Un-Canny

So, it is Saturday afternoon, and so far today I have done lots of important, practically crucial, stuff: circled what films I want to watch on Sky later, caught up on Wondy's Celeb Pages, done some birthday present research on Play for the parents, who both celebrate their birthdays this month (then there's Mother's Day too, oh happy coincidence), and checked the River Island site to see if they've had any more of these really cute red striped hoodies ordered in, since they only have size 14's left :( Yet it has been a more productive morning than these lines first suggest, as I have come up with a really interesting opening for a novel that I hope to begin working on soon. Later I plan to swot up on some dissertation stuff, and while this may seem laughably implausible on a Saturday night, let me just remind you that I plan nothing more exciting or challenging than watching a film in my pyjamas. This is because we are all skint from MJ's birthday celebrations last week and my life's main distraction, Boyfy, is in Newcastle for a week. Newcastle seems to be providing a bit of a theme for my day, since some of the research mentioned above involved seeing what Catherine Cookson products were out there cos my mum is a huge fan. However, while I think I'll avoid the Ale, I'm not sure that Boyf will be doing the same.

Welcome to the Hellmouth

Can you feel it in the air, the weekend is almost here! *excited*

Shocker: The past few days at work have been mildly interesting! I had to give interviewees and therefore potential co-workers personal tours of the building - me! - on Thursday, and I managed to get through it without putting any of them off (although four people didn't turn up at all, I blame that on word of mouth.) One woman even said I seem like a very happy person, I guess crediting some of it to my workplace... I refrained from revealing that I refer to it as The Hellmouth. It was a bit stressful, but it was cool getting a glimpse of who our next victim might be, and yes, I have my favourites :) The highlight of my tour, if you ask me, was when I informatively pointed out that the sketch of the tables in the postgraduate research area look like Y-fronts. And when Lila did the tours last week, she very professionally told the candidates where the loos were "in case you need a piss." *Applause*

Today we had evacuation training, and were basically told that in the event of fire, we have to guide any disabled users on the upper floors into a 'refuge' between two fire proof doors (which last for a good half hour, at least!), inform them that someone will come to collect them "at a later date" (I shit you not, these are the actual words used) and then tell the unspecified person in charge that they are there, so that they can tell the fire brigade, who may or may not refuse to go in and rescue them! This is the official line?! There was also a smattering of the phrase "before anyone fries". Personally, I don't think I could leave somebody up on the second floor stairwell with the promise that somebody might come and get them at a later date, like next Tuesday perhaps. The manager was like, "So we have to tell disabled people that they go upstairs at their own risk, because if there's a fire drill they might never get back out?" Apparently, they're still working the kinks out of their policy, which they've been developing for two years. Scared.

There have also been some really annoying students campaigning for some student union election thingy hanging around reception harassing people (a couple of people asked me if there were any alternative exits so they could avoid them!) There is in particular one really pushy girl with a loud voice bellowing "Cheers dude!" to people who voted and "Bit of support!" to those who didn't. Then they left litter all over the foyer. Today they were giving away chocolate biscuits.

Ooh, and on the hair front, I am happy to report that ceramic hair straighteners are my best friend, as they sorted out the bouffant the silly trollop left me with after her horrendous blow dry. She gave me a good cut though, if slightly shorter than I'd hoped. I made a bit of an effort on Thursday for showing people around too and was complimented on my shoes, hair, jumper, and (usually reserved for non-work activities) jeans! I'll try not to wear those jeans for work again though, or they won't be special anymore. You know when you start wearing something for work a couple of times because its like your favourite thing and you want a bit of a lift but then you wear it more and more often and then it comes to the weekend and you're like, blah, I can't put that on I wear that for work... no? Just me then?

It's official: I hate my hair

So, Monday night I got my hair cut, as did my sista, whose hair now looks frickin amazing, she looks so much younger (she be 35) and despite the fact that the stylist was working from a pic of Ashlee Simpson, her hair rocks. Cut to me. What the bejesus has she done to my head? I think lady went a bit too crazy with the layering. I've actually had to perform an emergency ponytail today. I'm just hoping it can be rescued with the help of my straightening irons until it grows a little. If not, I'm considering a bob. Yes people, desperate times call for desperate measures.

What about this for my new look?

Fuck, I could even go for this (stolen from Josh & Josh), it couldn't get much worse.

Chillin' like a Villain

I so want this tee! How cute is it?! According to Pink, Natalie P. got to some gangsta rappin' on her SNL appearance, but since the video of her performance has been removed, G, you'll have to make do with this pic! I really wanted to effin see that too *sulk*

EDIT: You can watch it legally here :P

Ice Breaker

So the snow didn't exactly last out over the weekend, but it did fall enough on Friday night for us to build a most excellent snowman in the park on Saturday and watch the ducks skating around on the frozen pond; we bought hot chocolate and I promptly burnt my tongue - it still hurts a little bit! I actually got up early to make the most of the snow, and then I couldn't sleep in on Sunday morning either so I am not my usual rested self this Monday. Our snowman bit the dust even before we'd left the park though, as on our third circuit of the Hall somebody had rolled it into the bushes and its crumpled head marked the spot where he'd stood. Not before we saw somebody taking its photo though :) The Boyf and I also had some fun in a powdery snowball fight.

Puppy waddled around in the park yesterday in his new jumper, and we also bought him a new harness and some bling - a bone-shaped ID tag with his name and phone number on in case he ever gets lost. Cute! Then I watched Turner and Hooch and cried at the ending :(

We also celebrated MJ's birthday, but in an effort to prompt a blog post out of him I'm leaving all that stuff out! Oh except to say that we ate tapas again on Saturday and are getting quite the expert orderers (we're such foodie people), and I wore my new very smart jeans, white shirt, and heels that hurt A LOT! But they're so pretty!

No rest for the wicked...

I'm walking down one of the book aisles towards the computers on my lunch hour in work, carrying my handbag, silver purse, mobile phone and listening to my MP3 player (My Humps), and some woman actually stops me to help her with the printer, and looks slightly miffed when I direct her to the computer help desk. Some people!

"You're not old cos that means I am"

Happy 24th Birthday MJ!

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year!

Almost Famous

Thanks to Jennifer Aniston lookalike Wondy for the entertainment she provided us when she linked to My Heritage, where you can scan in your mug and see which celeb you resemble. It's also quite funny to scan in different photos to see just how different the celeb matches are - the general rule seems to be, if they have a pic of a celeb doing a similar head tilt to you in your photo, then you must be separated at birth! The most hilarious matches belonged to MJ, who according to My Heritage is a cross between Matt Le Blanc and... David Hasselhoff! I am not even kidding. Imagine the hotness! *snigger* A couple of my best friends are Nicole Kidman/Julianne Moore and Ashley Olsen/Naomi Watts hybrids, whilst I am - get this - a cross between Shania Twain (!) and Kate Hudson (!!!) The lovely Boyf got Joaquin Phoenix. Whilst I am perfectly aware that I am certainly no Kate Hudson and Boyf is of course about ten times better looking than Joaquin, how cute a couple would those two be?! It's a travesty that they aren't happily married and off making beautiful children together somewhere.

