. It was so weird to see her, still seemingly in the same outfit, especially when I've had to think a lot about my dissertation recently, prompted by concerned emails from my tutor. If it hadn't been first thing in the morning and she hadn't been in mid-rant, I probably would have said hello.

Last night was my late night, and instead of my usual break-partner of Potter, I went with Mordred. Mordred was really nice when my sister's husband died on the phone to my mum, so she's won lots of points from me. My great nephew and her grandson were born around the same time too so we talked about that; then I was summoned to go see all her pictures of him, which was kind of touching because she lights up when she talks about him. It was a chilled late night cos Elspeth was just blatantly slacking for the last hour, so that made it okay for me too :P

And finally, congratulations are in order for Mrs. De Winter, who's totally in love and moving in with her new beau. She hasn't been seeing him all that long and it got me to thinking about things with the Boyf. What am I waiting for? Yes, I'm terrified of commitment, but we've been together for 6 years, and if we move in together now and hate each other then at least I'll find that out now instead of waiting another 6 years... right?

Prediction

We have a new blokey at work. He does a different job to me and gets to work a lot less hours, the lucky bugger! He's young, tall and quite handsome - I predict he'll end up with Weezer. I don't know why, it's just an inkling I have - they haven't even met yet! Watch this space!

Also, Rarebit finally left his leather waistcoat at home! This calls for a celebration! I would really like to burn it ceremonially and dance around the ashes drinking tequila and singing old pirate shanties... or something. I complimented him on his new look - you know, without saying "Thank God you've stopped wearing that disgusting rag." I'm subtle like that, see?

Funereal Laughs

Okay so, I decided to just go with the sombre tone and ya'll can ride it with me. Here is a short lesson in how to be a bad Catholic, courtesy of my family.

Aunt Boy George: Oh fuck, you'll see Jesus to what's-her-name? The woman that's kneeling and praying?
Mum: Our Lady?!
Aunt BG: Yeah, that's her.

Pebbles: They'd put one of those things in his hand, you know, them rosemary beads.

Tink: Why's the priest flicking water?

Sis: Aw, he even brought one of those sprayers, what are they called?
Me: A water pistol?

All: and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...
...10 minutes later...
Me: I can't stay here and play happy families with him, I'm so angry, they might have all forgotten, but I haven't, and I never will!

Sis: Is it okay to hug a priest?
Mum: Not when you stink of ale.

Bad Day at Black Rock

Shit, it's difficult to write posts when so much crap is going on in your life. My blog is meant to be a light, flippant, happy-g0-lucky sort of space, with the odd moaning session thrown in for good measure, and maybe the occasional non-serious breakdown when I've had a tiff with the bitchy cousin or the supervisor. Suffice to say, this past week would have made glorious fodder for the scriptwriters at Eastenders. The only good thing I'm able to write about is that my Boyfriend was thrilled with the Australian Pink Floyd tickets (MJ was green) I surprised him with on his birthday. Other than that, nearly everyone I love has broken down in tears at some point during the last week and are still in complete anguish. I'm having the day off today because I've hardly slept, even though I would rather be at work than at home today. I'll post more when WW3 has calmed down a bit, but for now I think there will be a short intermission (unless I later decide to post everything in one big cathartic rant! :P) I'll still be reading my usual blogs though, as they're my only respite when I'm chained to a desk!

Scorpio + Aries = Passion

Happy Birthday to my gorgeous boyfriend! 28 today!

Full Moon

As I am enduring another late night at work I thought I'd try for an update, in between the excellent work I'm carrying out for the University, naturally.


Firstly - a belated Happy Halloween! Halloween can be pretty fun if you get into it, which this year we didn't really make the effort - on the night we went straight out after work for a meal and to take in a show at the Empire (above), Twopence to Cross the Mersey, which was just kind of eh, whatever. I'm assured the book is much better but I'm not really into those kinds of books, and I thought it was a poor portrayal of Liverpool and Liverpudlians, especially the bit about the old man and Helen bonding because it was the first 'proper' English he had heard since he arrived in Liverpool. And lines like "Cos I relate to people what's got class." Cheek! But Boyf was quite excited to catch a glimpse of Sinbad from Brookie, who was also there to see the show. We encountered him a couple of times, including in the street after it had finished when both Boyf and I went: "Sinbad!" a bit too loudly and his wife gave us a funny look. He looked well! And it was a good way to avoid the trick or treaters.

Continuing the Halloween theme, Potter and I have just been discussing scary movies. He celebrated All Hallows Eve with The Blair Witch Project. I went to see this at the cinema when it first came out. Our Yank saw it a few days before me and planned to sneak into my bedroom the night I'd seen it and stand in the corner facing the wall to scare the bejesus out of me, but he was foiled in one way or another. Potter's all time scariest films include The Ring (Japanese version) and Don't Look Now, and I struggled to think of one cos I'm quite easily scared by films to be honest. But I did recall trying to watch Mulholland Drive on my own in a dark bedroom and getting the biggest fright of my life when that scary face scene is on, for anyone who's seen it. I was that frightened I just thought "I can't handle this!" and switched it off. I'll get around to watching it one day though as I keep hearing good things and am told that at the end you're like "WTF?" which is something I look for in a film :) By the way I totally couldn't remember the name of this film and Potter guessed it with the meagre clues of "weird" and "scary face."

Talking of all things weird and scary, I am again blessed by the presence of the Foot Perv. Dude is totally freaking me out for numerous reasons that really have to be seen to be appreciated. Also, today, Potter and I were sharing the small table in the staff room having our lunch. This table is really narrow and piled with junk from the book club so there were three chairs but really only space for two, at a push. Foot Perv waddles in and asks to share my half of the table - well I can hardly say no. He was practically on my knee eating his dinner. It sounds petty but he was seriously up close and personal. He does it behind the counter though, he's like superglue and bumps into you all the time because he tries to follow you so fast. If the sensitive balance of what we do at work can be compared to an intricate dance, then I have only one thing to say to Foot Perv: Spaghetti arms!

Pierre the lunatic French dude came in today too. Whenever I'm dealing with him there is a certain element of fear because he's really unpredictable, but if you handle him right, or are lucky enough to catch him in a playful but tolerable mood, then he can be pretty funny. He returned a 3-day loan book late. It has a big yellow sticker on the side saying 3 DAY LOAN and the due date stamped on the inside - 28 Oct. You're going to have to imagine the French accent.

P: Excuse me, I think this book is late but I won't have to pay a fine, nobody told me it was a 3 day loan.
Me, in a light, jocular, please-don't-turn-into-The-Incredible-Hulk tone: Ah yes, there's a sticker on the side there. That's 80p.
P: No I don't have to pay a fine, nobody tells me.
Me, smiling sweetly: Yes, I'm afraid you do, there's a yellow sticker and the date you have to bring it back is stamped here see?
P: Ah, okay okay, I try to use my business skills! 18p?
Me: 80p, thank you... okay, here's your receipt and I've taken it off your account.
P: Okay, you win again!