All the world's a stage...

I think that's enough complaining for one month don't you?

And Oh. My. God! The hunky guy I mentioned? Married. But also after my sis! I thought this before when she told me about an exchange they had, but now I know for sure because I know him! He had an affair with one of my mates! He is such a nice bloke though, really funny and a great personality, he helped me out so much today. But, then he came back with another tip he had remembered (I've forgotten all the tips because I was so gobsmacked!) and it was SO obvious me and my sis were talking about him. My sis had just been saying: "I'm not as attracted to him as I was at first, that shirt and tie he has on puts me right off and he gets gunge collecting at the side of his mouth, but his personality..." He walked in, we stared at him, he looked back at us, then I went, "I was just saying, I recognise you! Weren't you in Victorian Studies?" I think we just about got away with it!

Just for the record, I don't think he's that hunky. But he used to be a lot fitter than he is now, he's lost so much weight! He really is a good bloke, but seems a bit of a womaniser. He was so helpful going through the stuff for my interview with me, so I feel a bit guilty having all the goods on him! I warned my sis that he seems a bit of a player to me though. I said I've heard a few rumours about him and while you don't know if they're true, he was blatantly flirting with my sis anyway and he's married, so that's bad news. But how crazy is that? It's a small world after all. His advice was brilliant and basically amounted to 'Suck up as if your life depended on it,' so I'm really glad I met up with him. He gave me some insider tips too.

For some reason that's reminded me of something Mrs De. Winter told me once. One of our favourite tutors offered her some stunning advice on her way into a Shakespeare exam: "Othello's the black one." True.

The Weakest Link

Today was Jack Jack's big day. He looked like a little cutie pie in his Christening gown, and chuckled all the way through the service. He was as good as gold. I sat with my nieces, which was regrettably close to Judas, but he didn't really bother me that much, although frankly I'm surprised he can walk on holy ground. At the end of the service though, my young cousin, who is quite close to Judas and thinks she is a model, started being snotty with me while we were taking photographs. I couldn't walk properly in my new brown shoes, I think I need heel grips. I'm at home now, and they're all at the party. The minute I got home I broke down in floods of tears. My dad tried to take a picture of me at the Christening and I freaked out. I've no idea why, I hate pictures of me as a rule but I quite like having them taken on big occasions so I can look at them when I'm old and wrinkly and remember. When I say freaked out I didn't scream at him or anything, but I just waltzed off. I think it was because I didn't feel like I was part of it, I'm not part of the family any more. I can't believe a sixteen year old has just been so snotty with me. I'm massively over-sensitive when it comes to my family since the Judas/Dick conspiracy kicked off, and any other time would've just laughed at her for being such a tit, but now I'm like "Wahhh! No one likes me!" How pathetic. I'll get over it. One day. It's weird because I have kind of a decent perspective on it, even though I'm boo hooing everywhere I still feel like "Oh well." There are a lot worse things that could be going on, and I'm thankful for the good people in my life like my parents and my boyfriend. I really love my sister but my relationship with her is a bit strained now. I know that she knows what's going on is all bullshit, but she wants to believe Dick at the end of the day, he's the father of her children and I respect that. But it still makes me feel shit that people can just say whatever the Hell they like about me and just get away with it. If I ever did anything remotely like what they have the repercussions would be massive and I'd feel rotten, but that's why they know they can get away with it because I'm between a rock and a hard place, I won't make things worse for my sister and they know that. Gah! But anyway. Now I have to decide whether to show my face at the party later with my boyfriend. Minus points, I'll probably end up crying like an idiot again, plus points, us turning up will really piss some people off :)

Mo' Money Mo' Shopping

I could start these posts, "Today, I bought-" I so need this job! Did I tell you I've picked out reward boots for if I get it? They're fab, even Guillermo likes them. I'm tempted to mention them when they ask me what I could bring to the job at interview :P

Today, I bought: the skirt and shorts I bought yesterday in different colours (a sure sign of reckless spending if you ask me), a pair of brown wedge shoes so that I can finally wear the brown trousers and skirt I bought last year, an apricot coloured zip up jacket, a long bright orange skirt, and a duck-egg blue cord blazer for my interview (maybe, and it's smarter and nicer than it sounds). I regret not buying a pair of beige crop trousers I spotted in a weird little shop I don't normally go in and, oh, the shoes I went out for in the first place and couldn't find. My niece partook of the shopping. She wears clothes "like wrapping paper" and is unbelievably specific about what she's after, she takes after me like that :) She wanted the skirt and grey top I bought yesterday but today they were both sold out! She'll borrow them off me now :P

I may be going to the Christening tomorrow since I could just go to the service and bite my tongue to keep from hurling abuse at Judas up at the altar and refrain from chucking things at his Footballers Wives reject girlfriend. I'm still undecided. I'm trying to decide what would cause the least trouble. I made a bit of a lame excuse up to my sister because I didn't want to say "Well, it's because of your jealous prick of a husband and that nobhead Judas." I've basically decided that the only person it will bug if I don't go is my sister because she may think I'm being petty and deliberately awkward and nobody else will really care either way. I just hope I don't make a show of myself and start crying. Did someone you cared about ever really stab you in the back? And then every time you're forced to be in the same vicinity as them it makes you feel sick to your stomach? There'll probably be a few posts about the eejit over the next few days if I encounter him tomorrow. Advance warning. But I feel better after I've slagged him off a bit... and spent every penny I have to my name!