Bet you didn't know MJ was dating Laurence Olivier and Hayden Christensen!

The Big Purple One

Note to self: when handling extremely new and expensive purchases, it is wise to take the greatest of care, rather than dashing, say, a Sony New Walkman MP3 player against the slate tiles of your kitchen floor with an untimely bag swing. You just can't have anything nice dear, can you?

So, my MP3 player does still work but is covered in tiny little scratches. I had it in perfect condition for all of about 12 hours. It really walloped the floor too so I suppose it's not that bad a result. It also reminds me of something I can't quite put my finger on.... hmmmmm, what could it be? And why this sudden urge for chocolate?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Today it is snowing in Liverpool! The snow always seems to just miss us, so I was chuffed to see everything covered in white this morning when I peeked through a crack in my blinds. I was less chuffed when I had to tiptoe to work through sludge and ice and arrived 2 minutes late, but if the snow sticks around over the weekend then it will all be worth it. Yeah, I know it probably won't, but a girl can dream can't she?

Just as an aside, remember those slacking tips I mentioned just yesterday? You'd think since it was on my mind I'd have spotted a golden opportunity when it was staring me in the face and instead of rushing to be a paltry two minutes late, had an hours lie in and been properly late since it's registered on the clock either way. The excuses in such weather are boundless and everyone else was bloody late, why oh why didn't I think of that eh? I'm a failure as a slacker! I'm so ashamed...

Anyway, after my precarious and slow journey to work, trying desperately not to fall over and break my ass, I arrived to find Lila and Jojo rolling around having a snowball fight while the manager watched them in amusement!

I just cannot wait to go home and play in the snow (if it hasn't all melted away by then...)

And since I pass my boyfriend's street every morning on the way to the busstop, I nipped down it and left a little message for him in the snow at the end of his path. An I HEART U. His dad noticed it first and when the Boyf was carrying his toolbox down the drive called out 'Chica's wrote I love you in the snow,' at which point my boyfriend swung his toolbox around and dented his car! So he called me on the bus to both thank me for such a romantic gesture and blame me for damaging his beloved vehicle. Ah well, you can't win them all eh!

I'm covered in beeeeeees!

So, last night I dreamed about Eddie Izzard. I dreamed that the library I work in was part-hotel, and he came to the desk and asked for a room, and even though I'd never booked anyone into any of the rooms before I insisted on doing it because it was EDDIE IZZARD! So I had to get one of my supervisors to show me where we kept the room keys and everything. Then after I served him he extended his hand to shake mine and I asked him if I could shake his hand in the same instance, creating a moment of awkwardness :P That's all I remember, except he was very handsome in the dream-flesh.

I was rudely awoken at six thirty this morning by somebody tapping on my front door. I thought it was my alarm clock and sat bolt upright, but then noticed the clock and promptly fell back asleep. I wondered if the knocking sound was a dream until Boyf said he'd heard it too. Note that neither of us bothered to get out of bed and see who it was though. Pair of old lazy boneses!

I can't wait to get my MP3 player! I ordered it off Play and the wait for it is agonising, I want it so that the bus ride home doesn't drag so much, and I also plan to try and sneak it around work with me when I'm on the boring jobs that nobody else seems to bother with but me. For example, this morning, me, Lila, and Hoggle were all timetabled for the same dull job, but I was the only one that turned up and the other two skived off in some undetectable manner. I would so get caught - I need to study them and learn their secrets! Any tips for A class slacking?

Dizzy Heights

Stuck in work until 9 o'clock and sans-pancakes, I am blissfully remembering that noon stroll through town I enjoyed yesterday, contentedly browsing through clothes racks and munching on a mango mayo butty from Greggs. Even my trip to the hospital didn't cast a shadow over my day, as I was in and out pretty quick, my lovely Boyf accompanied me, and the doctor was jolly and funny. I went because I used to get really bad dizziness, so every now and then I have to check in with an Ear Nose and Throat specialist and they generally get me to jump up and down on the spot with my eyes closed, which doesn't feel at all ridiculous. Here are some sample quotes:

Doc: (with a beaming smile) There you are. Are you still doing the dancing? (this must be in my notes as I'd never met this doctor before)
Me: Um yeah, can I ask you, do you think I am okay to wear headphones?
Doc: Yes, there is nothing to say that they are bad for you. Yes, I want you to wear the headphones and dance, dance, dance!

Yup, he's as mad as a hatter.

Roll on 9 o'clock. And to those of you celebrating Pancake Day: Enjoy!

Violets R Blue

Well-a well-a well-a ooh! I've had a lurvely weekend, with good food, good company and a good battering of my bank balance! Saturday I roped my boyfriend into some light shopping with the promise of some grub at the end of it; I got some nice shoes for work, a shirt and a very smart grey jumper, and we went for some yummy tapas and sangria. Sunday we lazed around watching Shipwrecked and then took Puppy to the park, where he barked at everything that wagged. Today was another good'n despite having to go to the hospital for a follow-up appointment, as I got half a day off work and sneaked in a bit more shopping; I treated myself to some jeans and got Puppy a jumper from Topshop! It's red and white, with a bone stitched into the back and a hood with a red bobble! SO CUTE! And all the while I was thinking 'I'm getting paid for this, tee hee!' Work was an absolute breeze this morning since I knew I wasn't in all day - oh to be a part timer! Although I probably couldn't afford to have such fabulous weekends then, and wouldn't be excitedly awaiting the arrival of my latest extravagant purchase...

It's so pretty!

Love, Elvis

A quick note about the state of my stats. Now that Tess Daly is back on the telly I am getting lots of boys searching for (naked) pictures of her in The Beloved's Sweet Harmony video again, because I mentioned it once many moons ago. How disappointed they must be with this result! Sorry boys! I also get lots of hits from people looking for 'most beautiful girls' and sometimes 'beautiful girls fucking', which I blame on MJ for his very embarrassing link to me. Again, my apologies, and a general sense of dubiousness about who my target audience is shaping up to be. I realise as I type this I am quadrupling the number of naked pic trawlers I will be getting, but I am quite sure everybody gets these since the most innocent phrase seems to be rendered seedy by an internet search engine (like my search for a bed retailer that brought up topless women as the first result - I'm Feeling Lucky indeed!)

But among the recent crop of stats has to be the most bizarre desire I have ever come across - a shy. plaintive question, tinged with a hopeful sense of teenage curiosity and/or a sort of simplistic fanaticism: can we see elvis kissing a girl? So, this pic is just for you Ontario. I love my Canadian readers! ;)

You're not f*cking Carrie!

Candace Bushnell (creator of Sex and the City, if you didn't know!) feels my pain. No really:

"'God, I hated my twenties!' she remembers. 'They were such a struggle. You are told you are going to have this big career, but then you find you are sharpening pencils.'"
- Marie Claire, March 2006, UK Edition, p.153, interviewed by Charlotte Moore.

