I have a couple of things to get off my chest:
1) Remember this? Well, I'm sitting at that desk right now looking at those doors. There is a reason office relationships are frowned upon. Every corridor holds a memory, perching like a little gremlin full of mirth at my evident discomfort and longing. Bittersweet nostalgia haunts me in my working hours. Imagine if he still worked here. I know an office flirtation might be a fun diversion in an otherwise dull expanse of time, but when you actually fall for someone and it doesn't work out... well, it's just not worth it. And if I ever felt a little crush creeping up on me again, I would do all in my power to suppress it like I managed to for ages with Alfie.
I'm trying to work towards a very sort of Buddhist, yogic, deep breathing, forgive the world, hug a tree, love thy neighbours screaming child, inhale a cactus... wait, scrap that last one, attitude of acceptance and gratitude for the times we had. Let's face it, I never thought the dude would look at me twice and if I hadn't gone for it then he wouldn't even have given me a cursory glance on his way out on his last day. I know I'm making more out of this than needs be but I was willing to give up everything for this guy even though I knew he didn't deserve it and wouldn't fully appreciate it. That's going to take some getting over. Bear with me. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
2) Bad hair day in the worst way. My hairdresser has been in Australia for six weeks. My hair, it pays the price. And I still haven't fixed on a colour. I'm so in need of a new look right now.
Sounds like you've been pretty down lately. Sometimes you just have to suffer through it. I'm sure things will start looking up again soon.
ReplyDeleteAnd good luck finding a new color. Why does hair have to be so difficult?
Thanks for the advice April. Yeah I agree, I am just riding it out at the moment. Worse things happen at sea and all that.
ReplyDeleteI have never coloured my hair and I'm really worried I'm going to fuck it up royally! xx