Oh, and I got my hair cut this morning. My hairdresser told me off for washing my hair too much. She said it strips your hair of natural... something good. I hate greasy hair though, I think I'm overly paranoid. I remember I ranted that much about the greasy barnet on Jamie off Eastenders that my friend confessed he washed his hair every time he was meeting up with me cos he was afraid of what I'd think :P I only wash my hair like four or five times a week though, I think that's normal? Anyway, I have my fringe back, hurrah! It was really starting to annoy me, and I look better with a fringe, or 'bangs' as David says. My hairdresser is really funny. She and my sister were swapping stories about giving birth though. I'm still wishing the stork thing was true.

The movement you need is on your shoulders

This week it was my cousin Crazy's fourth birthday. I got her some My Little Pony thing with lots of accessories to do their hair with and stickers. She said it was her favourite. Result! Kids can be harsh when they don't like their pressies! Then she wafted off to find some snails to play with in the garden. If only I'd known! It's Jack Jack's christening this week too but I may not go because I am right in the middle of a vendetta with cousin Judas, who is being God father. I want to go but I don't want to be a party pooper - every time I see Judas I just well up with anger and the choices then are: a) smack him round the face with a handy trout and stomp on his balls until he says sorry and takes it all back, or b) cry. Our last encounter was at a funeral so the trout thing was wholly inappropriate, I cried instead. There's no telling what could happen this time, so I might be wise to avoid it altogether. Or wear stilettos.

The trip to Manchester didn't happen today (I know that was a whiney post yesterday, sometimes I whine), but we made it into town (by that I mean Liverpool City Centre) and I got some great bits for my holiday, three skirts, one pair of shorts and four tops. We also got our euros! Hooray! Once my job interview is out of the way and my work is handed in I will be really really excited. I can just imagine loading up the car and setting off, it's so close now! We are driving to somewhere near Toulouse. It's a long way! Anyway I'm off now to prepare for the Big Brother eviction. God willing, I'll miss the next one cos I'll be t'other side of the English Channel!

Moaning Minnie

Today is a day for things going wrong. Completely trivial things that I won't care about tomorrow, but things that make my boyfriend stressed and hence drive me up the wall. Honest to God, three minor set backs and it's like the Wall Street Crash or something. Firstly, Klick. We went to pick some photographs up we put in to be developed yesterday. Half weren't ready and the other half were dramatically overpriced at 23 pence per photograph, there were more than 70 pictures on our camera. This wasn't the price we were quoted, but when we objected the girl simply told us whoever gave us that price didn't usually work in that shop and normally operated a different machine. So, that's obviously our mistake. Asda charge £5 for 50 photographs, so we were a bit miffed that we'd gone to Klick. In case you missed it, the subtle lesson here is not to go to Klick with your digital cameras. So, on to get our currency changed to euros for the France trip. We'd tried this the day before too but the swipey thing for credit cards wasn't working. It still wasn't working. Steam is coming out of boyfriend's ears at this point in time. So then the drive home. Boyfriend moans about this that and the other, slowly grinding me down. Then something comes on the radio about new proposals for charging drivers per mile they drive or some crap. Boyfriend mutters about that. Once at home, I get out my new hoody. I notice a series of small holes in the back of it, presumably from when the shop girl removed the electronic tag. It was the last one, so I can't even exchange it, but I should hopefully get my money back. Unless tomorrow is like today.

However, there is good stuff too. The drop dead sexy hunk isn't available until Monday, but I spoke to hilarious Australian woman today instead, and she was lovely. Sample quote: "Isn't this exciting? I have such a good feeling about this job don't you? I'll do anything I can to help you." Gave me lots of food for thought, so I can impress them in the interview with all my strong views on things like copyright and censorship. Now I just have to get some. I love the way I have to assemble a crack team of experts to have a hope of getting this job :P And, there is a glimmer of a chance I may be going shopping in Manchester tomorrow. I need holiday gear so here's hoping.

British men, I say yay

Upon recently reading V's fabulous post about British men, it got me to thinking about the type of guys I usually meet. I came to the conclusion that I actually meet lots of decent blokes all the time, all rather handsome, seemingly sweet, attentive, and funny. I'm sure they have their faults, but everyone does and they all come out in the end. So, what is my secret? How do I do it? I'll tell you. I already have a boyfriend, and am therefore completely unavailable. I can offer men nothing more than friendship and occasional insider information on the world of Women. I am firmly convinced that this ups your chances of meeting good guys by about 80%. It's some twisted Law of the Universe. For example, I have a job interview before I go to France. Somebody I know knows somebody who works in a similar position, and offered him up for much picking of brains. Great, how helpful. I am also informed that this somebody is a drop dead gorgeous hunk. Would this opportunity have presented itself to me had I been single and looking? Almost certainly not. Am I going to be able to concentrate on the task at hand should the guy turn out to be as hunky as reputed? Not a chance in Hell.

The best example of there being good British blokes out there is of course, my boyfriend, who despite a serious foot-in-mouth disorder, is a bit of a dreamboat actually. But don't tell him I said so :)

Expedition

Yesterday I added stuff to my workout and today my legs hurt. Ouch. On the other hand, I also ate a Big Mac. I don't even really like them. And I haven't seen Super Size Me, but I get the gist. Stoopid fast food. Step up in my exercise routine comes with the proximity of my summer holiday, which I plan to spend almost entirely in a bikini, God willing. Yet I still need to go clothes shopping :) I have a flat tum but I want to be toned and supple.

To the shopping. I need some shorts, some cool skirts for wandering around French villages, perhaps a summer dress or two, and shoes. I've been trying to track down a decent pair of heels to wear with my turquoise skirt for ever. I still haven't been able to wear it and I bought it in the January Sales! Travesty! If there's time, I may blag a visit to the Trafford Centre. However, not my boyfriend's favourite place. I prefer shopping in the city too, but I wanted to check out Mango, Miss Sixty and Aldo. Boyfriend is mistakenly more concerned with maps and route planning. Men eh?