Hope and pray, girls, hope and pray.

"What do you mean you're ditching me for Chica?!"

PS The title of this post is a quote from an interview with Mario Cantone, who plays Anthony in SATC, who I secretly wish I could go shopping with even though I understand he is a fictional character!

There's Something About Mary

A little more about the old genealogy project. Thanks to David by the way for the links. I've come to a halt on my research at the moment because, well, have you any idea how difficult it is to find a particular person with an Irish surname in 19th century Liverpool? And my family has Irish roots every which way you turn. Furthermore, every flipping woman seems to be called Mary. Even my generation has women called Mary, and really I think it's quite inconsiderate of my ancestors to give out common names in spadefuls and set such an annoying trend. Take for example my great grandmother Mary Brown. This sounds like an innocuous enough name, one that shouldn't really cause offense to anyone, apart from the 21st century granddaughter trying to pinpoint one person in a sea of 1,600 other Mary Brown's living in Lancashire in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Thank heavens for my nan's family, who prefer to dish out such monikers as Philophilus and Kezia. Great great granny Dewson, I salute you! (I'm guessing on that surname, I've gone so far back on that side I can't remember who's who.)

So, after my searches on ancestry.co.uk dried up, I decided the only place to go was the Public Record Office. I very efficiently got myself ready on Sunday morning, and distracted only by an hour or so of Shipwrecked, set off to find that it was in fact a load of pants and I could see everything they had via the Internet in my pyjamas drinking tea! So I am now back to square one.

And in terms of my non-Irish ancestors: I never thought I'd find myself looking for a Maltese sailor (or at least not in this context.)

Ready Freddie

I've been tagged by the marvellous Wondy. This one was actually a toughie as I don't have time to listen to music very often, for shame! But these are the tunes I've found myself humming while pushing a trolley load of books around work lately.

The rules: List 7 songs you're into right now. No matter the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs.

Basement Jaxx - Oh My Gosh
Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha. Yes, still.
No Doubt - Sunday Morning (sappy, pathetic little me)
KT Tunstall - Stoppin' the Love
Kanye West - Gold Digger
The Zutons - You Will You Won't
Queen - Don't Stop Me Now. I wouldn't have included this but ever since I saw it on Wondy's list I just can't get it out of my head! This song reminds me of driving around France, since Queen's The Greatest Hits was the only tape we remembered to take with us on our first visit, and we've played it in homage ever since. Also, Freddie Mercury rocks. Altogether now: I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars!

I'm meant to tag seven other people, but as always, just play along if you feel like, remembering of course that all those who don't play smell of poo.

Reality Bites

I swear the weekends are getting shorter.

Also, how do people manage to look fashionable at 7 o'clock in the morning? I can just about tie my shoelaces.

Thank Crunchie It's Friday

Okay, so I've been a bit of a lazy blogger recently. But, in my defence, I would like to say three things. 1) I have developed a new distraction/obsession in researching my family tree, and was quite into it until I hit a brick wall sometime last week. 2) This week I have been absolutely cream crackered and spent most of Wednesday evening in bed. And 3) I generally am quite lazy, and there are lots of other things I'm busy neglecting right now.

Heath: Is that Chica waving her pants at you again?

Now, with the preamble out of the way I can tell you without further ado that I finally dragged the Boyfy to see Brokeback Mountain last Sunday. I knew he would hate everything about the film, since it is really slow and atmospheric and has caused my dad to greet him with a "howdy" ever since, but he offered to go with me for a Valentines treat. How good is my boyfriend that he would actually fund my Jake G habit? He made me ask for the tickets though, and proceeded to throw popcorn at me throughout the entire film. But to the film itself: I really liked it, and that scene early on where the kids are screaming and Heath is trying to soothe them? An advert for gay sex if ever I saw one. It's hard to talk about without giving too much away, and there may be at least one person in the free living world who left it later than me to see it, so I'll keep schtum. But ah! How sad. Didn't rate Jake's 'tache, but I suppose they had to make him look older somehow.

Valentines perked up once I got home and the Boyfy surprised me with flowers, chocs, champagne, and strawberries, after pretending my Valentines gift was but a Toblerone. We haven't indulged in the champers yet as we have both been working all week, but this weekend looks quite promising as we are going out for a lovely meal at a French restaurant, which I'll need to get dolled up for and I don't know what to wear!

I am very happy today since it's Friday and this morning Crunchie complimented me on my hair. Call me shallow, but that kind of thing always puts me in a good mood! If I win in the Picking Up Lovely Girlfriend From Work V. Taking Dad for Early Pint battle Boyf has playing out in his gorgeous head then that will be the cherry on the cake!

PS I've been stuck with Foot Perv so much this week I even dreamed about him! In the dream, I was throwing a party and somebody brought him, so he knew where I lived. Then, in the middle of the night, I went downstairs into the living room and he was staring in through the windows, not at me, but at the Christmas decorations we had up. He was just doing this horrible shark-eye glassy stare that he actually does in real life, but it was terrifying, so I called the police - in my dream - and told them there was a weirdo hanging around outside my house! Potter finds this hilarious, but I think I may need mental help...

Seeing Red

Happy Valentines Day to one and all! Guess where I am right now? In the arms of Jake Gyllenhaal, drinking champagne and licking ice cream off body parts I hear you cry? Nope, guess again: in work on a late night shift until 9 o'clock with none other than the foot pervert! Do Valentines get any better than this?

God willing, I will have a whole hour with the lovely Boyf before I have to go to bed and catch Z's so I'm fit to return to this place once again in the morning. And what is my first job in the morning? Counter with Foot Perv! Joy!

Sorry, it helps to whine. Hope ya'll are having more fun than me!

One Year Well Spent!

This seems to be the traditional way of marking a years worth of prattle, so here are my top 5 posts:

1. The One

2. Lust for Glorious

3. Tissues & Issues

4. How You Doin'

5. Are lassos involved at any point? This is very recent but I had to include at least one guest-spot from Mr. Silverknife. So in joint position: Being 23, merely to note my now defunct equation, Sienna Miller @ 23 + Jude Law = All Good.

Thanks for a swell ride!

Why, Blog?

Well, tomorrow marks a year since I started blogging, and I have to ask the inevitable question: what does anyone get out of blogging? You know, unless you're some sort of time-defying, shape-shifting genius that can make a career out of it. Is it worth it? Or, and to honour the occasion, should I vow to shut the hell up and leave you guys in peace for the next blogging year?

My conclusion is that blogging is really its own reward. I think everyone does it for different reasons, but I simply treat my blog as an online diary, somewhere to write about my thoughts and experiences so's I can look back on them and cringe with embarrassment, jump for joy, or ask why did I wear that? It's also a place to exercise my (lack of) writing skillz, since when I started my writing journal I wrote so formally from writing academic stuff, and I really think this has helped me to loosen up my style. And really, I think it's good to have a reflective space to go to and think about your life and the world (oops, don't know how that got in there) - a form of meditation if you will. Plus, you know, it's just kinda fun.

Are lassos involved at any point?

Conversation on a Monday Afternoon

Chica says: yeah? sorry i just got distracted by a clip of jake g and heath ledger snogging *swoon*
Guillermo says: i watched that last night... asscrack fountain
Chica says: dont tell me anything i really need to see it!
Chica says: oh my god that is the sexiest freakin thing i have ever seen
Guillermo says: lol
Guillermo says: boys kissing each other?
Chica says: i know, im just too messed up arent i? i think it's the jake factor
Chica says: whoa... thats hot
Chica says: who did you watch it with?
Guillermo says: well boys like seeing girls kiss each other...
Guillermo says: shall i leave you to collect your thoughts for a few minutes ?
Chica says: i asked u a normal question somewhere in there
Guillermo says: hehe
Guillermo says: i watched it with (friends)
Chica says: *sigh*

LATER...

Guillermo says: i'll talk to you about the film once you've seen it... there's stuff i keep wanting to say
Chica says: i cant believe i havent seen it
Guillermo says: it's by ang lee so it's well slow going
Chica says: yeah i heard that
Chica says: good cinematography?
Guillermo says: the picture was a bit fuzzy on the download but it was well shot
Chica says: thats what im going for, see
Guillermo says: not to see jake penetrate another man?
Chica says: hehe
Chica says: mmmm penetrate
Guillermo says: this conversation is so not suitable for work

Happy Mondays

I got my boyfriend to call in sick for me this morning. Then I switched my computer on and was greeted by this little snippet of information from MSN News. Ahem. Of particular interest:

"The findings threw up a couple of gender-related anomalies. While men and women will take an average of nine "sickies" a year, female workers believe they could get away with taking twice as many days off than their male colleagues.

The survey also found that while a cowardly 17 percent of workers would get someone else to call in sick on their behalf, 28 percent opted for the tried and tested cough and splutter phone call.

As for regional variations workers in the northern city of Liverpool admitted to taking on average an extra 13 days a year off compared with a mere three days for Londoners."

Hmpf. My uncle has never had an unscheduled day off in the past 15 years! He's getting an award. Yeah, do it for Liverpool Uncle Elvis!! While I sip this tea and listen to the soothing sounds of KT Tunstall...

...I really hope my boss didn't read that!

Blonde Ambition

I'm calling in sick tomorrow (technically today since it's after midnight and I'd usually be getting up in like, five hours time) so I thought I'd make a plan for what to do with the couple of free days ahead. I am legitimately feeling cack, but I could try and make some use of the time off. Therefore, I tentatively propose to organise my wardrobe, give half my clothes to charidee, strip the wallpaper in the bedroom, redecorate it entirely, box up all my crap and store it in the attic, buy some art, go for coffee, shop for some skinny jeans, a smart blouse I saw in Zara, the perfect pair of ruby slippers, and some work clothes, listen to lots of music, watch a couple of DVDs, finish my dissertation, walk the dog, bring Peace to all of humankind, go grocery shopping and buy lots of yummy food to cook for Boyf - realising in the process that I in fact have the talents of Nigella Lawson, buy a Valentines card, start a best selling novel or else discover a wildly successful career can be had sitting in bed eating chocolates and reciting my thoughts over a big pink diamante telephone to a stenographer, remember to put the rubbish bin at the end of the path on Friday, and find the Missing Link. It's my job holds me back, see.

I also found these old quotes I meant to post:

Me: If you’re gonna tell me how to make toast I will punch you in the face.

Dad: Did you cry when you fell over?
Angelica: I just got up and said “ow.”

And more recently:

Lila: (shouting loudly at the reception desk) This is a student announcement, Joe Bloggs has not had sex this year. I repeat, Joe Bloggs has not had sex this year!

Heal Over

Today I am mostly: feeling melancholic. I don't know, I'm having one of those Where Is My Life Going? days. I'm still a bit under the weather so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm enjoying a lazy weekend; I just had a nice long bath while listening to music, and yesterday I watched movies in bed all day. I think I developed a crush on Hugh Jackman somewhere between X-Men and X2, probably all that shirtless action and tortured soul bit.

It's weird, whenever I stop to think there's a danger that I get like this. I just feel like I should be somewhere by now. Maybe I should pack in the indulgent weekends and get writing, but it kind of feels pointless. At school and stuff everyone acted like I had so much potential, and then nothing happened. People say I'm doing really well for where I came from, and look at what other people I grew up with are doing, but I don't think you should measure success or happiness by what other people are doing or where you came from.

The family stuff has been bugging me too. I have plenty of things to be happy about though, particularly the Boyf. People can search all their lives for what we have and never even get close, and I feel really lucky to have him. So even though I get a little introspective and self absorbed in my ramblings from time to time, I really do count my blessings.

Sheesh, this post has a lot of the letter "I"! *Cringe*

Peace out yo! (For David :P)

Eau de Bertolli

It's lunch time on a Friday. I should be excited with the anticipation of the end of the working week and a fabulous host of weekend activities to look forward to, but I'm sick! I'm sniffling through the day, looking like crap and trying very hard not to be monosyllabic. I'm just going to have a moan for a bit. Scroll down and indulge in some Hoff instead if you wish.

I've hardly slept all week. I keep waking up with a fright at all hours through the night (3:36, 4:07, 5:55, 6:28, etc. according to the glaring red digits of my alarm clock) and looking at the clock thinking that I will be late for work. Why is this happening? I've been late like, twice since I started, so it's not like it's something to worry about. I also had a meeting with my manager yesterday, and my six month probationary period is finally up at work, so I get a pay rise! And then another one in April! But back to the hollerin' and a-fussin'. This morning I was in such a state of zombification that I forgot to put the lid on my tub of yummy tomatoey pasta, and I'm afraid the flimsy layer of cling film that was present was not up to the job of saving the contents of my handbag! I had to scrape the sauce off everything at first break; it is not a pretty sight. It was a yummy lunch, not quite worth the drama, but it would have been worse if my bag had leaked too - the coat I am wearing today is beige. The horror! The horror!

Anyhoo. Tomorrow morning, if I feel a bit perkier than I do right now, Boyf and I are going to an antiques fair at St. George's Hall, followed by coffee and cake of some sort, and a little light shopping. If I just focus on that maybe I can forget about the pasta sauce smell emanating from my handbag. Honestly, it's quite tiring being this glamorous you know!

Ooga Chakka

This has been featured on two of the blogs I frequent recently, including the massively popular Go Fug Yourself, so it's hardly new, but for anyone who missed it: embrace thy love for the Hoff!

Chicken Run

I cannot believe that I am back in work, as of yesterday. I'm gutted I took those days off to study now that Valentines is coming up and I have no leave! I'm meant to be working late on the 14th! Hmmm, who can I ask to swap? I will be so gutted if I spend Valentines behind this bloody counter instead of tucked up with my honey *sulk*

I had such a good time when I was off though, despite the fact I had to spend much of it reading literary theory! I am so looking for a Flexi Time job when I get this dissertation in! Just imagine, not having to get up in the middle of the night!

I bought a couple more movies off Play to assuage the pain of returning to work: Meet the Fockers, X Men, X2, and The Interpreter. Potter has borrowed Identity as there is actually a film he has not seen! You can ask Potter about the most obscure film and he's usually seen it. Which reminds me, I really want to go to the movies this week but I don't know what to see. Boyf won't go see a film about gay cowboys, you know, in case anyone finds out, and MJ already went to see it with Spanky, the traitor! I kind of don't want to spend three hours watching King Kong, so I'm considering Just Like Heaven. It's Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo, and it's by the people who brought you Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, a fact which will make some cheer and others vomit into the nearest receptacle. Maybe if I threaten Boyf with Just Like Heaven, he'll take me to see the gay cowboys...

Oh, and a joke for MJ (I'll show you my underwear later... that's not the joke):

Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?
A. Because he had his willy stuck in the chicken!

Gung hay fat choy!

It's the year of the dog, bitches! My time has come! muahahahahaha! ...ahem. And since it is the year of the dog, we decided to forego the promise of amazing celebrations in China town (dancing dragons, a river of red confetti, and Tai Chi demonstrations galore!) and take Puppy for a day out to Wales! First, we had a lovely breakfast of croissants and hot chocolate, and it was utterly delish! Puppy is now snoozing happily; covering me in muddy footprints really seems to bring him a sense of peace and contentment.

Last night we were meant to go to Jojo's house party, but we tried to squeeze in a quick bite at the Mexican first and were told there was an hour wait for a table when we arrived, so that was that out of the window. I'll have to get her a nice pressie to make up for it! I wore my new boots, waistcoat, and tan coloured jacket my mum got me and felt rather smart if I do say so myself! Boyf had the national dish of Mexico, Chicken Mole, created in 1620 by nuns apparently. This small fact coupled with the spicy effects it had on poor Boyfy has inspired me to rename it the Holy Moly! I had a gourmet burger, which despite being covered with sauteed onions, mushrooms, mozzarella and soured cream, was surprisingly bland. The restaurant has a lovely ambience though and the starters were gorgeous, I had halloumi fingers in a red onion chutney - yum!

God I am really making myself hungry! Peking duck tonight methinks.

Quack.

"Baby baby baby, you can have my private number..."

I know, I know, I'm meant to be working, but rather than slacking off, I'm publicly announcing my current word count in an effort to spur me on to greater word production! The dissertation from Hell currently weighs in at:

Introduction: 3,226

Garbled mess that needs to be split into chapters at some point before the end of the millennium: 8,685

It sucks that I've already had three days off ya'll!

...I'm really gonna regret doing that aren't I?

The A-Z of avoiding doing any actual work

I stole this from Janelle. It counts as a study break, m'lord!

A - Age I got my first kiss: 16
B - Band I'm listening to right now: The Thrills
C - Crush: Jake G./Jeremy Edwards
D - Dad's name: Pops
E - Easiest person to talk to: MJ, always
F - Favourite band at the moment: I've been rediscovering No Doubt
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: Bears
H - Hometown: Liverpool, Liv-er-pool!
I - Instruments: Eyelash curlers, hair straighteners
K - Kids: Ewww, where?
L - Longest car ride ever: Car - Liverpool to Toulouse, coach - Liverpool to Berlin
M - Mum's name: Mrs. Christmas
N - Nicknames: Don't think I have any?
O - One wish: Long, healthy, happy lives for me and everyone I love
P - Phobia(s): Heights, up to and including flying and the central staircase at work!
Q - Quote: "I'm covered in bees!" Izzardisms largely inform my day-to-day speech
R - Reason to smile: Turning off the alarm function on my clock radio
S - Song I sang last: Mr. Cellophane (I recently watched Chicago and was ignored in conversation with housemates :P)
T - Time I hate: 7 am
W - Worst habit(s): Procrastinating... ahem
X - X-rays I've had: A couple on my hand
Y - Yummy food: I really want to go back to that Mexican!
Z - Zodiac sign: Aries

I'm guessing nobody's interested in J, U or V? Suggestions on a postcard, please! :P

Mr. Motivator

I just thought I'd post this e-mail my tutor sent me in an attempt to fenegle some work out of me. This is actually the nicest he has ever been towards me, so I'm thinking he must have a rather desperate outlook on the whole situation regarding my dissertation?

Dear Chica,

I'm sure you'll understand my concern at not receiving a reply to any of the emails I've sent you since early in September. Please, if you are experiencing any difficulties, get in touch. It's better in the long run to meet any blocks head on rather than to go into ostrich mode and hope things'll get better. (See how well he knows me?)

I know that some students feel able to complete the dissertation module without any assistance from their supervisor. However, this invariably isn't the case. In recent years we have had students who've done this, and it has resulted in their dissertation being referred. This has then necessitated a lengthy re-writing process. In no case was the student not well able to complete the dissertation, simply that they didn't take advantage of supervision and the work submitted therefore wasn't up to scratch. I wouldn't want this to be the case with your dissertation, as your best work is easily capable of passing.

Best wishes,

Mr. Motivator

You'd really think that an e-mail like this would galvanise me into action, no? If Mr. M. does have a rather gloomy outlook on the probability of me finishing my dissertation any time soon, it's likely that I'll prove him to be correct. Especially when we consider that until yesterday, I hadn't even looked at my dissertation since I received this e-mail... on November 10th!

Please, cross everything you can for me.

Fishing for, um, compliments

And on a completely different note, Jess of Blind Cavefish posted a link to a transcript of the Colin Farrell sex tape, so I thought I'd share it with you. Enjoy!

London Whale

I just had to post some pics of the Whale in the Thames. I was really upset that she died. I think they're so beautiful and would love to go see them in the wild one day. So I just wanted to say a sad farewell to such an amazing creature.

Just as an aside and to lighten the tone of this post, anybody who has been to the aquarium in Newquay may recall a sign outside that declares "Dare to put your head inside the mouth of a Killer Whale!" That particular whale though happens to be plastic and suspended from the ceiling, so I don't know how they got away with that advertisement.

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

This week is gonna be such a good week as I have three days off - count 'em! Just today and my TNL (Tuesday Night Late) to get through and then I can lay in bed instead of dragging myself up and getting dressed in the dark - dunno why I don't just switch a light on :P In other good news, Boyf was meant to be going off to work in London today but it's been cancelled so I've got him all to myself (what's the bets he makes plans with Butthead now I've said that? :P)

Weekend was great, but passed in the blink of an eye, what is up with that? Boyf and I cooked together on Saturday and made a to-die-for pasta, then settled in for the film fest I spoke of in my last post. Yes, we watched all of two films over the entire weekend! And we had to stay up until 2 am on Saturday watching one of those. We cleared our schedules on Sunday to watch DVDs all day and watched not-a-one! I couldn't even tell you what we did instead, the day just sort of drained away like sand in an egg timer. On Sunday night we ordered some pizza and stuff in but it turned up nearly two hours later, and it was stone cold. Gutted.

Managed to squeeze Big Bro in though; oh my goodness what a plonker George Galloway is! I really hope Chantelle stays and the other two get the boot on Wednesday. I also couldn't help but notice that Jodie Marsh has made it into the halls of fug fame! That'll show 'em!

Am I the only person who hasn't seen Brokeback Mountain yet?

"I hate anal sex, and I've got a piano!"

So it's the morning after the night before. It was Lady Penelope's leaving do last night and for it we headed for some Mexican food after work. (Fajitas burned my face off.) Unfortunately, the Foot Perv tagged along to add a little freakiness to the proceedings and stare at our high heels all night.

A brief aside about Foot Perv. He is the object of much fascination amongst some in our office (and the chief topic of conversation for Lila and Burnsy), but I try to keep out of it as much as possible cos I think that on the whole he's harmless (though I do wonder sometimes, particularly since Guillermo's One Hour Photo reference.) Yesterday in work, he walked past the counter and bashed straight into a sign we have out there without even flinching or missing a step. Burnsy was in the process of serving someone and just stopped to stare at him, then apologised with a matter-of-fact "Sorry about that, I'm just obsessed with that member of staff."

I almost got left to walk over to the pub we were meeting in on my own with him but Burnsy came to my rescue and declined a lift from Jojo. I spent most of the night with Jojo and got to know a few people a bit better, like Lila for example. She reckons that she doesn't really talk about herself much (true) until she's had a few drinks, and then she's all like "My name's Lila, I hate anal sex, and I've got a piano!" These are her own words folks. Well, close enough :P

After the meal we went to Labinsky's on Mathew Street (I never go out in Mathew Street), drank horrible cocktails and had a bit of a boogie. Lila's voice is amazing and she busted some moves to make everyone laugh until practically the whole place was watching her in a strange mixture of amusement and admiration. Then I called Boyfy to pick me up and sat in Jojo's car for a bit until he turned up, when, to his delight, all the girls cooed over his Land Rover.

My DVD's arrived earlier this week so the plan for later on today is to snuggle in front of our new TV/DVD/Video Combi (so neat) and have a movie fest. Boyf gets really bored of films quite quickly though so it'll probably end up a solo effort unless I can trade him for MJ.

Yesterday I was again called upon to take the minutes and it was a bloody 'mare. Everyone was milling about in different groups talking about where was the best place for these new machines we're getting and my notes are so complicated that they hardly make sense. P.Diddy has to make sketches!

It was also Grinch's birthday. Bovvered?

OMG how good was Big Brother when they showed Preston and George nominating?! It was so funny when George was like "We'll just tell them we've been punished," on the way out and they were all watching it on the screen. Best Celeb Big Bro ever (despite the lack of Jeremy Edwards)?

Desperate Scousewives

There's this feature on a local radio station called Desperate Scousewives. They get people calling in asking to be set up with someone they fancy, with often disastrous results. The most recent one I heard (I'm usually in work when they do this, so I only hear it if I'm lucky enough to cadge a lift in on a Tuesday afternoon) went a little something like this, except I can't remember the guy's name so let's just call him Bob:

DJ: We have someone who's rang us and they want us to let you know that they quite fancy you!
Bob: Oh... Really? Me?
DJ: Yes, are you single at the moment?
Bob: Ummm.... well, who is it?
DJ: Are you single or not?
Bob: Well, who is it first?
DJ: *Laughs* Have you got someone in mind you'd like it to be?
Bob: Well, there's a couple...
DJ: Oh right, you're a one aren't you! Well it's actually Lucy! You've known her a long time but she never had the guts to tell you before.
Bob: Lucy??? ...Oh, Lucy! Yeah, I know her.
DJ: So what do you think, do you fancy a date with Lucy?
Bob: Erm... God, I'm just so shocked!
DJ: Don't you fancy her?
Bob: Well, she's a nice girl and everything but she's not really...
DJ: Is she not your type? What colour hair has Lucy got?
Bob: Blonde.
DJ: Do you not like blondes?
Bob: Well, yeah, it's not that... she's just not... my type.
DJ: So what is your type then?
Bob: Ummm... not female.
DJ: Oh right. You're gay then?
Bob: I thought she knew!

It goes on for a bit. As soon as the DJ finds out Bob's gay he starts calling him luv :P But my point is that hilariously contrived debacles like this happen way too often on Desperate Scousewives for me to suspend my disbelief. Like the other day they rang some guy and he was like "She's a psycho, tell her to stop calling me, I've confessed to my girlfriend and everything, it was one stupid mistake!" Surely, it has to be fixed? I quite like the name of the feature though :)

Work, Rest & Play

How is it Monday already? What happened to the weekend?! Saturday was great - we watched a Bill Bailey DVD, which made me laugh SO much, and got squiffy, and I ordered all kinds of stuff off Play.com. Then on Sunday we gave Puppy a haircut, and I ordered some more stuff off Play! What? They're having a Sale! But that was it! How can that possibly take up an entire weekend?

For the record, I purchased:

Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business. An impulse buy.
Gwen Stefani - Love, Angel, Music, Baby. I heart Gwen.
K.T. Tunstall - Eye to the Telescope
The Best of Wet Wet Wet. Boyf's Valentine present cos he's a fan, the big sop!
About A Boy. This is the first movie I went to see with Dedalus and we both loved it.
Along Came Polly. Could've been funnier but I have a soft spot for Aniston.
Chicago. Despite the fact that I despise Richard Gere in this role. He just is not Billy! CZJ looks great in this.
The Day After Tomorrow. For Jake G ogling purposes.
Donnie Darko. One of my absolute favourite films. And more Jake G :)
Forrest Gump. An always watchable Classic.
Identity. Such a good film and I really like John Cusack for some reason I can't quite put my finger on.
Mean Girls. Need I elaborate on this one?
The Great Escape/A Bridge Too Far/Some other war film. Also for Boyf.
The Wedding Singer/My Big Fat Greek Wedding/The Wedding Date. I've never seen the Wedding Date but this combo was too good to be overlooked.

And now I'm back in work with the Jim'll Fix It theme tune stuck in my head! And you, and you, and you!

The Christmas Highlights

So much happened since my last post before Christmas and my first one of 2006 that I won't even attempt to record it all here. In a bit of a Davina moment, here are my best bits!

On Christmas Eve we filled the living room up with all our presents. You could hardly move in there! I charged the video camera up and filmed the Boyf opening his kayak. He was so surprised and looked really chuffed! We start opening our pressies on Christmas Eve because all the family descend on us on Christmas Day and we never get time to open our own gifts. We also have a tradition of having hot turkey and stuffing sandwiches and opening a bottle of champers - the champers didn't happen this year cos Boyf didn't feel like any. Christmas Day is a blur of arrivals and kisses and presents; my sis was really happy with her Sugababes tickets, and Pebbles waved her silky knickers in her boyfriends face then said "Sorry nan," to my mum. My mum, holding Pebbles' baby, replied "It's a bit late for that!" In a stroke of pure indulgence, I snubbed our Yank's Boxing Day meal in favour of some very decadent me time. I ran a bath using some nice scents and stuff that Pebbles got me for Christmas, lit some candles and had a good long soak with a glass of Baileys and some Ferrero Rocher! Then I made my tea and settled down in front of SATC. Fabulous!

Then there was our French Expedition. We left Liverpool at about 3 AM and started the drive down to Portsmouth. For half the journey I texted Guillermo, who was en route to the airport for a Polish New Year. We got a cabin on the ferry and had a bit of a sleep, and when we arrived in France it was snowing. There was deep snow at the roadside for our whole journey, and they closed the motorway a couple of times because of light blizzards. The roads were so icy that it was a bit of a treacherous journey, and when we reached our destination we decided that it was so not worth it! The place we had initially booked with the whole family (who all subsequently dropped out apart from my folks) was an absolute shit bin. It was freezing fucking cold and they had all the (useless) radiators set to minimum, and were surprised when Boyf asked them for logs for the open fire. The duvets were the thinnest summer duvets you could possibly find, and there was an enormous draft blowing through the house from all the doors, windows, and even the light switches! On the first night we were there, the gas ran out in both of the houses we were all staying in. The next morning, we awoke to find ice on the inside of the windows. We all decided we couldn't possibly stay there, and so set off to Domfront and a lovely gite where we've stayed in the past, but the owners were out. We wrote a little note with our phone number and stuck it on the door. We had to restrain my mother from writing HELP in the snow. When we got back to Maison Les Miserables, we plugged in the electric heaters we bought at the local supermarket, and the electricity blew and was out all night! But we weren't too downhearted as we got a phonecall and were off to Domfront the next morning! We were thrilled to see our rescuers as they ushered us in to sit by the roaring fire and made us tea. New Year was saved and we had a great time from then onwards, wrapping up warm and walking around the gorgeous grounds, sitting in front of the log fire, and enjoying a couple of bottles of bubbly on New Years Eve (one at midnight and one at 1 AM - cos it was midnight in England :P) We adopted their cat - called Hercules, but we renamed him Boghead after we found him drinking out of the toilet - and the bugger kept me up all night wanting a stroke and a fuss. We also had numerous visits from a local farmer who spoke no English, and as we speak very little French it was a bit of an awkward business to conduct a conversation. He brought us some homemade cider on his first visit and then kept turning up every night around the same time; there was lots of "so, you have cows?" with accompanying impressions and hand gestures from Boyf, and "oui, la vache!" from him. I also recall a conversation about Euro Millions and a recitation of different alcoholic beverages. Still, he was a friendly sort, so we left him a little note in phrasebook-French and some beers, and a bottle of champers for the gite owners too. It's funny how the little French you do know completely escapes you when you actually need it!

We made the most of our last day in France by touring up to Bayeux to the most gorgeous little Tea Salon and having coffee and cakes. Then we had a poke about the Cathedral for a bit before making our way towards the port. Bayeux is really pretty and I might post some pics from last time we were there soon since we didn't take that many this year. We also stopped at Pegasus Bridge and Boyf jumped the fence and had his photo taken on the bridge itself.

Anyway, I'd better vamoose and get ready for curry and beers in aid of my sister's 34th.

Bye Bye Jodie

I am very disappointed that Jodie Marsh was evicted from the Celeb BB house last night. I thought she was a complete mess and utterly vile when she was talking to icky Denis Rodman about lesbian sex and all the rest of it, and it's so obvious that it was all a big front she put on to get attention. But the rest of them were so harsh on her and bullied her terribly; it was a total witch hunt and I couldn't actually believe what I was seeing. The most ludicrous crime they pinned on her was that it was actually her who was orchestrating all the bullying in an effort to make the public feel sorry for her. Michael Barrymore has got to be mentally ill and I can't believe the rest of them not only stood back and let him give her so much abuse but actually supported him. Oh, and Rula Lenska and George Galloway pretending to be cats? I nearly lost my lunch.

By the way, Pete Burns (right) totally reminds me of a woman I work with! Which also reminds me of a rather back handed compliment I overheard in work a while back.

Burnsy: Lila, you know who you look like today? Heidi.
Lila: Range? Sugababes?
Burnsy: Yeah, with your hair like that.
Lila: Aw thanks! Do I really?
Potter: Yeah... but I think it's just the hair though...
Weezer: Oh yeah! Heidi or that one from Black Eyed Peas.

Team Aniston

I nicked this from Wondy (who nicked it from www.perezhilton.com), LOVE it!

And I am SO Team Aniston!

Anti Climax

So, it was the Lost finale the other night. I'd missed the show before so I didn't see them launch the raft and get the warning about the black smoke or owt, gutted! I managed to get really into it just before the series finished! Typical. Channel 4 showed a funny announcement about how they, like us, are disappointed with the end of Lost and that, like us, they want to know what the eff is going on, so they're gonna show the second series in the Spring. I stayed up past my bed time to watch the double episode on Wednesday because I knew that the next day at work somebody would be bound to spoil the end (the next day I walked past Potter and Lila and heard "did Sawyer get shot?!" so it's a good job I did.) But anyway. The Walt bit was a good twist and they found a long ladder, ooh! The guy who was showing them how to handle dynamite was so funny until he exploded. I love it when a show takes the piss out of itself like that.

I am so glad it's Friday because it's been a bitch getting used to the back-to-work routine. We have meetings Friday mornings, and this morning after we had all settled down the boss looked up at me and, quite unexpectedly, said: "[My real name], you can take the minutes, get your note pad." We have never taken minutes at meetings before. Furthermore, I don't have a notepad. But anyway, after a look of shock rippled around the room - really, we live such bloody sheltered lives that that can surprise us so much - I pilfered some paper and scribbled down everything everyone said, and now I have to like, write a staff bulletin. Wednesday was something new too cos I got sent to work in a different building with Lila and Elspeth, which felt a lot like going on a school trip or getting sent to another class cos you've been naughty! I think we all must have regressed or something because we tried to crank call the building we usually work at but the phones were broken, and we kept getting the giggles. Plus we were all wearing really similar coats so we looked like a posse walking through town, for shame. Then Boyf had absolutely no idea where to pick me up from so I had to wander around in the dark looking for the Jeep, which I walked straight past and we didn't see each other. And to add insult to injury I'd left my trifle in the fridge at our normal workplace, and when I got home MJ said he'd wanted it so I had to bring it home for him the next day! How unfair!

Laters.

Fresh

Here it is, Meme Numero Dos. Thanks Wondy, I'm finding these a bit addictive!


1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago I was thirteen years old, or nearly fourteen as I remember telling people. I was at a school I hated, and I think I had a crush on this tall, dark guy; we used to buy each other little presents, he bought me an enormous lollipop one time. I started writing a novel that is still incomplete, but which I worked on quite slavishly for a good while in my teens. I loved Take That, festooned my walls with posters of them, and expected to grow up and marry Mark Owen. I hung around with three other girls, and we attended not one but two PJ & Duncan concerts together. I occasionally see a couple of them in the street but never say much to them beyond hello.


2. What were you doing a year ago?
A year ago... I was working on my dissertation trying to get it in for the February deadline (um, yes, the dissertation I'm still writing!) Deciding to start up a blog but not writing anything on it. Staying up all night on MSN with Guillermo. And filling out endless job application forms. The only difference now really is that I'm stuck in a 9-5 job while trying to juggle all the rest of it.



3. What are 5 of your favourite snacks?
I'm good when I'm at work and snack on fruit or yoghurt, but for Christmas I got a box of Toffifees (luv 'em!) and I like Doritos when slumping in front of a DVD. Oooh, and chocolate hobnobs for dunking into a cup of tea!


4. What songs do you know all the words to?
Never Ever - All Saints, due to a rather tragic Boxing Day karaoke many years ago
Lots of stuff by The Beatles, particularly from the White Album and Abbey Road
Destiny's Child - Bootilicious
Cry Me a River - Julie London
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme tune


5. 5 things you would do if you had money
Buy a nice little house in Cornwall by the sea
Make sure my folks, sisters and nieces were sorted for cash
Buy properties across Europe to renovate and a camper van to travel between them all :)
Quit my job and spend all my time writing
Give more to charidee... no I'm not just being corny, if I was I would've put it first! :P


6. 5 bad habits
I worry far too much
Procrastination
Empyting the entire content of my warddrobe when attempting to dress for a night out and leaving it all over the floor
Flirting with boys I shouldn't
Starting books and then not finishing them, something that would've driven me mad before the days of speed reading 3 novels I had no interest in within 3 days for classes


7. 5 things I love to do
Spend quality time with my nearest and dearest
Shop for clothes
Watch movies
Write my blog/read others'
Eat gorgeous food in nice restaurants!


8. 5 things I would never get new, buy new or wear again
Hair scrunchies - the worst
Leggings or footless tights - why they were revived I shall never know
Flared or baggy trousers - look absolutely ridiculous on me
Leopard print anything
Fur - perhaps the only thing I admire Jodie Marsh for is having a go at Pete Burns for his disgusting monkey coat on Celebrity Big Brother


9) 5 favourite toys
Okay, this Christmas I was like a ten year old with the presents I got; they even included a gorgeous dolls house that my boyfriend got me because my dad had always promised to build me one when I was growing up, so that has to be one.
My pink Nintendo DS!
My laptop, don't know how I ever lived without the thing!
Board games
I'm struggling to think of a last one, but I had lots of fun with this outfit! :P


I'm also meant to do five tags, but you know the score whoever wants to play. (David, you could resurrect your blog with these, you got a fan asking you to come back!)

Baa Baa Black Sheep

Happy Birthday to my sis! 34 today, and the most unlikely grandma in existence!

Parlez vous Meme?

A few lightyears ago, like before Christmas, I was tagged by Wondy. I have finally got around to finishing the first one, and am still working on the second!

Meme 1: Tell 5 random things about yourself that nobody else knows.

I have very few secrets, so this lot is the best I can do! At least some people will know all about these, but a couple of them may come as a surprise!

1. Escapism.
I want to run away and live by the sea in Cornwall, where I will eat pasties and ice cream and drink nothing but Scrumpy! :P I love the sea, even though I can't swim, and the thought of living there is so appealing right now. I could take Puppy for walks on the beach and get away from the craziness for a bit. Me and the Boyf could have a lovely little house together, it'd be perfect!

2. I like boys I do.
All my closest friends have been boys. When I was growing up my cousin Judas was one of my best friends. We spent absolutely hours together, climbing trees, sliding down mud banks on our bums, and... playing Barbie! Yeah, I'm outing the sucker! Judas is a Barbie lover! Revenge!!! ...Ahem, where was I? Oh yeah, then of course MJ is like the most amazing friend I ever had (and not just because he reads this blog, no sir!) At uni there was Dedalus; our friendship provoked all these rumours that we were having some passionate affair (note passing in class, trips to the cinema just the two of us, him breaking up with his gf) and to be honest we did teeter into weird territory for a while - he started doing this thing where he held out all these intense gazes and stuff, and there was a time it felt like he was my boyfriend. This is why being mates with straight boys gets complicated. I am not forgetting the lovely Guillermo, my new found Take That comrade! (Hehe, only kidding.) David, who sent me bouquets of red roses on birthdays and Valentines past when I didn't have a boyfriend. And at work the person I feel like I get on with the most is, surprise surprise, Potter, while all the women send me into a paranoid frenzy of "do they like me? what did that look mean? does she hate my guts? were they just laughing about me? I hate this place, I want to move away and join a kibbutz!" It's not that I don't have female friends, but girls are generally harder to work out. Like the prophet Lindsay Lohan says, in girl world, everything has to be sneaky. See also, postcard.

3. I'm a one-man girl.
I've only ever slept with one man. This is something I'm happy about, and the thought of sleeping with anyone else just seems so wrong. If I became single again, this would really worry me, though I know if I met the right person it probably wouldn't seem like such a big deal. It's not that I think it's wrong or bad to have numerous sexual partners or whatever; I just know it's not for me, and think myself very lucky to have met the Boyf and had my first time with someone who truly loved me.

4. I crave the freedom to write.
My job is totally zapping my free time and I hate the restrictions it's put on my life. I have hardly any time to work on my dissertation, never mind my novel, and I really miss it. I'd love to be able to jack it all in and just go for broke with my writing. But I know that's just too much of a gamble; I need money to live and unfortunately, working on my novel is not a very lucrative business. My biggest pipe dream is to be published someday... Or, I'd quite like to be Zadie Smith. Have I mentioned this before?

5. My lovely lady lumps - check 'em out!
I've gone up a bra size, but I haven't been shopping yet and I got lots of underwear for Christmas. Consequently, all my bras are too small!

Now, I don't understand this bit.. I have to take the name off the bottom of the list and put mine at the top? Was that it?

Chica
Wondy
Shelli
Mel
the rain queen(poody)

Meme 2: Coming Soon!

There's no place like home

So where did Christmas go? It's all gone by in a blur. I got back from France in the wee small hours of this morning after a ten day trip, and tomorrow I'm back in bloody work! Did someone lean on the remote and accidentally press fast forward? Belated as it is, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!

It felt like it was still Christmas this morning (ahem, more like afternoon) when I got up and opened my mail. I had a delivery arrive while I was away of two big boxes full of clothes I bought online in the sales before I left :) I am chuffed with most of them, but I'm returning a duffle coat that makes me look like a second hand car dealer. Not the look I was going for! Then I switched on my laptop to catch up with everything and was greeted by 230 items of spam! Now I have to get ironing, and ferret out my new bag amongst the jumble of Christmas pressies stuffed in my room to prepare for tomorrow. Post-holiday blues anyone?

More later, when I'm awake!

P.S. I've heard much about the new series of Celebrity Big Brother but I can't get excited about it as there is no Jeremy Edwards for me to lust after and develop an unhealthily intense crush on. And all I can say is... Michael Barrymore?! I'm guessing there's no swimming pool then?